Mr. Ho's Chines

This is the long version, the short version is below where it says HERE!

Let me begin by saying that I try to usually only leave positive reviews as I think people always only voice complaints.  One bad experience just makes ME not want to return & I don't want to talk badly about a business without giving them a second chance.  I don't usually return if things are bad so I just put a check next to never return & leave it at that.  I found this place to be the exception.   And since I feel I just threw away $40, I wanted to honestly give a heads-up to others.

I am taking a huge test on Sunday and while I study over the weekend I was looking for some food that I could eat over the weekend to not take time to cook but just keep studying.  I was going to order a pizza, but I came across Mr. Ho's.  I looked at the reviews here & some other sights, they seemed to be almost all positive so I thought why not?  The ones that convinced me were "best Chinese food here", "best Chinese food ever", & "fresh, crispy vegetable".  I put in my order through <a href="/redir?url=http%3A%2F%2Fdelivery.com&s=609b2d31420216f9eba23465871ae01c6c8912717f0ab28d274af73b53d57cc8" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://delivery.com</a> & looked forward to my food arriving at the time stated, which it did on the DOT that I requested with a VERY nice driver.  

I opened the food as I was starving at this time & excited.  I try to eat healthy so I don't eat Chinese food often so I was really looking forward to scarfing this stuff down :)

I will admit my friends call me a food snob, and admittedly I am particular about food.  I am not rich so if I am going to spend the little money I have on going out I go get GOOD food and don't mind paying a little extra for it!  Food that is good doesn't have to be insanely expensive. some of the best food we all know comes from unexpected places. Two of my favorites in Fort Myers are like that: El Patio (Peruvian) and The Clam Bake (New England Sea Food with a lobster roll I just HAVE to have sometimes!).  Both restaurants unassuming in a strip mall but serving DAMN good food!!!  Clearly differing from Mr. Ho's.  

The "food" came well packaged & warm, but that's where the positive ends.  

HERE IS FOOD REVIEW: I ordered veggie delight, garlic chicken, veggie lo mein and upgraded to house special fried rice.  My roommate took one bite and she said "it's so bland!".  I was hoping she was wrong...alas she wasn't.  The fried rice had shrimp in it that were not fully cooked & the rice looked like it was instant rice!  It most certainly was not cooled before it was cooked and it had no flavor!  The lo mein was made with what I can only think was spaghetti noodles?!  Also, NO flavor.  The "fresh" veggies were NOT fresh!  For God's sake the mushrooms were CANNED and I am sure they used the Sam's club stir-fry mix of veggies!  And all of them tasted horrible! I had better "chinese" food from my public high school cafeteria!  BUT, the WORST part was the garlic chicken!  I don't know WHAT the hell kind of meat they used, where it came from or what they did to it but it was LITERALLY INEDIBLE!  The texture, the TASTE...something was DEFINITELY wrong!!! It was horrific!  I thought it was maybe just the one piece, so reluctantly I tried another...EEEHR!  Honestly, inedible.  

At this point I felt sick, but I had spent $30, $40 with tip and delivery charge.  I ate some veggies, lo mein & fried rice after pouring soy sauce and Sriracha all OVER it!  I usually can only use a little Sriracha...I cannot handle overly spicy food but I think Sriracha sauce is not just spicy, it has a DELICIOUS flavor so I dip my fork in a bit & grab some food to just get a little kick and taste...no amount of Sriracha could save this food!  I was literally pouring it on...I used more Sriracha in that one sitting that I have used in months on food!  I kid you not!!!  (I had thrown out the chicken in garlic sauce...I could not afford to get sick before this test!!!)

That was last night.  I decided to buck up and eat the food for lunch today also.  All I could think was "I paid $40!!!".  I mean it when I say I am not rich.  So  I decided to grow a pair and just eat at least some of it, I couldn't just throw away $40.  I pulled the lo mein, veggies and fried rice and COVERED it in Sriracha and sat down to eat it fast so as not to taste it too much.  AND THAT'S WHEN I SAW IT.  INTO MY 5TH BITE, I SAW A LITTLE BLACK THING.  I thought, "no, now you're just being ridiculous.  You don't like the food and you're trying to make excuses to not eat it.  It's probably some seasoning".  But my inner inner thought was screaming "Seasoning?!  SEASONING?!  This food has no seasoning on it!  It's tastes horrible!  There's no way they used some herb on their food!!!"  So I stopped...I looked...I grabbed my napkin and wiped my fork on it...and my worst fear came true.  IT WAS A FLY!!!!  NO MISTAKING IT!  LEGS SHRIVELED UP, ONE WING HAD COME OFF WHEN I WIPED IT, LITTLE LEGS CURLED UP NEXT TO THE BODY AND STICKING OUT!!!!  
So I decided to stop studying & write this review.  Take what you will from it.

Pros: Mr. Ho's is hands down the best place in the city for Chinese takeout and delivery. In fact it is probably the best Chinese food I have ever had, ever. EVER. I've ordered a number of different things but always come back to the golden Mongolian beef -- I swear they put crack and/or heroin in it. And aside from the AMAZING food, the people are awesome on the phone and the delivery drivers are quick and never ever forget anything.

Cons: It's pretty much takeout and delivery only. Not that I mind at all, or even really consider this a "con" -- just wanted to make sure people are aware that this isn't a "sit down and eat" restaurant.

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Suffice it to say that writing this review has now caused me to call in an order. I can not talk about Mr. Ho's without wanting Mr. Ho's  -- it's that good. There should be nothing preventing you from ordering from here -- even if you are allergic to Chinese food, you should still order it and quickly learn to eat it all before your throat and face finish swelling shut. Yes, it's that good.

If Mr. Ho's ever starts selling t-shirts (and who WOULDN'T want to rock a Mr. Ho's t-shirt?! Best Chinese food name ever!)... you better believe I'm buying one.

I LOVE YOU MR. HO'S!!! :)