This place is great for a local bar.. I've heard bad things about this place in the past, but was told there's now new ownership. We came down for a friends birthday and had a blast! Very chill environment with friendly bartenders. A comfortable place to kick it and even dance. There's a little something for everyone! I don't ever take the time to write a review on anything but had such a great time and actually got to talk with the new owner and he was so cool I figured I would share. :)
Review Source:Went here for a friends birthday. Everything was good until douche bag security started shit for literally no reason. There's nothing more annoying than having fun and spending money on an establishment only for them to treat you like shit. I guess they can't handle seeing a beautiful girl that they can't have having a good time so they gotta start shit in an attempt to make you feel miserable like them. These insecure ass guys must really hate their lives since they gotta start shit with females instead of picking a fight with a guy. And lastly, I really don't understand this place. It's a BAR for crying out loud but security acts like it's some damn top notch Vegas club. Gtfoh! Long story short, I will not be coming to this place again!
*EDIT*
If you actually took the time to read the review instead of being so focused on a comeback, you would realize I said the same thing! Spankys is in Castro Valley NOT Vegas so as I've previously stated, get the fuck over yourselves! All the new hardwood floors and revamping doesn't change the fact your establishment sucks. Instead of focusing on remodeling your business, focus on changing your attitude. This is the problem with simple minded people. Haters this, haters that. Blah blah blah. Funny how I've never been treated poorly anywhere else except at your business. So who's the real "hater" now? And all those harassing private messages? LOL. Thanks for proving who the real hater is :)
MR S.
Block User
5 hours ago
WOW!!!! your just an unhappy person all around. maybe you should stay home from now on. unless your not wanted @ home cuz you gave um a bad review on Yelp!!!!! now thats funny.
Anna F. 2 hours ago
Aww you took the time to make an account just to reply to my review. Now that's funny!
MR S.
Block User
One hour ago
Only cuz I couldnt find you on Craigslist..........
MR S.
Block User
One hour ago
Hey whos bday was it the day you went ???? cuz i was there all night and I never saw any pretty girls ALL NIGHT!!!!???? Â bunch of butchie lookin girly dudes was only party...... OOOOOHHHH SNAP !!!! SORRY .
Anna F. One hour ago
Aww someones feelings are apparently hurt. Sorry. Didn't mean to bruise your ego.
Anna F. One hour ago
Picking fights with females instead of men. Now that's what you call a girly dude. You must be an unhappy person all around OOOOOOOH SNAP SORRY!!!!!!
MR S.
Block User
One hour ago
sorry about that I barely looked @ picture and at 1st glance you look like a guy. My bad im sure you get that all the time. ya know for a small man you sure do argue like a girl........ im sure you get that alot as well. Wait  arent you from the lickalotapuss tribe.
Anna F. 56 minutes ago
ya know for a man you sure do argue like a girl im sure you get that alot as well
MR S.
Block User
37 minutes ago
awwwhhhh your having a idenity crisis arent you. Im sure youll figure it out someday . well im going to go to other stuff now. like have a life. I only got on yelp to give you a bad time. but as i can see from your reviews about your skin probs im  pretty sure your use too it by now. try proactive it might help or maybe let some dude blow a load on your face once inawhile. who am i kidding thats a mug only your dads could love. lol
MR S.
Block User
34 minutes ago
i still want too know who you thought was the pretty girl ??????? LMFAO!!!!
Anna F. 29 minutes ago
So if you remember correctly from my review of your establishment "insecure ass guys must really hate their lives since they gotta start shit with females instead of picking a fight with a guy." LMFAO thanks for proving me right :)
Anna F. 26 minutes ago
At least I have a picture of myself on Yelp. Where's yours? Having an identity crisis???
Haters gonna hate, right? The only hater is you! So please instead of focusing your time and energy hating on me, you should focus on figuring out how to properly run a business as your business is failing (and it's obvious why). Check the rating distribution. Now I see why you're so miserable and insecure and I'm sorry you're so bothered by my confidence that in order to feel better about yourself, you need to down talk a female to raise your self-esteem. Poor guy you must have a small dick. And yes, despite having issues with ACNE, I still have CONFIDENCE. You mad? Take that hate "some other place and see what you get away with." You'll most likely end up with a blow to the face.
Spanky's is my fav place to drink! With excellent drinks, 3 pool tables, beer pong, darts, and a photo booth/ jukebox for a $1 you can't loose. The price is right! The mix of old bartenders with the new ones, makes a good, friendly, trained bartenders making the experience fun. The patrons can be colorful at times, but bars attract all sorts of randomness. Fridays and Saturdays now have Djs and Sundays is a pool tournament which was good times. SPANKY'S has New Ownership and has made a consistent, positive change visually and in the vibe you get from your experience. I stopped going to Spanky's for a long time and decided to give it another chance because of new ownership and I'm really glad I did. It's a place everyone should try again or for the first time if you like to drink and have fun!
Review Source:Screw Spanky's. Â everyone thinks they are some thug tough guy that goes there. Â I find it funny, but not funny enough to go back. Â And all you fucks at Spanky's, stay at Spanky's and don't spread your poison to other local bars. Â No one wants your business. Â Some people actually go to bars to kick back and have conversation and maybe shoot a game of pool. Â Not eveyone has some type of complex and want to fight the first dude that looks cross eyed at them. Â Pussies, stay at Spanky's.
Review Source:Went here for a friends birthday there was a group of about 15 of us everyone had a great time and everything was fine until closing the security was fighting with a friend of mine and was talking to some guys in a car outside the bar and they were hassling my friend big men talking trash to a girl! The security was also telling her to shut up unprofessional and rude if ur working u shouldn't be talking to customers the way they were talking to her!
Review Source:We, at Spanky', would like to give a big heads up to all new and old patrons that visit us......we have had a recent turn around for bartenders and are still in the process of training. To all who know the "long time" bartenders, we do our best to give you the fastest and best service possible. It can be difficult on the busier nights, while working with the "new" bartenders. All of us at Spankys appreciate your patience in this time of transition. Please feel free to let myself Or Shane know about any concerns that you may have and we will do our best to approach them.
On a side note: our security is present for your safety and the safety of others (as well as us bartenders) According to California state law you are not even allowed to walk the streets without proper ID....so when you get carded ( and EVERYONE does!!!) please have your ID ready.
We all appreciate your patronage and hope that you join us for our 26 year celebration Sept. 22 from 12pm-2am.
Thanks again for your understanding and we ALL hope to see you soon!
Thanks,
Jess
I first began coming here because a friend of mine was DJing there on thursday nights. We had a blast until people kept getting into fights and such.
Now I only go there when we need a change or if its the most convenient bar around. On my last visit I ordered an Absolut and tonic and was given a drink that tasted more like watered down club soda. I'm pretty sure that there was no tonic water and little if any Absolut. As a bartender, myself, I was very disappointed. We didnt touch our drinks and didn't want to make a fuss, so when the bartender never came back to check on us and just stayed at the other end of the bar chatting with her friends, we decided to just leave.
Honestly, I have never had such a bad experience at Spanky's before, but I don't think that I will be frequenting this bar as its not very close to my home and apparently sometimes some of their bartenders don't pay much attention to their customer's orders.
All in all, its just an average dive bar with sometimes below average service.
Spanky's greets every patron by asking for id's. the premiise is distinguished by signed dollar bills hanging from the ceiling. entertainment is 3 pool tables, video games, and the juke box.
HH: liquor 1/2 off till 8?. beers (3) all day. nothing written. had to ask.
pour: gin tonic(2)
-strong pour
big daddy (3)
-nice cold draft.
on draught:
-bartender spend time wiping down counter, sinks, doesn't converse with patrons.
-bar nearly empty even past 6
-patrons not diverse.
Let me start by saying that it seems like all the low ratings are because people don't rate Spanky's for what it ACTUALLY is: a dive bar! Don't come in here expecting frills and gorgeous people.
With that said, Spanky's is one of my all-time favorite bars. The clientele is local and trashy, and I LOVE that. I've never been harrassed or had a problem with anyone here. The bartender, Keisha, is AMAZING. She's adorable and extremely friendly. Not to mention this place has the BEST happy hour prices. Where else can you get Blue Moon on tap and shots for $2? Especially till 8pm.
Go for happy hour (which is 7 days a week!). Also free pool on Sundays. My only complaint(the reason for only 4 stars), is that they do not sell food! There IS a vending machine, but on a night out drinking, I really want some appetizers!
Honestly, if I could give this place zero stars I would. Â It doesn't even deserve one. Â First off, this place is trying incredibly hard to be nightclub, complete with douchey security standing outside the door. Â Who are you kidding? Â This is castro valley we're talking about. Â The first time I went there, the bouncer took what felt like 5 hours examining my ID. Â Feeling the texture, bending and folding it. Â Blacklight. Â The works. Â C'mon man, I'm 21 and this is not a club in SF. Â Get over yourself. Â
The bartenders I dealt with were cold, unfriendly, and short. Â Very unprofessional. Â At least attempt to show some form of courtesy toward your patrons. Â The bathrooms were also a complete mess.
They've got three pool tables ( although the cues are of poor quality) 2 beer pong tables ( the sole reason this place should get a star) some arcade games and a stripper pole(?)  All I have to say is WHY.  This place is a dive bar not a club  The crowd I've seen there is always some sketch tools.   It is also seems like every time I go in there there is absolutely no room to move... The place isn't that big. Â
Take my word for it, this place completely blows and not worth an ounce of your time
Most of Spank'ys Employees treat the customers like crap owner included! I will not be back. I have never spent that much at a bar and still been carded at the door like a stranger. It's a Dive Bar that tries way to hard to be a club. By that I mean security at the door and big cheesy signs that say "Club Spankys".
Review Source:I've only been here once for a friend's birthday get together and I have to say it's not bad for a divey Castro Valley bar! Drink prices are about right and they have two pool tables that you have to pay for I believe but where are they free to use anyways?! The other thing that sucks is the price for a beer pong table, it's super tiny and not something I would want let me friends get again.
I heat there's a DJ and that it gets really good on friday nights but it's not really my scene, maybe next time a group of friends go I'll tag along.
Spanky's is tight, definitely a dive bar. It's poppin depending on if you go when there's a good DJ playing and it's a Friday or Saturday night...SOMETIMES. The drinks are really cheap, half off everything between 5-8, bartenders are super awesome and will talk to you all night. They have free pool on Sundays which is awesome and they have 2 TVs for baseball and other sports games.
Review Source:So, after reading a slew of these things, I felt the need to say SOMETHING.
Spanky's is your typical, local's often, small dive bar. For all these people expecting to see tons of hot guys and hot girls, I'm not going to say you're in the wrong place, but really, you're not clubbing at some massive, overcrowded and meat-head infested new club - you're going to a local bar where most people just go to hang out and have a couple drinks with friends, play some pool or beer pong (which they have both of) and dance a little bit. If you're expecting some crazy, over-the-top nightclub, best head to Vegas because you won't find much of that in the Bay Area anyways (at least not many that are worth while).
That being said, I've gotten to know a bit of the staff more, and Shane is a top-notch guy who really tries to keep the bar together while still having a little bit of fun. If anyone knew how hard it is to find any place in Castro Valley where the cops don't want to sit outside and harass you when you leave (or even just stand outside for a bit) and can still have fun, you wouldn't waste your time coming on to Yelp! to complain.
I work in multiple bars/nightclubs for my job, and I have been "harassed" the LEAST at Spanky's (this includes Coach's, The Huddle, Kirby's, Mojo Lounge, CJ's - just a few other dive bars to compare - not to mention much larger establishments) and I can tell you if you think a guy telling you you're "pretty" is harassment, you need to grow up. Bars can't entirely control who decides to show up at their location at a given time, and sometimes there can be QUITE the characters that show up at Spanky's, but live a little and learn to deal with it - no one is forcing anyone to be there.
If the drink you want needs to be stronger, ask - the bartenders are very accommodating to what you want (they don't get tips otherwise). Bring a good group with you, or it could get a little slow. However, the people you surround yourself with determine how your attitude will be, and I can say that my experiences at Spanky's (while some nights have been much more fun than others) have been quite enjoyable thus far.
Keep it up guys!
Uhhhggggggg. I can't stand this place but have to admit they pour drinks well. The people who frequent here are not the type of people I like to be around. Douche-tacular trash sprinkled with meth heads. Sad but true.
I only go here when my buddies think this is the only place to take a 21y/o newbie. It's far from true, there are much better dive bars only a short drive away.
Now I don't mind dive bars and I usually have fun wherever I go, but there is something about Spanky's that does not rub me the right way.
My friend insisted on going to this bar so I went there to meet her. Immediately when I get to the front entrance, some drunk guy is babbling away incoherently at me and demands a hug. I refuse and go inside, only to see an army of greasy-haired, sloppy drunk girls and ghetto, pissed off looking guys ...which is understandable because I'd be pissed off too if I was inside Spanky's.
I understand dive bars are meant to be run-down and informal, but I'm not sure what it was. Maybe it was the decor, crowd or the DJ. Nothing felt right. Meh, I've been to better dive bars.
I'm giving this place 3 stars for the place itself because its your typical dirty dive bar, but I would give it 5 stars for my experience! Â I went on a Monday night where they have beerpong! Beerpong at a bar = awesome! They have a special on mondays: Budlight Pitcher for 6 bucks! Def can play 2 games on that! It's actually harder to play because the tables are meant for beerpong where its hard to re-rack and they cups are technically touching. An avid beerponger myself would know. haha JK, i suck. Â Anyways, the bartenders are really coo tool. Â They gave us a deal on a hef pitcher because they ran out of budlight. Come up! Â There's also pool for a dolla. :)
Come with fun people and make it your own. Â I probs wouldn't come on any given day unless it was beerpong monday... (reliving college) hehe.
I dunno I just don't get bars I never ever really go to them but met a friend for a drink the other night after they made this suggestion. It was alright i got my cocktails for half off so that made my random visit worth it I guess. After some chit chat as I was walking out some fugly lookin old dude was trying to get my attention and I was reminded of why I don't go to bars ... But if your in CV and you must grab a drink a stop on Baker road at Spankys may not kill you as long as your not assaulted by weirdo old farts who are all  geared up like they are going to a Raider game and just too darn old to be dressing that way ... ick
2 stars for old dude.
So I just started going to this bar, as i boycotted it since i turned 21, since all i hear about is fights and cops..which is something I'm not wanting to be around.
I've figured out they do half off drinks from 5-8pm at night, at during that time it is EMPTY! Â which is something i like, not a crowd of people, just there to relax, listen to the jukebox and play some pool.
Though, I've been there during the late hours, and all i can say is I'm not a fan. Way too loud of music for such a small space, and a ton of people, very hard to move around.
The 2 pool tables they have are nice, along with some beer pong tables, they're always stocked with alcohol, plus they have a stripper pole and a dance floor area.
The woman's restroom is ok, it is clean though, but only one stall, which is kind of hard since this place is always packed at night.
But i do recommend for the half drinks and quiet time from 5-8pm!
My friends and I went here to celebrate the end of the evening. Â A few hours later we asked the bar back if it was time for last call. Â He said the bar closed at 2am. At the time I asked it was 1:15am. Â By 1:30am the bouncer was walking back and forth trying to force us out. Â We explained that we had just ordered our last drinks. The "manager" a boy named "Joey" told us we were "cunts", " whores" "go back to San Ramon" "I kicked you out leave" and then sprayed us and 6 other patrons with water. Â This was at exactly 1:30am and his clock was 25 min fast. I explained this to him and he said that this was "bar time" and I should "know that". Â He proceeded to cuss out my friends and follow us out of the bar and scream at us until we reached our cab. Â Harassment is not good for business.
I give them no stars actually although Yelp doesn't allow for that. Berkeley is a mere 15 minute drive and the quality of people there is amazing. Â Screw CV.
This bar is skanktacular, either that or a fresh meth shipment hit town and the junkies came out of their lairs to play.I haven't seen this many chicks with missing teeth since that womens hockey tournament i went to last year.Imagine a welfare office with a full bar, i half expected to see drunken children milling about.I hated this place.
Review Source:I like dive bars. Â No, I really like dive bars, just not really this one. Â
The owner is cool and the bartenders are usually on point, but the crowd here just kills it for me. Â The only people I've seen in here recently are a bunch of tools and fake ass thugs from other towns trying to start fights. Â That's fine if I can seek refuge, but the only place remotely void of such nonsense is by the 3 pool tables. Â Okay, props for having pool (just bumped up a star). Â And what is the point of not being able to wear a hat inside a divey ass sports bar? Â WTF?
I have had fun here in the past, but not for a long time. Â The last few times I've been in here will hopefully be the last few times I'll be in here, but who knows, I get thirsty pretty easily. Â Then again, why not just hit Doucet's right around the corner.
So, Spanky's is by my moms house. Some my high school friends go there  because it close. Why is there a fight  every time? And I mean the DJ is not that bad but  I hear they got rid of him . So whats the point. The whole atmosphere is dive bar. Dumb ass little boys in there. What part of "no I'm good, I do not want to dance with you and I'm Married" , you  do not understand. Also, fellas do not grab a girl as she walk by that is tacky. I hate Spanky's. I never have fun there. I always feel like ewwh...also not much dance space.It is  just yucky, and dumb
Review Source:Do you like mediocre drinks? Ugly bar patrons? Inadequate ventilation? Being hugged by a homeless man? Then Spanky's is the place for you!
My friend promised me a night of drunken debauchery and she failed to deliver. She took me to the bars in Hayward which I almost never frequent, unless you're counting my college days when I would come for a drink between classes (not my fault there were no bars on campus). MG, sensing my boredom, offered to take me to Spanky's, which she said was awesome.
I didn't like the shady looking people chain smoking outside, and I did not like the general look of the place. It must be the bad feng shui. The whole bar was really hot and humid, making our hair fall flat. Anyways, we both ordered our drinks and took a seat in the back by the pool tables. I thought it was cool that they had a karaoke stage for people who wanted to sing. The crowd is young, but ugly. Was that mean? It's true, though.
We chugged our drinks and tried to get the hell out of there, only to be road blocked by a homeless man who scraped up enough money to interact with people with homes to go back to. After one weird fact after another about the guy's living situation and his claims that he graduated top of his class and received a free ride to Stanford, we put our foot down and waved goodbye. He then warmly gave us a hug, which left us feeling sad.
As we drove by, he shouted the fake names we gave him and said he loved us. Visibly shaken up by the night's events, we needed a stiff drink so we ended our night/morning at Coach's in Fremont. I will never, ever go back to Spanky's, even if the building's on fire and I have to go back in to save a litter of blue-eyed kittens.
Final Verdict: This place is too humid and the drinks are weak. I didn't appreciate the hug from the bum who reeked. The crowd was pitiful and my night here was sad. Going to Coach's made things not so bad!
Now I expected a dive when I walked in here, but it was much worse than that. Most bars in Castro Valley have a clientele that make you doubtful that you are still in the bay area; It feels more like you are in some rural town outside of Bakersfield. Â This place is no exception.
Mostly white males, 20's to 30's, with that juvenile mentality that embraces the humor on 107.7 the Bone's Lamont and Tonelli show.
There was a pornographic magazine on the bar that apparently featured nothing but obese women. I don't know whose it was or why it was there. Then I saw the dancing pole across from the bar. Between the magazine and the pole, I put 2 and 2 together and decided that it would not be a good idea to stick around for whatever show was planned for the evening.
I like Spanky's... its fun... but then again... I'm biased because I'm a dive-bar-aholic...
The drinks are served in plastic cups... that says a lot.
If you want a complicated drink....know how to make it...
and yeah... the clientèle... mostly nasty, horny, drunk men... and women with way too much make-up and jelly rolls hanging over their pants...
but thats not necessarily the bar's fault!!!
the place is around the corner walking distance to the movie theater...
the dance floor is there... but small... and yeah... nasty men...
HOWEVER!
I still return to this bar for a good night of drinking and good conversation with the bartenders.... if dive bars are your thing.... go check this place out.
3.5
I guess th joy of MOVING after high school is not having to run into your peers around town. When we went it was kinda of dead and stayed that way. We were impressed by the stripper pole though. Mental note - get one of those for the house and maybe get messed up here and put it to good use. Like the pool tables and the person with the brilliant idea to add seating all the way around the wall with interspersed tables. Obviously a woman came up with that. The female bartender when we walked in was great, nice, sociable, willing to come up with drinks. The dude that came on shift after her, a complete asshole. I am a patron with the annoying habit of wanting to try something new. I mean I have been drinking alcohol for a decade plus, lord forbid if I want to find out what else there is. He was a dick. I didn't like him.
Spanky's is the place where you hope to never end up, and when your hopes and dreams are shattered you are faced with a lot of stimuli.
middle and high school reunions aside, at spanky's you can find:
cheap drinks
a few pool tables
room to dance
a stripper pole
KARAOKE (not every night but its been there for both the pub crawls)
it's a castro valley gem!...in a cubic zirconium kind of way...
Great Drink That Mess You up pretty good.
It just had alot of ghetto ass guys trying to hit on you and not letting you relax and swallow youre drink. I only went tyo drink Mai-Tai's and play pool. And some drunk ass white girl was following me the whole night asking if they people i was with sold weed. (stupid bitch.)
I was unfortunately stuck at this terrible place for my entire Saturday night because all my friends wanted to go here for some odd reason, and I manned up and volunteered to be the Designated Driver. Even if I was drunk, I would not have enjoyed this place.
It was like I was in high school again...that's how terrible this place is. Everyone who was there was between the age of 21 and 26...however most of them acted/sounded like they were 14...it was really sad. The amount of "oh my god's" and "totally's" spewing from these people's mouth made me want to bash my head in with a pool stick.
The bartender there was a dumbass. My friend asked him for a high ball since I turned him onto the drink, and the bartender actually said "What's a high ball?"...I seriously cannot believe the guy did not know what a high ball was!
But the thing that really got to me was the fact they had a Street Fighter 2 arcade machine in there...which was awesome. What is not awesome is when 4 different buttons....2 on Player 2 side...2 on Player 1 side are broken. That really got to me.
The place was crowded, but that's what you come to expect from a club./bar. If it wasn't full of idiots, I might have enjoyed my time there. I think it wasn't so much the place that I didn't like, as opposed to the crowd of people it attracts. And because of that, I'll never go back. I hated this place.
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