We decided to give Swingin' Richards another try on Thursday night. What a difference a day makes. We got there again at about 9.30 PM and we were assured at the door that there would be plenty of dancers and there were. There were so many hot dancers that after about a half hour they began stripping in teams. Swingin Richards also seems to provide all sort of different types to please everyone. The only similarities between all the dancers is that they all have hot asses and great big dicks, which they seem to " gather" in cock rings so that they remain semi- hard during their all nude sets. One of the things I really liked about the club is that the dancers weren't constantly pestering you for lap dances and the bartenders weren't trying to push drinks. It's a great place to come and relax and watch a bunch of good looking guys take off all their clothes, if that's what you're into. One thing I wasn't fond of was the table of drunk women next to me, who were wearing stupid looking wax lips all night long. One of the dancers even asked them " What's with the ugly lips!" All in all, we had a fun time last night and If you're visiting the area I'd highly recommend you stop in and enjoy the eye candy. One final thing....there was smoking in the club, which I personally hate but Florida is a Red State, so I guess it can't be helped.
Review Source:MOLDY OLD SPONGE
A very good friend that lives in Ft. Lauderdale wants to love this place, and therefore has taken me here twice while visiting. Both times have been a major yawn fest. For my friend's sake, I really wanted this place to live up to the expectations.
THE "GRAND" ENTRANCE
We walk up to the House of Tacky, in all its hideous red neon glory. The doors are clad with giant handles--oh, wait, on second glance they are curtain rods and finials jimmy-rigged together. I'm glad the owners were able to exercise their 40% off coupons at Michaels Craft Store to make the "big purchase." The theme must be "trying to make something out of nothing." Well, at least they are consistent. Because nothing is what you will see here. Did a couple of broke college students open this embarrassment to adult entertainment on a shoestring budget? Heaven help the world, who will pay daddy back for such an abominable waste of money. The cover was $10, and I would recommend looking behind the black curtain, where you will see six sad bar patrons and some second-string dancers who can't get a job elsewhere. Can I get a refund?
THE INSIDE
Was I in the Museum of Natural Ugliness? Or a tribute to Patrick Nagel? Corrugated shiny silver ceilings entombed this sarcophagus of a strip club. Hotel carpeting, and some of the worst styling from the 80's, complete with Denny's Restaurant club chairs lined this tacky lounge. Lazers flashed from every direction, but even they couldn't mask the catastrophic, abysmal failure of this empty club. Other than six patrons, the only other people in the place that didn't work there were friends of the staff. And even they weren't numerous.
THE DANCERS
Okay, I'm no trip to Hollywood, but these dancers are holding themselves out to be something special. So, while I wouldn't normally criticize, we have to talk about what we saw. A guy with an acne-scared complexion that would rival Freddy Krueger. I would normally feel badly for him, but oh, the arrogance! How about some old, tired, dancers with fairly nice bodies, but who missed some essential lessons in presentation. In the light of the lazers, you could see spots where one guy completely missed "manscaping" himself and had nasty patches of hair on his lower back! And the stretch marks wouldn't turn anyone on. Trust us, it just goes downhill from there. The big deal here is that they get "completely naked," but we'd have paid them to keep at least a g-string on. They were DESPERATE! They kept taking down their g-strings and making "presentation gestures" to the six of us watching in disbelief. Like haggared, liquored up girls scouts hawking their "thin mints," I just wanted to cry for them!
AGGRESSIVE
Apparently, the dancers were pissed that no one was there, and that we didn't want any private attention from them. Who could blame us?! Two drinks were $24 on top of $20 we paid to get through the front door of an empty 80's decorated barn. The one guy offered to take down his pants, and when we weren't interested, he got nasty with us! He said, and I quote, "where are all these 'NO's' coming from?!!!!" And then he got downright hostile and confrontational! Finally, he flipped us off and moved on to a couple fat guys probably more desperate than the dancer, and even they felt "tapped out" and didn't "appreciate him." Oh well, Ramen Noodle lunch tomorrow for the "pissy private dancer."
FINAL
We waited, and waited, and friggin' waited for things to improve. But they just got worse. My friend had a scotch with a twist, but the bartender put a LIME in it! Who puts a lime in Scotch? So, when my friend asked for a twist, he was met with hostility: "That was 20 minutes ago." So what! Put a damn twist in the $12 drink and be grateful we are there tipping you.
Two boring and expensive trips here. You couldn't put enough lipstick on this pig if you tried. Stay away...stay FAR away! I'm going to quote Yelp in concluding this review: "EEK, ME THINKS NOT!"
NEGATIVE STARS for this overpriced club that made me wish I'd have brought a jumbo can of Lysol with me. Like a plague of locusts that fell out of a troll's butt, this nasty club has descended upon us. Harry Potter says, "Yuck, Yuck , DOUBLE YUCK! Make it go away!" Parking? Plenty of it available. Good for Groups? NO! Not good for ANYONE! Noise Level? Quiet. Why? No one there! Expensive? HELL YES.
I came in with a group I friends. They are very strict with women being that this is a gay club. They asked me to please respect the dancers and the other customers and not act crazy. Lol. I totally saw what they were talking about later in the night. These women were crazy. They management staff was great. They made me feel welcomed. The guys, holy crap!!!! Â Hotness. We had such a good time. The drinks were very strong and kept flowing. My gay friends had an absolute blast! Â You should really go there. I will never forget it! Â Go go go!
Review Source:Swinging Richards is an adult playground for men and women who are looking to take a peek at the goods of some of South Florida's finest male dancers.
I came here twice--once on a dare, the second when my friend was in town--and this place just amuses me. The first time I came the dancers looked fresh and exciting to bust some moves on the pole, but the second time I came they looked a little bit exhausted and seemed like they did not want to be there.
The venue of the place is quite roomy. There are lounge chairs around the stages so patrons can gawk at the amazement of a true swinging Richard, and there are private rooms all around where those who are willing to spend a little bit of money can attend.
But please note that these "adventures" can be pricy.
The drinks here are quite strong, and I had my friend get really drunk after three drinks here. She was quite wasted by the end of the night, but two dancers offered to take care of her. The first just wanted a rubdown. The second just wanted a fling. Needless to say, I had to take her away from that situation.
Swinging Richards, also known as where the grown-ups play. There are no swings here though, just a lot of Richards.
I was in Florida on vacation recently and saw an ad for Swinging Richards in a guide. A friend from Atlanta set out to take me to the one there a few years ago, but we never made it. I had a really good time at Cupid's, the W. Palm strip club, when it had full nudity and was still open, a few years ago, so after reading all the positive reviews here and hearing basically the same from guys who were staying where I was, I decided to check it out.
I went on a Thursday night and got there at 8:30; I think it opens at 6 or 6:30. There were only a handful of customers, and the dancers hadn't started yet, but they did, oh, probably within half-hour, 45 mins. I kind of felt sorry for the first few because there were so few people in the club, but the crowd picked up and probably by 10 there were quite a few people there.
The club is super nice, nothing sleazy or seedy about it. Everything looks brand-new. The bartender was all that and a bag of chips, super buff and handsome. A cocktail was $9, and they pour a tall one.
The dancers are, for the most part, cute; some are really handsome (taste in these things is subjective, I know); most have good to great bodies. You'll probably find your type among them.
People kept telling me that the dancers were chill, that it wasn't like Boardwalk in Fort Lauderdale or other places, where they're overly aggressive and come up to you pestering you for tips all the time. (Here, if you want to tip, you go up to the stage and put the cash in an armband the dancers wear.)
I found that to be mostly true. Because there were almost no people when I first got there, I was tipping every dancer (I mean, they're working and taking off all of their clothes, it kind of seemed the decent thing to do.) I guess that indicates that you are interested in having them come up to you after the set. Maybe? Not all of them did.
But a few did. One new guy (he said), who was super handsome and had a great body, said he'd love to give me a private show. You know, that's fine. Handsome guys talking to you? Swell. Still, I always feel uncomfortable turning someone down; it's just awkward.
One scrawny little twinkie Latin guy who sounded like Hank Azaria in "The Bird Cage" (and who I guess was the most endowed in the club; it was as big as one of his legs), though, was very aggressive; came up at once after he was off stage and started rubbing his pkg against my leg. He was really pushy, then got pissy and mouthy because I told him I didn't want a VIP dance.
That kind of thing really puts a damper on an evening. As I say, most of the rest of the guys were cool; that one was far and away the exception.
It was my Birthday, and a few friends and I decided to head out to Swinging Richard's on a Wednesday night and catch the sights. We are not a late night crowd, so we arrived early, around 10:30PM. The club has a big, lighted, secure parking lot. The doorman Angel was super cute and very nice. The club is quite large. They have a great sound system, great lighting, and everything seems well planned. It has a very "Gentleman's Club" sort of vibe. The dancers are really amazing. There is something for everyone. We fell in love with a dancer named John. You gotta see him!
What really struck me about this place was that it seems like a well thought out, well oiled machine. Quite rare in the Gay Club business, and especially for a Gay Strip club. The boys were all very polite. Never aggressively seeking you out for tips. They even come over and thank you if you have tipped them during their sets.
Lately, there has been a lot of controversy from Aventura about the fact that is is a Male Dancer club. So ironic in this day and age that in the very spot there sat a seedy titty bar before this. Get over it people. Don't the residents of Aventura know what happens to property values when the Gays start moving in? Take the pressure off, and relax.
There's only one way to describe my utter giddiness at the spectacle of Swinging Richards: kid in a candy store.
Thanks to the wonderful Paul W., a group of Yelp ladies were lucky enough to visit this sexy Shangri-La. To avoid the obnoxiousness of large groups of women (aka bachelorette parties), Swinging Richard's has specific rules when it comes to the female sex, one of which involves the necessity of a male escort. Lucky for us, we were accompanied by some open-minded male Yelpers. ;)
On to the establishment. Oh, the eye candy. From the helicoptering to the gay porn on every TV, everywhere you looked, an eyeful awaited. If I ever wondered what gay men do in the privacy of their bedrooms ... there's noooooo more mystery. I must say, it takes a little getting used to when a dude walks by in briefs, only to stop, whip it out, and swing that Richard!
Not to mention the naked lap dances ... while we didn't partake personally, those were something to see: wangs wagging all over the place, in faces, in laps, in the air...
For some, the plethora of penis might take a little getting used to, but once you get into the groove, the place has a laid back, fun, totally and entertaining vibe that made me never wanna leave. (Hence our 4:15am departure time)
And the men ... oh the men. What do you say about these gorgeous, glistening archetypes of the male sex?! Something for every taste, from big to little, from buff to scrawny. Lucky for me, most of the dancers were big, buff, sexy specimens of man - right up this girl's alley. ;) Paulie and I were in seventh heaven. So much to see! So many to choose from!
There are a few female haters in the joint, but in general, the patrons and staff are totally friendly and accommodating, and most totally appreciate a fun-loving woman. :) Drinks are actually totally reasonably priced, and the cover is only $10. WELL worth it.
Seriously, this is a bucket list type of deal. DO IT! Swinging Richards, how I love thee. I'll always be buying what you're selling, that's for SURE. ;)
(And a huge shout out to our straight Yelp dudes who were able to hang (so to speak) on this wild night. You guys are rock stars!)
Flat out, it's a gay male strip joint, and as such the best I've ever seen. The "professional dancers," as I understand they prefer to be called, do go all the way, as in stripping right down to the nude, except for maybe the shoes. So for all those gays, except maybe those with a foot fetish and for girls into ogling nude male bodies with certain appendages exposed and freely "swinging" about, this is the place for you.
I don't think there's the a place around where I've seen more one dollar bills seemingly appear out of nowhere and then disappear back in nowhere then reappear again. Like, since I only had a Grant ($50) on me, handed it to the bartender in payment of a nine dollar drink, I naturally received forty one, one dollar bills back in change.
Besides the fact that dancers go all the way, which is why I had to give the place my five star seal of approval, they also surprisingly serve a decent drink. That and that the place is big, clean, with decent light and obviously well organized and well run.
Sorry, I didn't add any photos to this review for fear of washing up certain Senatorial, other political, ministerial or religious careers; as is so often the case for those exposed.
We went on a Wednesday night. Â We were scared off by other reviews that they would charge for parking, so we parked at the P.F. Chang across Biscayne Blvd... not recommended. Â It's like crossing a busy highway. Park in their lot even if they charge! Â The guy at the door was very friendly and extremely polite. Cover was $5 a person and we got 2 Coronas for $11... quite a bargain compared to NY or LA prices.
Inside they had flat screen TVs playing muscle guy condom porn... Quite ironic for strip club! The crowd was typical Florida gay bar... mid 30s and 40s guys with a few older geezers. There was one scary looking group of druggie/homeless looking guys that showed up. They seemed to know the manager. Â
As for the dancers... they were athletic looking 20s types. Average size endowment. Mostly White and a few Latino. This 20 year-old looking super twink dancer arrived. He twirled on the pole a lot, but kept stopping to chat with the D.J. Â Not a bad place to visit for 1 or 2 rounds if you're heading out with friends for a night out. The owners allow smoking here, which might make me think twice about returning.
O K A Y
THIS IS THE BE ALL AND END ALL OF STRIP CLUBS. Â Classy, clean,full of naked guys... it just doesn't get better. Â I have been here twice and if seeing fully nude guys doesn't ring your bell go somewhere else! Â This is AMAZING. Â SEE to believe. Â HOT guys shaking EVERYTHING in your FACE - and a great staff pouring STIFF drinks all night! Â I'll keep cuming!
So I was at the UM game this past Saturday and during our trek back from a friends' post-game tailgate to where we were parked, I got a text from one of my friends: "New strip club not far from my place, "Swinging Richards". Â All nude!! Thinking about checking it out tonight" Â A smile came over my face. Â What could make for a better day: Â A win by UM and a day of hanging out and tailgating with awesome people, topped off by an evening of watching nude male strippers!
I got home from the UM game, took a power nap and got a few texts from friends who wanted to know if I planned to meet up with them at Sleepless Night on the beach. Â Suddenly, I felt like I was in that scene from "Animal House" where the dude has an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other when trying to make a decision. Â The angel was like "Young man, you go to Sleepless Night with your friends! It's wholesome entertainment, a bit of culture and all free". Â The devil was all like "Screw it, go to this strip club, you may have a chance of having a hot guy's nude scrotal sac dragged across your arm". Â The angel was like "The beach! Wholesome entertainment!" Â The devil then cupped his hands around his mouth to form a megaphone and yelled "SCROTUM!!!". Â I got a smile on my face, texted my friends and made arrangements to meet them at Swinging Richards. Â On my way there, one of them texted, said he'd just arrived there and wrote "Full nude is so crazy!". Â My foot grew heavy and I felt the gas pedal involuntarily hit the floor.
When one arrives here, you can valet or you can self-park for $3. Â The guys working the door were great, they welcomed me with a smile, charged me for parking, held the door open and invited me to have a great time. Â Inside, there was another employee charging a $10 cover, which is about average for most strip clubs in S. Florida, male or female, Â My friends were at the back bar, and as I walked through this place to meet up with them, my jaw nearly hit the floor; Every single model/dancer aside of maybe 1 was absolutely stunning! Â Seriously! Â Compare that with places like Boardwalk where they have upwards of 10 or 12 models per night, but you might only find 1 or 2 that's really attractive. Â Also, at Boardwalk, Dude's, Johnny's and even Twist, the models only strip down to their shorts/undies. The models here are left wearing nothing but their shoes and a smile after a few songs.
I grabbed a beer and we decided to have a seat at a table between the 2 stages. Â Though it was only about 11:30, this place was already pretty full of patrons. Â There were probably 15 models/dancers working on this night, and 4 were dancing at any given time. Â The front stage has a brass pole (it was pretty amazing what some of these guys could do with it!) and also a runway that extends in front of one of the side bars. Â The center stage is simply an open stage.
The models are all shirtless and start out in jeans, gym shorts or sweat pants, then as the next few songs play, they strip down to their underwear, then go fully nude. Â Each dancer has at least 1 arm band where you place your bills when they're dancing. Â Aside from that, they offer fully nude table dances for $10, lap dances back in their semi-private room for $30, or you can get time alone with a dancer/model in a VIP room.
On this night, the models were all friendly and a few stopped by to chat with us. Â However, I didn't feel like any of them were really pushy or trying to get people to buy extras. Â In fact, one of the guys at our table got a private dance from one of the dancers, and afterwards the guy got himself a drink and came and sat with us at our table and just chatted with us for about 10 minutes. Â He wasn't trying to sell us private dances or anything, he was just BSing with us and hanging out until he had to go back on stage. Â Needless to say, he was tipped well when he got back up to perform.
For now, all their models/dancers except for I think 1 or 2 were flown in from their Atlanta location, and one of them told us they're working on a rotation where they'll be flown into Miami to work here every other weekend. Â A lot of the dancers had a mid-western or southern appeal about them, and when you tipped at least a few of them, you could hear the Georgia accent as they smiled and said "thank ya!". Â If this club can keep hot and attractive dancers performing here, they'll do fine. Â However, if their long-term plan is to hire local Miamians, then it risks having the same fate as the other spots, where the "talent" isn't really great and most of the models are average at best. Â It should be noted that ladies are welcome, and this is clearly stated in their ads! Â The only drawback is that they allow smoking here, including by the dancers, and your clothes will reek of it after you spend any length of time here.
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