HEY!!!!! Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â PILGRIM!!!!!!
Ya want one of the BESTEST things you can do in Southern California???
OK, follow these directions IMPLICITLY!!! Â Doesn't matter WHERE you get on Amtrak's "Pacific Surfliner" (I suggest from San Diego), but take it to San Juan Capistrano. Â The earlier you get there, the better. Â "I" think they should re-name it the "Bloody Mary Express"... Â Lets just say you plan the "Perfect" day and get there about 11 am. Â Go to the restaurant there at the station, the one thats in an old Railroad Car, and get your FIRST Bloody Mary, maybe two. Â Now, go to the west across the tracks. Â This is the Los Rios part of town.. Â Been here since GOD knows when... Â From the earliest of California's settling.. Â Have breakfast... Â Stumble around, go get Aunt Bertie the coolest little metal Garden art around. Â Take your time, you've got ALL flippin' day!! Â The folks here are glad to see you.. Â Don't be suprised to see Huell Howser, but Huell don't know Blooma's (Bloody Marys). Â NOW, your ready!! Â Go back across the tracks, straight ahead, THERE IT IS!!!
"Swallows Inn"... Â Prepare yourself.. Â I first came here with an old friend of mine who was a "Local" from down at Dana Point Harbor.. Â A true Pirate that looked like Yosemite Sam.. Â LOVED that man!! Â Get a Blooma, get TWO!!! Â NOW, get'cher History Hat on... Â Go on up and see the Mission a block away... Â This is where the swallows came to. Â Real stuff here, significant historical evidence is EVERYWHERE you look.. Â Fountains, benches, Swallow droppings... Â Take in all that you can, maybe have lunch.. NOW, head back to "SWALLOWS INN!!" Â Hahaaaaaa.. Â Someday, this establishment will be PART of the Mission tour... Â Have whatever your personal makeup is willing to handle, BECAUSE, you are gettin' back on the train..
NAP-TIME!!!!!! Â Find a nice, quiet corner on the train and NAP... Â Get amorous or whatever you WANT to do... Â Just relax and enjoy the ride.. Â Try this recipe/prescription and see if you aren't appreciative that a day like this is still available to you!! Â Hopefully, at the end of your train ride is a well planned out Hotel (with a hot tub) within walking distance.. Ya did it Pilgrim.. Â You are a member...
Don't forget to get T-shirts, bumper stickers, and to leave your date's Bra, ALL at "Swallows Inn"....
This place has some history! Â Been around a long time and has the photos on the wall to show for it. Â Their drinks are strong...the music is live and fun! Â If you are a serious country dancer, probably not the best place. Â It's a smaller dance floor and a free-for-all most nights. Â It gets crowded on the weekends. Â If you do Karaoke they have it weekly too. Â The food is bar food, but it will get through the evening. Â Gals...wear a bra you don't mind leaving behind....you can just chuck them up on the ceiling. Â Porn in the bathrooms...it goes both ways so don't be too shocked when you use the restroom ladies! Â It's there for us too. Â I have even seen a horse go half way into the bars front door. Â That was a sight to see! Â Dive bar? Â Oh yes. Â Worth going, YES! Â Long live Swallow's Inn.
Review Source:We did a bar crawl with clients and this was one of our stops along the way. Â It is a real dive bar. Â Once I got over all the bras hanging everywhere and rest of the ambiance it was a pretty good place. Â My friend bought a shirt from here that said "like her in the front poke her in the rear". Â I guess that is there saying for the bar, which goes with the theme.
Review Source:ita a nice bar. Lots of down south country style with decorations to match. Comin here is an experience not for the faint of heart or easily offended, but for the rest of us, just plain fun. Sitting back for 3 drinks and not even dancin was a blast! Forget your attitude and this place is fun! Not too loud inside and very comfortable .
Review Source:Wandered in and found a filthy dive with some folks on barstools that looked like they never leave. Tacky, busy decor that hasn't seen a feather duster since I was in diapers. Good, cold beer. Creepy old men. Fake boobs...desperate women. Random people having a good time. Â Sign says pool....no pool tables. Â Frankly, I really like this bar. It's just plain and simply a BAR.
Review Source:The three stars is based upon the shenanigans of our night only. Â As far as a dive goes, drinks aren't strong and are expensive at that. Â $15 for two bottom shelf shooters? Â GTFO. Â Anyway. Â My husband almost got molested by a 50 year old cougar, I stood back and watched, pretty hilarious. Â One of his buddys got drunk and tried to make out with said cougar. Â I'm pretty sure I was almost the victim of a kidnapping and I may almost have gotten into a fight. Â I wouldn't go back but it was worth the experience.
Review Source:If you are looking for adventure, this is the place to go. Â This is a biker/Honky Tonk/dive bar. Â The folks that frequent this place on a Saturday night include bikers, cowboys, bachlor(ette) parties, Marines, crazies, and Newport Beach preppies. Â A true cross section of Californication. Â The live country band had folks dancing!
Review Source:I had forgotten what a cool old bar that is the Swallows. I probably have not been here for 20 years, and sure enough it's still the same old comfortable cowboy hang. Except they have one of them there fancy modern jukeboxes now. Let me fire up some  Dwight Yoakam dang it. And I certainly did.
Bartender was very cool and funny. I told him I needed a nightcap and asked if they had Macallan 12 year. He wasn't sure and walked me over to the scotch selection. No Macallan, so I requested a Johnny Walker Red, double rocks. "Have you been here before" he asks. I assumed he was suggesting that all of their drinks are pretty much double. Ah, make it a single then Mr. Barkeep, and thanks for the warning.
Sure enough definitely a double, at least, and for $7. Yep, this is old school folks. Friendly service, and strong cheap drinks. Too bad it's so far from home.
Yee-haw. I have no idea how my friend and I ended up here. We were hiking and then shopping and then drinking coffee and then gossiping and then wandering and then the next thing you know we're drankin' burrs with cowboys while surrounded by double D (the D stands for dirty) bras.
The name brings to mind some jokes a la "that's what she said." And rightfully so, because you're not going to be sipping champagne with your pinky up when you decide to spend a couple hours here. And that's ok, as long as you come in with an open mind and the conviction to drink, because there are not many bars on this little stretch of Camino Capistrano. And when my friend Miz and I have our minds set on drinking, dagnabbit, we're going to drink. So we marched right in and took a seat at the bar. The bartenders were older blonde ladies and very friendly. Drinks were dirt cheap and all we had to do was raise a finger for them to fill our glasses. An old man in a cowboy hat and boots sauntered over to ask how our evening was going, and told us we looked like twins. Random and almost inappropriate, seeing as were the only Asian women in the building. But whatever, we were getting a buzz on.
The place filled up as it got later, and was pretty crackin' by the time we decided to stumble out the door. If I ever find myself parched and back in this area, I would stop in and say howdy.
This place has absolutely no class, but charm? Charm practically oozes out the windows with the good music and great times. I love the crowd here, everyone's super friendly. It runs the gamut age-wise; you'll find late twenties to grandmas decked out in tassels and spangles - all dancing and drinking and having the time of their lives.
The service is great, really friendly and you really feel like they've done you a kind favor when they make the drinks strong. It's cash only, which makes it easy for you to cut yourself off once you've spent all your cash - unless, of course, you aren't done yet: in cases like those there's an ATM in the back. Haven't had the food but I hear it's darn tasty for a dive bar.
Music is good and loud, and it's often very crowded but the dance floor is nicely proportioned and everyone's always down to dance.
Good place to blow off steam and have a few laughs.
Pretty sure this is the only bar in San Juan. Â It has a lot of divey flare, bras, panties, ballet slippers hanging from the ceiling. Disgusting plank flooring, a pink toilet from 1976, tons of cowboy patrons. Â
I get a lil giddy over a good dive bar, and this one despite incredulous and intense character, just didnt do it for me. Oh that's right drinks weren't very strong! #1 characteristic of a great dive bar!
AHHH. I love this bar.
Definitely my kind of place. They pour the drinks strong, live music, bras and random things throughout the whole place. The bartenders and bouncers are awesome. There is a huge variety of people: cowboys, older ladies and men, young hip kids, literally every type of crowd in one.
Not to mention the old man that always dresses in white asking girls to go and shake some ass. ha ha.
Whats better then not having to get all glammed up to go and have a freaking blast!? PLUS they have a shuffle board. OH and free popcorn.
They have two womens bathrooms and one is filled with porn. This place is a must go to kinda place.
Seriously.
Kick back and enjoy a cold one...
Woh. Wtf was this place. Definitely wasn't expecting this. Â The place was packed 1:00 on a Saturday afternoon and everyone was having a great time. Â $3 PBR pounders. Â $5 other beers on tap. Cash only...have to get $ out of ATM ($2.95 fee). They serve burgers, hot dogs and cold sandwiches from Linda's Kitchen for $6. Her chips and salsa was $4. Â We didn't try any. Everyone there was having a good time, dancing and jamming to the live music. They was even a saxophone player in the live band!. They seemed to know how to get the crowd moving. Â
There's an outdoor patio to smoke cigs, and the bathrooms are full of porn. Â
It's mostly 30-40 yr olds. Â Bikers, Mexicans w country western theme, and all the randoms like me. Â Bras on the ceiling (covered in lots and lots of dust) along w some cool shirts.
We sat next to a lady, and she kept covering her purse the whole time like we were going to steal from her. Â I'm sure that could happen here.
If you want a random time (esp w the lack of ppl having fun in bars around here), come here. Â Parking is a few blocks down near the train tracks.
O yea, box fans! :)
This is hands down my kind of bar: Â drunk assholes doing Karaoke, bras hanging from the ceiling, tall cans of PBR on special, male porn on the wall in the girl's bathroom, a smoking patio, tore up cougars in jean skirts, friendly bouncers, free popcorn, a diverse crowd, an unpretentious attitude and an all around interesting joint to spend an evening with people you don't know but seem cool enough- which is what I did.
This place is across from the local community theater where the bf of mine is currently doing his whole "acting" thing. Â I attended one of his rehearsals and joined him as well his cast mate and other theater chums and friends of theater chums afterward to stand around a table, drink beers and talk about stuff. Â The evening was interesting and we ended up being the last group of folks at the bar after the Karaoke stars and cowboys had gone home to their children and depression. Â The atmosphere of the place is inviting and hip without trying to be hip and I will forever remember the night since I heard a great shark bite story, watched the bf's director try to lift up a table outside, nearly saw a 50 year old woman's vagina while she gave a man a lap dance, and ended the evening eating a McDonalds Happy Meal with my favorite person.
Swallows Inn seems like one of those joints that can help facilitate a really cinematic evening, the place itself being the star of the night.
If you love locals, ranchers, cowboys, domestic beers, old-style bartenders and country music this is the place to go!
Everyone is as friendly as can be: bar-staff, bouncers, visitors, local regulars, etc. Â
Age ranges from barely 21 to 95!
Music is great. Â Great feelings great vibes!
Swallows day parade is a hot crazy mess yet everyone enjoys themselves even if they're packed tightly into a crammed little space!
Old-80's porn mag cutouts decorate the bathroom walls.... bras hang from the ceiling... amongst a medley of who-knows how old posters, plates, signs, etc. Â
There's a place for everything and everyone here.
Tip the bartender well, the drinks are very low priced and the bartenders are very nice and show tons of appreciation. Â
Cash only...
Yeeha!
Not much could be said about this tourist filled town. its main attraction is a mission that
really doesn't offer much,
therefore a dive-in bar smack in the middle of it all seems a wee outta place.
a place so grimy
so filthy
so loud
filled with biker gangs
it sort of feels like home,
bra's hanging from... well pretty much everywhere.
you kind of wonder who did fill some of those worn out over-sized stained undergarments at some point.
newspaper clippings EVERYWHERE of a county's history.
the stools themselves felt as if they would collapse at any given moment.
juke box..
can you guess?
live music so often
that is the upside!
4 dollar draft beers!
selection is generic,
(although they do carry Long board)
and they have a pretty big selection of liquor.
now the problem again lies as you get completly Smashed
and walk outside and realize where you are?
THE GIST: Â 3.5 STARS. Get your sh*t-kickers, Wranglers, biker handle mustaches and cowboy hats out.. It's time for a hole-in-the-wall-bar-hoe-down!
OVERALL: Went here on a Saturday night for a friends b-day party and it was jam-packed! Live band playing in the background. Only reason we give it below a 4 star is because we aren't biker/cowboy bar fans. It's fun once but we don't think we will be back anytime soon. For those of you who like biker/cowboy bars though.. this is a pretty cool place to come! Yes yes, there are bras and panties hanging from the ceiling which adds to the sweet urban decor. Â Had Blue Moons all night at $5 a pint which is a reasonable price :). Blue Moon tasted extra fresh off the tap!
WHAT'S THE CROWD LIKE?? It's like a mixture of 30 to 60 years olds having a good time at the local SJC bar they've been coming to for years. Chill and friendly crowd.
WHATS THE SERVICE LIKE?? Service is superb (5 star)! Even though the bar was jam packed, the bartenders and waitresses were quick on the orders and super friendly. Thank you to the waitress for returning the wad of cash we accidentally dropped on the floor t:). Good thing too because this place is CASH ONLY.
LAST WORDS: YEE HAW!
I was knee-deep in a pub crawl when we landed at Swallows. Even though this place has been around since Adobe bricks were invented, I'd never checked it out. We were there on a typical off Monday night. There were about 20 people hanging out with plenty of elbow room at the bar. The crowd was a good blend of country western types, mixed generation South O.C. locals and a sprinkling of Marines. About 20% of the people there were interested in dancing to tunes provided a Country Western D.J. On breaks, the jukebox would kick in with people mixing it up by playing the likes of A.C.D.C.
Everyone was cool. Even the 60'ish Nancy Sinatra look-a-like who really wanted to dance, or more, and finally roped in a young innocent looking doe-eyed Marine. And yes, a trip to the men's room here can be a bit distracting. First, I'm not a huge fan of the sheet metal pissing trough system. Add to that, what I'll call the "Wall-O-Porn" collage directly above the trough and it's a little hard to concentrate on your objective. The only thing that's missing is an old school 50 cent condom dispenser. But even Swallows had to draw the line somewhere.
Unless you wear a Stetson Buffalo hat every day and use a spittoon, go to Swallows to take yourself out of your comfort zone, get your Texas two-step on and pay homage to the dive bar crapper hall of fame winner.
If you walk around with your nose in the air or a stick up your ass I wouldn't recommend this place to you.
If you are cool people, then definitely stop in for a drink.
My BF and I popped into this place on our way back to L.A. We were just looking for a couple of beers and this seemed to be the only place open on Christmas Day.
We only had a couple of beers but found the place to be extra chill. It is definitely a cowboy-type crowd but the people were all super nice. Nobody seemed to care that we were quite obviously L.A. people. I felt more cowboy just sitting in there, like I should break a bar stool over somebody's head.
I like that I picked Tom Petty and AC/DC on the jukebox and everyone was feeling it and started dancing. Our bartender gave us a shot of Patron, on the house, as a Xmas gift.
good times!
Well known for its historical Mission, San Juan Capistrano is also home to the infamous Swallow's Inn. The Los Angeles Times once voted the Swallow's Inn as `one of the 10 worst bars in America'. An institution for at least 65 years, the Swallows Inn, is a fun place to spend an hour or two, or six! At any given time you'll lible to find cowboys, bikers, surfers and truckers.
No Cover Charge. Must be 21 or over!
This is my favorite bar. Some places get called a dive bar, but really they aren't; Swallows definitely is. The atmosphere is awsome, you could stare at everything on the ceiling and walls all night long.
This place is not for everyone. You get a variety of characters in there- locals, cowboys, wanna-be cowboys, bikers, marines, cops, firefighters, yuppies, cool people, shady people, all types. There's bands, karaoke, and a jukebox. I love this place and always have fun there. I just wish that I still lived close by.
You can park in the street up front or there's a lot in the back.
As a drummer who has had the honor to play this divey-ist of bars on a bi-monthly basis for the past fifteen years, I Â look forward to playing a gig at the Swallows moreso than any other venue. (Even the Blue Cafe or Cooks.)
Here are the 4-sets-per-night observational and personal reasons:
--Memories of Chris Gaffney with his joyous and redeeming music.
--Watching fearful weddo chicks trying to avoid the retired cowboys (have no fear--one of them is a retired judge) and Marines just back from Iraq and Afganistan looking to have some fun. Semper Fi!!
--LA dudes complaining about the john with the glass encased wall posters and wet floor.
--Gunney mixin' our drinks.
--LA dudes and dudettes complaining about the cigarette smoke and motley crowd mix.
--Respectful (to the band) crowds that may want to start a brawl at the drop of a hat. (I had to put that in, sorry.)
--Real bikers (Hey Kenny).
--Real (who worked on the last remnants of the Irvine and O'Neil ranches) cowboys and cowgirls.
--Same faces at the bar on a Monday Morning.
I'd give it a five star rating but they don't take credit cards. Â How is someone supposed to get enough liquor , buy rounds for friends and have a good time on cash? Â i mean, unless you're the high roller type that carries Ben Frankies with you everywhere. Â if so, you don't belong here.
my coworkers and i got stuck b/c of a massive traffic accident the other day and so we headed to Pedro's for food and walked over to kill time.
we spent about $200 on beer and played suffleboard for 5 hours. Â
it was a dude ranch till a little later, but even then, it wasn't really a great mix of crowd. Â however the bartender (heather locklear looks) was friendly enough to make the crowd happy.
i'll be back with some cash and my bike to better fit the crowd.
by the way, you can get a shave and a haircut there too with a built in barber shop.
bathrooms are not for the faint of heart.
I have to admit that it has been a few years since the last time I was at the Swallows. Â I'm happy to report that not much has changed. Â Yeah it's a little divey. Â This is just a friendly place to kick back and have a drink or two while wandering around beautiful San Juan Capistrano. Â Ran over from the mission during the Battle of the Mariachis, because there was no cervesa being served. Â I really like this joint.
The place was full of locals, tourists staring at the undergarments on the ceiling, and a few bikers...albeit OC bikers out for a weekend ride. Â For some reason I got quite a kick out of seeing a guy dressed up on his bad ass black leathers and biker shirt...sipping on a pint of Heff with extra lemons... Â Anyway, I had a nice cold Corona and the ladies had margaritas. Â Hey we were spending out day enjoying mariachi music so we had to drink appropriately. Â You know? Â I think the margis were like $6.25 and perhaps just a bit overpriced. Â Oh well, you know what they say...location location location. Â
Oh and interesting historical photos over the pisser in the mens room...
Probably the best Dive/Biker Bar in South OC and in the Top 5 in all of OC. Moderate prices great staff, loud, drunk, patrons, Live music, Karaoke, outside patio, shuffle board, Dancing and Harleys as far as the eye  can see.... This place ROCKS !!!  A Perfect place to get your Country Drunk On. Havent left there yet where I wasnt Lit to the Gills and that, my Friend is a good thing. Check out the bartenter Fernando who also works across the street at El Adobe (see Reviews).  A Funny Guy with a talent for Barside Manner."The Ricardo montelban of San Juan."
THIS PLACE IS FLAT OUT FUN !!!
Oh man, I really don't like this place.  My BF wanted to take his friend  here who was visiting from Minnesota, because he thinks it's kitschy.  It really isn't because the crowd that hangs out here is really into the country-western music and they love to dance.  It's just not for me.  The age demographic is a lot older than your typical Newport Beach bar.  He likes seeing this old guy who he thinks looks like Ronald Reagan.  We were some of the youngest people in the place, and we're in our late 30s to early 40s.
Cash only, and a pitcher of beer was $16. Â I got a coke which was mostly ice for $2.75.
I made sure to avoid eye contact with all the cowboys because I was paranoid one of them was going to ask me to dance. Â If you've heard about some interesting decor in the restrooms, or at least in the men's room, it's not there anymore. Â Don't stand anywhere near the restrooms unless you enjoy the smell of urine.
Did I mention that I don't like this place?
When I was a kid this place scared the shit outta me. Â My mom would take me to the Mission or the Train Depot in Capistrano, and a quick glance inside this place made my little heart stop in fear.
As I grew older, like everyone else, I was more interested in the movie theater and the Ruby's -- but eventually, during visits home from USC, I found myself there. Â The Chantays were playing, and I refused to miss a show by the guys who created the modern masterpiece that is the original "Pipeline".
Saloon dive at it's historical best. Â Overflowing with history and local love for the biker, the cowboy, the dirty hippie, the Sano Surfer, and me. Â The only other dive I favor over this one is Turk's in the DP Harbor. Â God forbid they mess with that joint in their fancy remodel coming in the next 10 yrs.
The Swallows Inn is up there with the Mission Bells, the Depot, and the Swallows themselves as part of Capistrano.
There is only one Swallows. Â I'm not sure how to explain it. Â I walked in with no preconceptions, and it blew me away. Â The thing is, in California, most bars are aiming at a certain demographic, then they cater to that demographic, and the money rolls in. Â Unfortunately, when that happens, you lose some of the chuztpa (sp?) and character that comes with a hole-in-the-wall type bar. Â Well, look no further.
I remember the live music, semi-country, and the dance floor, where serious, string-tie cowpokes were two stepping with Suzie-Q the sorority girl from California-U. Â I remember the place--the place itself looked like a movie set, and I'm sure that was not the intention. Â And then the atmosphere. Â Gone were the games, the judgemental attitudes, the 'do I look good?' thoughts running through your head (whether you know it or not). Â Here, girls would ask guys to dance, because, if your not dancing, well, you should be, and everyone is just here to have a good time, right? Â Maybe I'm romanticizing this a little, or maybe things have changed since 2004-05, but the idea here is, this place is different than most everywhere else in modern SoCal. Â Enjoy it before the bank buys the place and turns it into another Yard Birds.
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