Whitman House

This is an awful place for anything but hog slop.  A hog might eat here and be satisfied, but hogs eat any kind of rotten or uncooked food.  Vile "food" and surly "service" are the best that can be said for the Whitman House.  We should have left when we both commented that only one other couple was dining there.  

When you see the Whitman House, keep driving - don't stop.

To celebrate their anniversary, my parents picked out this restaurant for a "fancy dinner".  It wouldn't have been my choice, but it seems pickin's are slim for great places to eat in Cape Cod.  

The atmosphere of the restaurant is certainly more upscale, but that's about as fancy as it gets at Whitman House.  

The food was so-so.  Definitely not fine dining, so if that's what you're after, look elsewhere.  They start you out with plastic-wrapped crackers and bread sticks with cheese spread.  Then they move on to rolls and a family-style salad bowl (not bad).  Then the entrees:  lobsters are good, and the my mother loved her Seafood Newburg.  My brother and I wanted to try some local seafood that was not lobster.  We ended up getting the scrod as the striped bass was not yet in season.  It was simply prepared with some butter and breadcrumbs.  It tasted fine, but it was boring, and the breadcrumbs were mushy.  My father ordered the baked local filet of sole, but ended up with the stuffed sole.  

Prices are very reasonable for everything, which was a relief.  There's nothing worse than getting mediocre food and then having to pay through the nose for it.  

Service was spotty.  For the most part he was fine, but I think our waiter was a little flustered by the large bus party that was there the same time we were.  When we asked if my father got the stuffed sole rather than the regular sole he ordered, we were told that he received the right entree.  Then when I ordered a creme de menthe cake for dessert, I received some sort of creme de menthe sundae.  I told the waiter this was not what I ordered, but he insisted there was no such dessert as creme de menthe cake.  He offered to get me something else, but I went ahead and ate the sundae anyway.  I had to ask everyone at the table if I had imagined the cake on the menu.  I had not.  Fortunately, the waiter came by to say he was sorry and comped us for the dessert.  This meant a lot to me.  

Some other yelpers mentioned a Holy Bible in the foyer.  Unfortunately I missed this.  I would have found that so amusing!

Woo, the Whitman House. Where to begin...

Let's start out with some brief history of the place: it's a restored 18th century farmhouse or something like that.

Now, onto the review.

I walked in and sat down in my chair. When I tried to adjust my position in the chair, I realized I couldn't move. Then I realized my shirt was stuck to the back of my chair. Then I realized that there was something sticky on the back of my chair that was keeping me from moving. I don't know what it was and quite frankly, I'd rather not find out.

Then, the waiter arrived to take drink orders. He reminded me of Owen from Dodgeball. He was a little  awkward, yet endearingly so.

Then, the waiter came over with the bread basket. At first, I was really excited. Then I realized that the breadsticks and crackers in the basket were wrapped in plastic, not homemade. It was served with some kind of "cheese" dip (and I use the term "cheese" loosely; it was more like a goo) that was probably as old as the restaurant. I avoided it because I wasn't in the mood to enjoy those breadsticks twice.

Are you a vegetarian? Well, you're in luck, because the Whitman House has accommodations! Their vegetarian menu has 2 great selections to choose from-- pasta with marinara sauce and pasta with vegetables! How extensive!

As a pseudo-vegetarian, I decided to order the pasta with vegetables. It was oily and tasteless. However, they say with enough parmesan cheese, anything can taste good, so I dumped the entire container on the pasta and it was tolerable.

If any of the above things appeal to you, The Whitman House is your place! For those of you whose palates are working, do yourselves a favor and take the 5 minute drive to Provincetown.