The Malt Shop

A-OK pretty much sums up my experience this afternoon at the malt shop. I remember going here for malts and fries back when I was in high school, and I was eager to return when my mother mentioned it.

When we got in at around 11:30 there were about three other tables in there, already eating. There is one front room with about 7 tables and a main room with about 10. We were seated in the main room. The kitchen opens right up to the main room which made it an uncomfortable 100 degrees.

The server threw down some tiny waters right away which was nice, but we waited 15 minutes for him to come back. We asked what the lunch specials were and he said, pick what you want for lunch, we'll make it special. I asked what the malt of the day was, and he said to chose the malt we want and it would work....not what the board up front said. He just said, "how bout we order", not any questions, not how is everyone. Once we ordered, three of us split a fig and banana malt, which was really good and a little over $5.00. I asked for extra extra malt powder, and couldn't taste ANY. We started with cheese curds for $5.99, and the portion size was a little disappointing, and they were in the fryer too long so it was mostly breading left.

I got a black and blue burger, and ordered it medium. It was literally just one piece of bacon and some blue cheese crumbles. SO dry, and was cooked WELL. Mom got the malt shop sampler which had three mini burgers, and my brother got a club sandwich. We had to ask two servers, neither of which were our own, for a water refill before getting one. We asked for the check and just sat there for 10 more minutes...the list goes on.

I would say my main problem with the Malt Shop was the service (sorry Jeff, not that great), but the food was less than bar-food to me, and I am a bar food extraordinaire. For one malt, three burgers and curds it was over $50 which i thought was ridiculous, especially considering the quality and service.

Apparently they do have a happy hour though, and I would come back then.

Two stars: "Meh. I've experienced better." Three stars: "A-OK". Tough call, but I'm leaning toward the former.

Let's see. So, the Malt Shop. A Minneapolis institution. It was around when the Boulevard Theater charged 75 cents for a movie and gutter punks lived on the patio tables of McDonald's in Uptown. Yeah, it's that ancient. Tornadoes have ripped down these streets, fires have raced the walls of local buildings, doesn't matter, the Malt Shop continues to persevere. And so does the menu. Unfortunately.

The world keeps on spinnin', and these days it's relatively easy to find a terrific grass-fed burger and fries for around ten bucks pretty much anywhere, which puts little diners like the Malt Shop in peril. Coming back with my family for the first time in a generation, I really expected to find something new or original on the menu and I found... pretty much what I left behind. Same burgers, same salads - but wait! "Hot Nachos Especial" (we're going multilingual, I see) and a spicy fish taco wrap... sneaky. Did I order either of them? Nah.

Not the kind of original I was looking for, honestly. This is a burger and fries spot, so I was hoping for something in that arena: spicy chilpotle mayo, a buffalo or tofu option, green olives, truffle fries, locally sourced multi-grain buns, c'mon y'all, give me something. Instead I got the same tired choices: the LS, the Megamelt, Troy's "Southwestern" Burger (that there's a spicy take on an American staple, you betcha. It's PEPPER Jack). The final product was exactly as I'd remembered it, too: dry, flat, overcooked, frown face. Nothing poor, exactly, but certainly uninspired.

And so was the service. We were seated promptly enough and our server did manage to throw some water and menus on the table, but then we proceeded to wait about 15 minutes, staring up at the weird old photographs on the wall, pacifying the kids, wondering when... oh, there she was, the server. "So... Do you know what you want?"

That's it? How about "Hi, how's everybody?" or "Sorry to keep you waiting, we're really busy." Nope. Did we know what we wanted. Got it. This is a neighborhood spot with an old school mentality, I understand, but the attitude of the staff - across the board - was totally flat. Management roamed the aisles like the living dead.

While I didn't try one this time around, I'll vouch for their malts to the grave. I have managed to grab them, here and there, over many years, and I've never tasted a better icy treat anywhere else in the country. The Malt Shop uses fresh fruits and other ingredients whenever possible and they train every kid to mix it up right, even if he/she only sticks around long enough to buy another ounce of pot before they find better paying employment. I know I did... er, the employment thing, that is.

When I was 15 I landed my first job washing dishes at this place, and I subsequently became a soda jerk, dreaming of one day landing a coveted server position where I might provide my guests with an actual greeting. I didn't get that far, mainly because of a terrible manager who set the standard for poor customer service. Unfortunately, it seems like the ghost of the old bastard, Mike, still haunts the place.

This is a good solid place.  Sure, the menu is far from fancy, but they have good basics and really great malts.  The atmosphere is what really makes the place great though.  It's unique and welcoming all at once, which is nice in a time of chain restaurants.  When you walk in, you feel like you're in a quaint yet fun atmosphere.  A piano player plays tunes as you eat, and it's decorated really nicely.  Kids are happy because it's very kid friendly, and adults are happy as well since they can relax and enjoy a decent meal without worrying whether their kids are acting up too much for the place.