Trumpps

As strip clubs go, this is one of them.

My friends and I have pretty much settled on Trumpps as being the best bet strip club in the city. It's got a $10 cover, which is half as much as Penthouse (which I hear is awesome, but I'm not balla enough to afford it). Booths are an extra cost, but it doesn't cost anything to sit by the stage, and it's more fun there anyway.

It's almost sad that my friends and I come here enough that some of the staff knows us by name. That's probably not a good thing, but it makes you feel like some sort of scummy Al Pacino character when you walk in and are greeted by name, which is cool. You can even go right upstairs to the VIP bar if you're there just for the private dancing.

Drinks are super expensive (beers usually around $5-$6) and mixed drinks are on the $9 mark. Dances are usually about $25/song, which is pretty average, and most of the girls are good at what they do. In fact, a lot of the girls work at Penthouse as well, and it's cheaper for a dance at Trumpps. The private dance area is upstairs lined with booths. For a little extra they can close the curtain on the booth. BE WARNED - Bring cash with you because the ATM has a $20 surcharge. Robbery!

They have specials almost every day of the week. My friends and I can only seem to get our schedules to sync up on Tuesdays to go. $5 Long Islands and "Foxy" Boxing. I put Foxy in quotes because it's not that sexy, it's just some pumped up women whaling on each other for 15 minutes. I think Mondays have $3 domestics which is cool. I believe Sundays are KY Jelly wrestling. Classy.

As I have said before, (and as I'm pretty sure it is with most clubs) you're never sure what kind of entertainment you're going to get. Sometimes the women are amazing, other times not so much. Here's another tip - sit at the south end of the bar. That's where the tops come off.

If you've got money to blow, but still want to be "thrifty", check out Trumpps for a good night out. Just prepare for the lighter wallet and the feeling of regret the next day.

This place was the hot spot, about 20 years ago. It's worn down and so are the women. The rooms aren't as secluded and private as other clubs and the women are on the gritty side. The bar upstairs is a fail because it is too far away from the railing to watch the women on the stages. The drinks are moderately priced, but for a good time there are better places to go. I'm not a fan of foxy-boxing, but if you are- they have it on Tuesdays I think. The women who box are not the dancers, they are women brought in to fight. They may get a few dancers drunk enough to fight, but its mostly women who look like they're professionals.

Went here at the tail end of a long bachelor party event because hey, it's pretty much something you have to do. I had an okay time but I think strip clubs just aren't my scene. While I can appreciate the campy, raunchy fun available here I simply don't think the money spent is worth the services rendered.

I'll be frank: I just don't receive the value out of the cost of these places. My entertainment dollar is better spent pretty much anywhere. It's all well and good to have a frivolous good time but ordering a bucket of beers for $30 really brings my good time down to Earth. But I was the groom so it wasn't on my dime. Still, I cringed every time my best man paid for alcohol.

So I guess for me the experience was probably a two-star one but I'd say that Trumps is a fair to nice strip club. I can't judge it all that well because it was a Saturday so I wasn't exactly seeing the B squad and I was already drunk before I got there but it seemed to me to be as good as any other strip club I've gone to in the past.

I'd say it could be a good time if you honestly could say "budget be damned" and just throw a ton of money away on a night of paid flirtation.

For other bachelors out there, here's a game I invented while at our table at Trumps: It's called Cheap Seats. As the bachelor, dancers will come and sit in your lap to try and chat you up so you'll buy a dance or buy them drinks or other ways for you to pay for their company. Therein lies the game. The clock starts the second she sits on your lap. Once she's comfortable it is your goal to see how long she'll sit on your lap without anyone at the table paying her a dime. Whatever dirty strategy you can come up with is fine but just see how long she'll invest in you before she moves on to someone else.

Respectful? Not at all. Entertaining? Terribly so.