This place is a must see if you are in Tucson. Â It was named one of the top dive bars in the country. Â You'll see the owner who is named "God" in the bar on a daily basis. Â Ask him to give you a tour of his bar and have your girlfriend buy a condom from the girls bathroom. Â This is a true dive bar in every sense of the word. Â Bottom shelf liquor and rine beer but the place is great. Â Also God cooks up one of the Best burgers in Tucson. Â If your feeling adventurous ask God to show you his "Book of Brands"
Review Source:Let's get this part out of the way...I was a little nervous to go to the Meet Rack. Every review I read created a bit more of a daunting image of this super kitschy, super local dive bar.
We were attending a show at the Executive Inn a stone's throw from TMR and had heard this was an amazing little place to discover. Apparently, God presided.
You drive up to the unassuming bar layered in bright yellow paint...God's Gremlin parked right in front (see pic). We amble around to the side door and walk in to a typical dive bar. Not nearly as seedy and unseemly as I had thought it would be. Bras hanging from the ceiling, a giant oak bar, and a handful of 20-something male hipsters holding up one corner.
We found a table back by the pool table, and apparently unmarked restrooms (save the picture of a womans derrier as marker.) I approached the bar and asked for a Fat Tire. (First mistake)...to which I was informed "No, but we have Pabst!" Realizing I wasn't in Kansas anymore I settled for a Heineken ($4) and loped back to my table. My friends had a gin & tonic, tequilla & grapefruit juice, and a Pabst respectively.
The place was pretty dead. And God didn't make an appearance until a few minutes before we left. And didn't really say anything to us, much to my dismay. I love a good chat with a character.
All in all...a rather tame experience at a place with a big rep. I would definitely revisit TMR. Maybe a bit later to see it in full swing.
Ahhh, the good 'ol Meet Rack. Â If you're bar hopping, you might want to make this your last stop of the night. Â The words "clean" and "Meet Rack" have never been in the same sentence so it might be better if you were looking at this place through beer goggles, its MUCH more entertaining than if you're sober. Â God is the owner, so you know its good place, right?
Review Source:This is a review truly based on the Meet Rack for what it is. A great dive bar. Honestly if you are thinking about taking your future in laws out for a drink it may not be the venue. But if my future in-laws couldn't appreciate The Meet Rack I probably wouldn't want them. The place has so much to it you can never have a bad time. I mean the owner " God" Â brands people with a picture of his face for cheaper drinks....he has pictures of Arnold at a young age doing interesting things in his bar and if someone buys a certain rubber made product in the womens room bells go off to the whole bar... Who would't wanna experience this place.
Review Source:Turns out Atheists are wrong, and God does exist! The proof is at The Meet Rack, where God--a stumpy, bald senior citizen with a white beard and incongruously large muscles--mans the modest bar, where pitchers of flat PBR are available for a handful of change.
As you'd expect, every aspect of the joint is unique, perhaps because any other bar trying to ape the style would be shut down by police, Christians, the Arizona Department of Health, and people who fear the raunchy. The walls are lovingly adorned with thousands of crotch shot Polaroids, breasts, and bras of unknown origin. A nice touch is the condom machine in the women's bathroom, hooked up to an alarm system that rings throughout the bar every time a condom is purchased. Also, the jukebox is fully functional but unlabeled, so every song that's played is a surprise to the quarter dropper.
The place was basically empty when we went, so God happily gave us a tour of The Meet Rack's unseen rooms. I won't spoil the mystery, but there's a room chocked full of bondage gear (some of it quite sophisticated), a filthy bedroom with pictures of unspeakable corruption, and a car with testicles. It turns out God is actually surprisingly un-creepy, and he has a sense of humor about the whole thing.
It's cheap and original, which alone makes it worthy of a visit. It's also fucking disgusting in an endearing way, so leave your snooty morals at home and embrace this palace of pubes and sexual darkness.
Oh boy, the Meet Rack. This place is a novelty with pretty tasty (though interestingly named) drinks. God, the bartender, has completely outdone himself in pushing the boundaries. Pictures of naked women line the walls, bras hang from the ceilings, and then there's God, always looking very pleased with himself. Grab a cocktail and take the tour!
Mother of dives.
Wow, how do I begin?  This is the most interesting bar I have ever been to.  The owner, God, is always hanging out at the bar ready to give you a tour.  The tour shows you around the sex rooms, explains the many interesting photos on the wall, and best of all the women's rest rooms.  If you try to use the condom machine a buzzer and light will go off in the bar and when you walk out of the door everyone yells  slut or whore at you!  They have a list of dirty drinks and you can get branded by God for discount drinks for life.  The service was great, as long as you don't mind super dirty jokes.  We loved this place, the best bar we went to in Tucson.
Review Source:You know I'll go all out and be brutally honest here.
I've seen the world, I've been to countless questionable establishments in my life and had more experiences that should have wound up on the movie screen rather than in my memories.
This place grossed me the hell out, and I'm talking the "I've been to those kind of places in 3rd world countires" type of talk when I say that...no really, I really have.
I literally felt as if I was catching an STD half way through the tour, which if you read the other reviews, is quite interesting but sadly unimpressive compared to modern day 'oh my god' factors (i.e. 2 girls 1 cup).
Don't google that, seriously.
The beer is cold and cheap and it really is a one time must see kind of place. It really is true that the desert does strange things to people -as only Tucson with it's dusty lonesome deserted feel- would one go mad enough to put together an establishment like this.
This is America's greatest Dive Bar ever!. I heard the many stories trying to describe God and his fine establishment....home. This guy is effing nuts. When I first walked in I wondered who the fat guy dressed like a gym teacher was. Come to find out his name is God and he is not only the owner but the local pervert, sex addict, dungeon master and Army vet. I'm not entirely sure if the man does much of anything except sit on the couch in the corner and give tours to the patrons whom have never had such an opportunity to come here. The walls are adorned with hundreds of photos of naked women, God posing with celebrities, and everything in between. His sex dungeon includes a sex swing a gyno table and multiple toys. The jokes that come complimentary with the tour are as racy as they get and will leave any hard christian or just introverted human being disgusted. Just my type of place. The patio is incredible. A concrete beer pong table with a throne sitting high above the patio so the king of the night can look at the peasant's below.
The drinks are great and given names to only compliment the foul* nature of the bar. They have so many different concoctions, all are written down in a book that your face is glued to, wanting to find your next drink. By far and hands down the greatest part of coming here is hoping and praying that some unsuspecting girl will enter the ladies room to buy a condom. When this happens a red old school cop siren will start flashing and making an incredibly loud noise. The next step (and the best) is when the female emerges the bartender and all the locals will yell SKANK!!!!! and the bartender will take a stick and slam a huge Asian Gong. I mean how incredibly EPIC is that?!?!?! I laughed so hard I almost pissed everywhere. So to end all this. If you are looking for an incredibly divey yet very non hostile bar. Than this is the place to come.
this fine establishment rendered me speechless. which, if you read my previous 20 or so reviews, you will (and rightly should) conclude is incredibly difficult to do. i have a lot of words.
there are simply no cohesive sentences to describe this watering hole. instead, i opt for a string of completely random, somewhat related (if you've been there you will see the connections), probably positive adjectives and nouns. and i'm giving it five stars for its sheer ability to exist in the world. really.
-photo albums.... boobs? lots of them?
-God.
-God's car.
-God's car's balls.
-the fact that God actually, legally, legitimately changed his name to God
-"professional drunks"
-patty melts? that smelled salivatory? (i made that word up. i do this often when real words fail me.)
-human suspension hooks
-pastel paintings
-100% cash
-The Tour.
-the look on my parents' faces when i told them i was going here
-PITCHERS.
-jello shots, body shots. seriously, they probably administer flu shots in the back room.
-penises. everywhere.
-bras. also everywhere.
okay. i think i hit all the high (low?) notes. if i think of any other beautiful clauses to describe this rathskellar, i will promptly edit this gem of a review. until then, you can find me telling everyone i know that i met God, and that he resembles the caucasian lovechild of fu manchu and mr. miyagi. in flannel.
shalom.
Very cool place! Â It is not your average bar. Â After the 4th time I visited I noticed the hoard of bras hanging over the bar area. Â Also, If you get there after 11pm you'll have to wrestle your pitcher away from another drinker because there aren't enough to go around but it's a good way to meet people.
What I really like about this place is the patio. Â They have a ping pong table, a picnic table and a concrete throne that is all enclosed.
Drink recommendation: order the F**K you, Bobby! Â It's very tasty!
First rule of the Meet Rack: Leave your judgment at the door and just relax. This place is a plethora of ridiculousness which can offer you a night of hilarious inappropriateness.
I don't want to ruin the tour (given by the owner nightly) for you by giving you all the juicy insider details, but here are a few tid bits to get you through the door. (Or possibly keep you from coming in depending on your tolerance level)
-The owner lives in the bar and has legally changed his name to God. See pictures in the Yelp profile for more detail.
-They serve drinks in mini pitchers so don't expect a crystal martini glass good for sticking out your pinky.
-The bartenders are AWESOME! (They are also crude, but don't be offended, because it only makes it worse.)
-The stuff covering the walls sends Chili's and Applebee's running for the hills.
-Bring CASH! There is no ATM on site and they will direct you to one at a gas station down the block, so just come prepared.
-Be sure you get the tour from God. He will fill you in on the sordid details around the bar and possibly throw a free keychain your way. Â
In a nutshell, this place is one of my favorite dive bars to hit when I am in Tucson. It offers a great time if you have an open mind. My suggestion is to take a group with you to enjoy the experience together.
Even just the thought of the Meet Rack makes me smile and laugh inside. Holy hell. I thought places like this only existed in the movies (see: Euro Trip) but alas! We have our own original right here in Tucson.
As a freshman in college this was the place you could get by with "peculiar" identification, not sure if that has changed by now but there still seems to be the same atmosphere. Everyone who goes to the Meet Rack is there to have a great time. Whether or not they remember it the next morning is up for debate. I had the bartender make me "something delicious" and I'll admit, whatever strawberry juiced concoction she presented to me was, in fact, delicious. Â This place is just fantastic, you can read the other reviews or better yet, make a visit, to see exactly what I'm talking about.
Be prepared- debauchery will be coming up. The pictures and the reviews really don't prepare you for what you see when you go in there. First off there are pics everywhere- some a little worse than others. There are pics of the from govenator is come compromising positions. The drink list is very original and definitely meant to get a rise out.... Literally.
The bathroom is interesting but do not touch the condom machine because you will be throughly embarrassed by the lights, sounds, and bartenders yelling nasty things at you when you come out.
Owner is weird and a little creepy, calls himself god and will brand people with a pic of his face. He actually lives in the bar- has a bedroom right off the bar room.
Ask to go on the tour and you will see crazy things like a bondage room with a spin wheel, a swing, and etc. Wow! On the tour he tells you about everything within the bar and all the newspaper articles also give you information which is nice to know. Definitely an experience that you have to see when you come to Tucson. Just be prepared.
A quick cut and paste for my review;
I can't really say anything that hasn't been said a zillion times before about this place, but I'll summarize all the same.
1. Take the tour.
2. Cheap drinks.
3. Enjoy the hilarity.
I agree 100 percent!
Now I add; There is a sign that says something like "Guaranteed to offend". And if you are uptight, (or so) you will be offended by at least something! I myself, just laughed. What I did notice was everyone there seemed to be having...A GREAT TIME. nO PRETENSION at all from employees or customers. Lots of fun! I recommend a visit. Ya gotta go at least once!
We saw TWO people get branded!
I truly adore this place, and have been a plethora of times and recommend it to friends. I can't really say anything that hasn't been said a zillion times before about this place, but I'll summarize all the same.
1. Take the tour.
2. Cheap drinks.
3. Enjoy the hilarity.
I've had a handful of conversations with God himself, and he never disappoints with his jokes, tricks and other tomfoolery.
This bar is an experience. I even got branded. God says a lot of pretty questionable shit, but it kind of adds to the charm.
The jukebox has no song titles or artists listed, so whatever is played is always REALLY random. I've heard everything from The Misfits to military marches.
Hands down, the diviest bar in the southwest. Fuck yeah.
I've been wanting to visit this place for about 4 years now and never made it while I was in tucson. Finally I got to visit and this is one of those places that everyone should experience at least once in their life. Relics like this don't last forever, because when the proprieter dies, it's over.
Jim Anderson, or God, as he would have it, is one of the craziest and most likable people I have ever met. Pulling up to this bar, I wondered if it was still in business, and walked in through the door anyway. There was a guy sitting on the couch watching TV, who asked me if I was there to party, to which my reply was yes. He turned the TV off and offered us a tour of the joint. At first I thought it was just a dive bar with a bored bartender, and he let us know there was more than meets the eye and boy was he right......
The tour starts with a bondage room, complete with a obgyn chair, a swing, a wheel, and some other very interesting fixtures. He explains, in detail, how each item is used. Being the only ones in the bar, we began to get a little uneasy at this point. Next, the tour moves to all of the pictures (easily thousands) all over the bar. This man has done everything... movies, traveled the world, hung with celebrities, you name it. He even gave a free drink to a kid who just got out of rehab. He literally is the most interesting person I've ever met, he lived his life to the fullest... ran for mayor, almost had his class 6 license revoked for hanging out in his home *ahem* bar naked.
He lives at the bar. LIVES THERE, it's every man's wet dream. Go here to see Jim... the stories and tour are well worth the price of admission, which cost us a $6 PBR pitcher.
Awesome place. Had my after party after the official wedding reception party here. Bring a big group and they will definitely take care of you.
If you are looking for god, he will ruin your life. But at least you'll have a stiff drink in your hand.
This is a place to find everything in life, because it has it all... literally!
The true grit of Tucson exists at the Meet Rack, a bar and well... interesting establishment.
This place is not for the meek, don't believe me, then ask the bartender to pour you a beer (PBR is the only thing on tap) and inquire about the tour... yes this tiny bar has even more to offer then you see by walking in.
One can only glint certain things about this place until the they have experienced the Meet Rack. Â The real question is: Do you really want to know the secrets of Tucson's most divey dive bar?... If you do, the owner, who has legally changed his name to God, is ready to share... and brand you if you are so inclined.
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Panties hanging over the bar. I watched news articles printed showing California's Governor stick his fingers up... yeah. All those moments will never be lost unlike time...
The Meet Rack. I'm not sure how to best describe it. Let's just say it was the creepiest and most scariest bar I have ever been in my life.. and I'm more than happy to go again if I'm ever in Tucson.
It's madness. Take the beer special. It's PBR in a little pitcher. Now, this isn't the "ironic" hipster PBR type of joint. This is the type of PBR joint that would scare the shit out of a hipster if he ever walked in here.
The bar owner, GOD - Yes, that's right. You answer to God when you come here is a mad man. Has a very prominent looking wired mustache that makes him look like a villain from a 1920's silent movie. His face is pretty recognizable. So let's say you want PBR for $3 a pitcher for life. You have to get God's face branded on you. Yes, that's right. Branded.
I'll pay the extra buck or two, You can ask for the tour of the place and well.. you'll probably want to run or drink heavily after it. He shows you old pictures of him and California Governor Arnold hanging out and.. well, with Arnold having a good ol' time taking the temperature of some lady friend of his...
Oh, it gets worse. The sex room. Which, while I've never been to an OB/GYN, he has the typical chair you would find. Yeah.. it's scary and he'll explain that there has been many piercings and well, you'd probably want to wash your hands after standing in there.
Which.... leads God to the bathroom tour. Now he allows people to go in there and this one would be a good thing to know. In the ladies restroom there's a condom machine that is attached to a beer at the bar. If someone buys a condom it sets off the bell/alarm. So when the person comes out of the restroom, everyone knows who has sex on the mind...
Once you get past all that, you find that the place has some charm. In that, you're pretty much in the strangest place on earth and you're lowering your inhibitions.. Why god, why?! That's like throwing blood in shark infested waters.
Get out while the getting is good! Or stay and have a sense of humor. This place, while insanely misogynistic, creepy and down right out not meant for this world will be a place that you will remember forever. Be it from the memories or from the Key chain with God's face on it saying "In God we Trust"
I'm usually the one that does the creeping, so I was shocked to find this place had the power to creep me out. The owner, God, yeah that's his legal name, is the maestro de creepiness. He drives around a car with nutsacks hanging from the rear end and the words 'aunt eater' sprawled on the back window. He will gladly show you his sex room while messaging his long wire mustache.
Beer is pretty cheap and they have ping pong and other things to do there. Lots of pictures from the better days the place has seen are all over the walls.
You can get branded by god to get free drinks. Extreme. You kind of have to experience this place yourself.
After a long day out in Tucson, and a lot of activity, my wife and I found ourselves in the car with our great friend ( <a href="/redir?url=http%3A%2F%2Fquiteunsure.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F09%2Fmy-friend-eggs.html&s=dd758a60245c00b18a85c648bb420fa41c87ce0a7503bc4de97159ec55891b03" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://quiteunsure.blogs…</a> ).
"Oh wait! Â Wait, wait... Â I know where we have to go... Â Just trust me on this..." Â It came so suddenly and startled us both. Â The car ride up to that point consisted of him gabbing on about some of the history of the seedy neighborhood we were just passing through (I believe we were traveling south on Oracle- No Tell Motel anyone?). Â He raced his pick up across three lanes of traffic to make sure he could make the left turn onto Drachman. Â All the while chuckling to himself.
Passing up where he obviously wanted to go, he looked for an appropriate spot to pull into in order to back track down Drachman. Â "Not here. Â I don't want those pushers thinking I am buying tonight," he said as we pass a very sketchy motel with about four clockers holding down shop out of one of the motel units right next to the drive way.
So we find our appropriate and safe U-turn, and make our way back to a place that can only be described as a dive bar from the outside. Â Except for the fact that there is an obviously strange looking yellow Ford Festiva parked outside with some weird decals on the back, and a giant sized scrotum hanging from where a trailer hitch would normally reside (as if a tiny Ford Festiva would be able to haul anything more than a child's sled behind it).
Warning: a fake scrotum hanging from a silly looking car was tame in comparison to what awaited us inside (and hopefully what I will be able to describe). Â If you are squeamish to the thoughts of drunkenness, debauchery, or more likely- drunken debauchery- you might want to read elsewhere....
For what we found was God's personal playground. Â His heaven on earth. Â Nicely tucked away in that rough part of town is a place where you can find God and hear straight from his lips "I will ruin your life."
You may not know this, but God's real name is Jim. Â Jim, aka- God, used to box professionally, and evidence of these fights are plastered all over the walls... Â Amongst other things. Â You see, this place is like a museum of God's perversions. Â
My friend very quickly introduced us as friends from Chicago and ones that are interested in the "full tour." Â This was where things got jaw dropping, and where my friend took the liberty of assuming that although he didn't know my wife all that well, that she wouldn't get offended at anything we were about to see (she did NOT by the way... but I guess I did...).
On the tour you will see the following:
- A locked room full of sex toys, and customized sexual apparatus's that are used by God and his harem of lady followers (hundreds of them).
- Pictures everywhere of dubious and what many would call shameful public sex acts from the above referenced sex room- carefully narrated by God himself (more on the "celebrity" sightings to follow).
- A wall of shame of sorts in which people bring in their AA chips showing off just how long they have been sober. Â These chips have been turned in to God, in return for one, half-priced drink from the bar. Â There were MANY of them, including a few 5 year chips. Â Please note- this to me was where I became offended.
- A rigged condom machine in the ladies bathroom that automatically set off a very loud alarm system throughout the bar any time one was bought.
- Last, but certainly not least, a branding iron that has been used over 1650 times to date on humans who come into The Meet Rack and ask God to brand an image of his face somewhere on their body. Â That is right- a branding iron... Â As in what farmers do to their cattle to ensure they can keep track of them. Â And yes, it has happened over 1650 times to date. Â What does this get you? Â Half-priced drinks for life.
Oh, and pictures of his friends too. Â
Friends like Sean Hannity.  You know him- that far-right leaning ass bag blow hard on Fox News who likes to spout off about the downfall of American morality and power.  And the second most photographed person in the place (behind God himself, of course)- The Govinator, Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Sure, those really are pictures of Arnold using his fingers to "check the temperature" of a young college coed. <a href="/redir?url=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm1.static.flickr.com%2F45%2F116224146_ca84d89e85.jpg&s=3ca1d7d386c0fd43046b32a7a8f39fc7a0caf361958d0e07389bcf45f423640d" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://farm1.static.flic…</a>
Amazing "historical" photographs all around! Â Ask for the tour...
You haven't lived until you have had God himself point across a series of pictures, telling you "here is a picture of me and Sugar Ray Leonard in 1982, and this one of me having a shot with Sean Hannity in 1999, and here is a dog boinking a pig, and this picture is me with my daughter and..."
The End
The only thing I can say for sure:
this one is HARD to rate.
And I was more than taken aback after my 'visit'.
Because you just don't 'go' there; you take a tour of the place. I guess you can even go on pilgrimage.....God lives there, after all.
We were driving down Miracle Mile when Derek suddenly exclaimed: "I know where I have to take you guys!!! Trust me you've seen nothing like it before" and took a sharp left turn.
There is no sign. Just God's car to indicate that The Meet Rack is there and nowhere else.
The bar is empty. God is there, elbows on the counter. Big white beard, tattoos everywhere and a clear shaved head.
A gut that would fails to reveal the daily runner in him.
We order a pitcher of PBR and ask for a tour.
And there it starts, a litany of half-mumbled words while he walks us back to the entrance to show us some special memorabilia on his Wall of Fame: a beaming Arnold Schwarzenneger in a very compromising situation with a young lady, a dog 'involved' with a pig, etc.
Then he opens the door of the 'torture room'.
Filled with sex toys and accessories only imagined by the Marquis de Sade, it is destined to some of the bar's female customers who come to be 'felt up' by the owner.
Not as disturbing as the 'branding' tradition....people who accept to be branded with God's face on any part of their body can drink in the house for half price.
More than 1200 did it.
Yeah....I told you....
It's the epitome of the dive bar, with a sick twist. But everybody comes here willingly. God is just there to crop and thrive on their own psychosis.
Drinks are cheap, there is a terrace and endless entertainment even for the sane spirited among us.
Oh - one last word of advice: Ladies - don't use the vending machine in the bathrooms.....it's a whole other show.
This is by far one of my most FAVORITE bars from college. For the most part...Let me break it down for you...
1. Sex Room, with full on wheel, swings and a twin bed. You'll get a tour from the owner if your lucky.... is this illegal?
2. Bra's hanging from the ceiling.
3. Branding (like what they do to cattle)...to which you get free drinks for life if you let them do it.
4. Rolodex of their drink specials...all aptly named after raunchy sex positions or other...try the bloody tampon...
5. Condom machine in the bathrooms. When you buy one, it sends something to bar tender letting him know one was purchased and when you walkout, they shine a spotlight on you, ring a bell and play Cherry Pie.
6. Foods not half bad either. Â Just sayin....
7. The owner (named God...he had his name legally changed) He also ran for mayor of Tucson in the 80s. Tells dirty jokes. My personal favorite. "What's pink and smells like fish"...give up? He then points to his tongue. Yep! That's the owner kids!!!
Oh Tucson, how I love you and your strange beings... this place is wrong in every sense of the word, but an absolute must!
Good times.
Someone without a personality and/or sense of humor would rate this place less than 3 stars.
I have been here several times because whenever I have visitors come into town, this is where I would take them. Yes, most of the guests I have taken there have been male, but I think anyone could get a kick out of this place. You can't really call this place a bar because the drinks are so cheap (small pitcher of jack and coke for $5). I would say this place is more of a museum. Â There really is so much to see at this place.
Ask for the tour, and God will show you around. What I find amusing is that while everyone is blushing and giggling during the tour, God isn't playing around. He really is serious about what he is telling or showing you!
I hate giving too much away, so stop by and see for yourself!
Hell yeah its as good as it gets... as far as insanely creepy, shady, disturbing dive bars go! I mean, in that category, Meet is at the top of the list for sure!
Every Yelp review is pretty spot on:
Jeff K said its "traumatizing"
Adam D said its "probably the most illegal building in the southwest"
Lauren B probably had the best summary when she said,
"Ping Pong!
Mini Pitchers!
Misogynist men named God!"
Might I add to that my own summary:
Sex Dungeon
Dildo Drinks
The Bible with Traumatizing Drink Names I Cannot Repeat
Branding
Key Chain
Inexplicable Toilet Seat Attached to Wall
God's Throne
Can't say I'd be in again as it did take me a good few days to get over the experience (I took the grand tour). However, so worth the trip if you ever find yourself in the back streets of Tucson!
this is probably the most illegal building in the southwest.
pros: cheap beer, free keychain.
cons: they ONLY have well drinks, which are $4, which is on the high end in tucson bars, especially if the place is in a shitty area of town and the bar itself is the american equivalent of the meeting place of antonio banderas and steve buscemi in desperado. you're pretty much forced to get a small pitcher of a mixed drink, Â which seems like a good deal but is really just a double well drink for $9. the bartenders are also either hit or miss as they assume you're retarded, which if you're in this bar you probably are as they cater to fake ids and incest.
however, if i wanted to play ping pong outdoors while getting blacked out in the afternoon and enjoyed places w/o windows this is where i would go.
This place is traumatizing. It feels like the beginning of Devil's Reject's, and that was a little nerve racking. When you go there, then leave for a good week or so, expect to experience Stolkhome's syndrome first hand. The owner's name is GOD. He is your captor! I got the grand tour from GOD, and frankly I was sober, so it disturb the shit out of me. Sex room/branding station, do I need to say more. My lesbian friend got a kick out of it though. When I got back in Los Angeles for about a week later I wished there was a place like this here.
Review Source:By far the best dive bar I have ever been to. All well liquor, and only 2 beers on tap, but thats a dive bar for you. They've got a pretty mean book of mixed drinks to choose from.
If you go with friends, be sure to ask God to take you on a tour! Its a must see. You never know what could happen at the Meet Rack, but its always a good time. Great to bring a group of friends to start out (or finish) the night. God is an awesome person to sit down and chat with for a while. The next time you go back you may even see pictures of yourself in their photo albums. Definitely my favorite place in Tucson.
This is the definitive dive bar whose clever motto (among many) is "Liquor Where She Likes It." Â Here's a quick overview:
-Free Drinks for Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Members
-GOD: the Rack's "Consultant" and Resident Badass
-Get branded with God's face and receive...50 cents off drinks for life! (What a deal!)
-Girls who buy condoms in the bathroom exit to bells ringing, cheers and applause
-A family-friendly atmosphere with: bras on the ceiling, compromising pictures of celebrities on the wall (Arnold Schwarzenegger checking a girl's temperature and giving God his "Change" is a favorite), the mystery jukebox, bartenders telling tasteless jokes...I could go on and on...
- The Meet Rack only stocks cheap booze and cold, tasteless beer, like a true dive bar should.
-Oh yeah, order a Jack the Ripper, my favorite drink...mostly because it's only one dollar
If you're in Tucson, make sure to stop in...even after my 4+ years in T-Town, the novelty never wore off and the place became a favorite destination. Â First timers, be sure to ask for the tour!
I first saw God on Halloween a few years ago. Â I later saw him on my 22nd birthday. Â God is a good man who will take you on tours of the bar, places that seem a little out of place in the "house of God", like the kinky sex room, the bathroom that alerts everyone in the bar that you are buying a condom, and of course, the throne of God.
I vaguely remember eating a burger from here and thinking it was the best thing I have ever tasted. Â I was also about 6 shots deep, but I swear, that thing was AMAZING and most likely contained salmonella. Â But I'm still alive, so screw it.
Due to Aaron's review and some other "in the know" locals in the AZ, I decided to bring my brother and his girlfriend to experience God and his tour. The bartender there was really friendly and I realized after drinking my PBR on tap that we were the only two ladies in the joint (besides the bartendress...and a woman laying on a couch behind me). Rather early in the evening, the bar was dominated by older men and guys with long hair and longer beards. The tour was given by a jolly fuckin IN SHAPE God with a Dali-esque mustache. Highlights include:
-The Govern-ator checking the temperature of a waitress...via 'finger in genitalia'
- The pleasure room where a woman is not allowed to be kissed above the waist..unless upside down.
- The God's beautiful gem encrusted cock ring (not what you think)
- An alarm and light that goes off when you buy a condom in the ladie's room
- A throne in the back patio
Especially, the endless amounts of photo and memorabalia slapped all over the bar...and of course, the rainbow of bras hanging from the ceiling.
I highly recommend this place...if only for the branding.
Sleazy as hell. On a photoshoot, "God" once showed me the backroom. Two words, bondage playground. Anyhow, some guy, his bestfriend and his girlfriend came in for a little fun and I ended up photographing their tie me up, tie me down threesome. Just for making it one of the more unique nights of my life, I'm giving it 5 stars!
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