The Palms

i wuz there

dont really remember much

but i wuz there

The Palms is a great experiment. Swimming pools, dancing, booze, food trucks, and a low maintenance attitude is a guaranteed success.

The indoor area is an old bank converted into a club. The bar itself is the old bank teller counter. The safe has been converted into a retail shop where they sell t-shirts, shades, old school Super Soakers, rubber duckies, and any other silly items that one may find handy for a pop-up pool party. There are two floors of music playing eclectic mixes of hip-hop and pop music.

The basement floor reminded me of the 90's in places like the Tunnel (see how I just aged myself there?). The basement was mostly pitch black with only fun strobe lights to guide you while you dance up a sweat storm due to the lack of any air conditioning down there.

As for the outdoor lot...

The dumpster pools (yes dumpster pools) are great! Granted I haven't swam in them, but they're totally refurbished and look sanitary (that is till everyone's sweaty juices corrode them). There lot is adorned with beach chairs, ping pong tables, and even hammocks (that conveniently masked you from the crowd when closed up, perfect for hammocky debauchery). There's another bar out in the lot as well. The food trucks are also stationed here as well.

The crowd is pretty varied, but a bit more "hipster". Like a mish mosh of the young residents that adorn the east rive outer borough neighborhoods. Everyone is here to have a good time, and that is all. Pretension is out the door.

A BIG 1 star minus because of the restrooms/porto-potties/Chernobyl are beyond anything I have ever experience in my lifetime of toilet experience. Step anywhere near the area and the rancid smell will have you hurling. Opt for the deli across the street next to Dominos.

The Palms is a party, and nothing more. It's a party that allows me to remember a time when clubbing in NY was all about dancing and the unpredictable. It's loud, raunchy, and a little bit nuts.

One star is deducted for the stiff cover.

We arrived around 7pm on Saturday night and ready to go for a swim in the dumpster pools. Yep, that's right. Dumpster pools in a parking lot in LIC. You gotta love NYC.

There are three pools and they were all very clean. They also had a few pool toys to play with and played we did! There was a two-headed snake and also an alligator. It was very hard to mount the alligator in the water. I was quite sore the next day. I laughed a whole lot.

The drinks were pretty lame. $7 for water-down sangria and $7 glasses of wine. Yucko.

The port-a-pottys were pretty scary and one guy was freaking out about the toilets, he kept asking people to squirt his hands with Ed Hardy sanitizer. You have got to love OCD hipsters.

The music was actually very good. I was definitely catching the dancing bug.

I'll be back before the season ends to dive into the dumpster pools again! Come join me and let's try to tame the Loch Ness monster!