Linden Tavern

It's hard to believe I haven't reviewed the Linden yet. It's very close to my place, and I go a few times a year. Once you slip into this little place, you'll forget that you're in a pretty depressing old strip mall, right next to my excellent vet's office. It's cozy and has a good amount of age. Lots of local regulars (and if you're under 50, you'll probably bring down the median age). These people know their stuff. Linden does a mean Lake Erie fish fry, and their pierogi are respectable. It's a nice little bar with tasty food.

The Linden is a polarizing place.  Many of the complaints raised are valid, as are many of the accolades.  Depending on who you are and what you are looking for on any given night, the Linden can be a terrible experience or a cozy, affordable time.

It's called the Linden Tavern for a reason.  While it's got a good menu, it's very much a bar.  Not a sports bar, or a brew pub, or a "great place to get drinks."  It's a bar.  Dark, with music on the jukebox, and eclectic (cheesy?) decorations on the walls.  It's a bit of an institution, and it's crowd skews heavily to the older side of things.  I'm"m 32, and nearly all the customers are a full generation older.  So, keep that in mind.

The food is hit or miss.  I've had great meals, and I've had some actively lousy ones.  My go-to is the wings on Sunday nights.  The cook on Sundays crisps them up perfectly, and rolls them in a not-too hot medium sauce.   At 50 cents or so a piece, they are a great way to end a weekend.  Aside from that, I recommend the peirogies, and virtually any "special," whether weekly or one time.  The fries are outstanding, and their soups are often very tasty.  I've enjoyed their prime rib and clam bake specials, and for a bar steak, theirs is quite solid.  Alas, many of their normal food items are clearly designed for the retired locals, meaning it tends to run dry and bland.  I'd avoid the fish or the chicken Parmesan, to name to examples that were pretty lousy.  

The service manages to somehow be very pleasant and very slow.  I've discovered that being a regular helps a lot, and eating at the bar means quicker drinks than sitting at a table.  Don't get me wrong, the service is always with a smile.  Just don't expect anything to happen quickly.  Also, this isn't the sort of place that takes years to become a regular.  Show up a few times, talk to you bartender, and joke with the others, and they'll warm up to you.  Unlike a lot of bars, the servers are just as willing to refill your soda as to bring another beer.

For a bar, their draft selection is pretty pedestrian.  If you like mass market lagers (bud, miller, etc) or a GLBC Dortmunder Gold, you are in luck.  If not, they have a decent bottled selection.  This is not the place to try new and exciting beers.  I would say that for the service and ambiance, drinks run slightly more expensive than I would expect.

Overall, the Linden is a neighborhood bar that caters to locals that trend towards AARP membership.  I wouldn't recommend this for date night, or for a family with kids. On the other hand, there is no better place to grab a bit by yourself.  Take a book or chat with the others at the bar.  If you like bar food, I heartily recommend the Linden.  Sit at the bar, order wings or the spaghetti special, and enjoy a true neighborhood watering hole.  I give the Linden four stars under those criteria because I am a fan of what it is.  I go every couple of Sundays with a buddy for wings.  Even so, the speed of service, limited beer selection, and hit or miss quality to the menu all prevent mefrom giving it five stars.

Where long-time Rocky Riverites go to dine, and die...

This is a blue-collar, dark, (smoky during the days before the ban) neighborhood bar.  When my wife and I walked through the door, we were easily the youngest patrons of this establishment by at least three decades (admittedly we're young, being thirty).

The wife had a sausage and pierogi platter, and I was roped in by the con-job that was the filet and lobster tail.  First, what they call a filet, was not.  Top sirloin perhaps, and I guess their normal never-had-a-real-filet clientele wouldn't be able to tell the difference either way.  Second, the service was slower than slow.  I think one of our fellow patrons expired while waiting for their order to come out of the kitchen.

Really, I don't need to rip on this place any more...  we will never be going back.