If ever a restaurant were deserving of no stars, this would be the one.
I ordered through GrubHub. I am honestly and truly *appalled* at the notion that such a respectable and customer-oriented company like GrubHub would associate itself with this place.
My god, where to begin.
Let's start with what I ordered versus what I actually received.
I ordered the stuffed quail, the item description on GrubHub: "two whole quails stuffed with wild mushroom risotto."
I literally couldn't help but laugh when I opened the container and fully wrapped my mind around what they had sent me. The container included: two pieces of some unidentifiable poultry (at least I think it was poultry), burned and hard, not stuffed with anything, surrounded by watery, half-cooked Mexican rice (which isn't even on the menu!). Seriously.
So one of three things is happening here: 1) Either the restaurant owner/manager/chef thinks their customers have never seen risotto, or a mushroom for that matter, and therefore would never be able to tell the difference between that and Mexican rice, 2) The owner/manager/chef thinks that risotto is just another word for any type of rice, and they just happened to forget the mushrooms this time, or 3) It's a classic bait-n-switch, wherein they've done the math of the likelihood of people demanding a refund for the food they've received, which I'm certain is lower than the number of people who just eat it but never order from there again, and have decided that they can increase their profit margin by sending out incredibly sub-par food.
I'm leaning toward #3.
But wait. There's more!
I wasn't alone in this comical takeout misadventure.
Here is what my friends ordered versus what they actually received:
Friend #1 ordered the gamberi saltimbocca, the item description on GrubHub: "jumbo shrimp wrapped in prosciutto stuffed with our homemade herb-sage cheese and white mushrooms, served with buttered broccoli and roasted herb potatoes."
When said friend opened their container, at first glance they were certain that they had received the wrong menu item, but, upon further inspection, we realized that no, it was, in fact, what this place is trying to pass off as the aforementioned dish. The container included: overcooked shrimp, not stuffed with anything, and wrapped in large pieces of some sort of raw, painfully salty, cured meat (I know prosciutto, and this was no prosciutto), surrounded by...nope, not broccoli...no, not herb potatoes either...yes, you guessed it, watery, half-cooked Mexican rice.
Friend #2 ordered the New York strip steak, the item description on GrubHub: "With Chef J's signature sauce. Includes double baked potato."
This was the only container which held a recognizable dish, sort of. I mean, the steak was there, and, well, at least it was actually a beef steak, as advertised. Rather than a double baked potato though, there was a mess of mashed potatoes with bits of stuff in them. We were unable to pinpoint exactly what said stuff was though. Oh, and Chef J's special sauce? It turns out to be greasy water. It must be, given the amount of greasy water that filled the container.
It took us about ten minutes to accept that, sadly, there were no hidden cameras, and that this "restaurant" was seriously actually sending out "food" like this to customers.
We make the fairly incensed call to GrubHub. The woman on the other end apologizes profusely, and appears to be at a loss for words besides that. She calls the restaurant. Comes back on the line. Tells us that the restaurant offered to redeliver the food. I laugh a little too loudly. I tell her we just want a refund, some mouthwash, and vodka to help us get the taste out of our mouths. She calls the restaurant again. Comes back on the line. She sounds exasperated, tells us the manager hung up on her, but he did say he would have someone drive over and give us a refund (because we paid in cash). I thank her and she offers me GrubHub credit, because they actually care when their customers have a horrific experience involving eating indistinguishable meat products.
One hour later our refund arrives. A nice, smiling delivery guy hands me some cash. Tells me to have a great night.
And thus was my experience with El Ranchito Gourmet Pizza.
But hey, the food got here super fast!
I wish that I could give zero stars (and that I had been smart enough to look this place up on yelp before ordering).
First of all, my delivery bag was swimming with escaped sauce that got ALL OVER my apartment.
Not a promising start, but things like this happen and I still had high hopes for the actual food.
Unfortunately, my hopes were not rewarded.
I ordered the Avocado Salad. The avocado was not ripe; i understand that avocados are not in season presently, but if you cannot get useable fruit you should take the item off the menu. Also, the avocado was not, as described in their menu, "stuffed with grill calamari, fresh cherry tomatoes, onions, and shredded cheese" Nope, it was all just tossed together in with romaine. And the cheese was not shredded, but feta. wtf. and the calamari, which I usually love, tasted rubbery and horrible. So, needless to say, I didn't actually end up eating the salad.
Next, on to the Spaghetti Carbonara. First of all, upon opening the container I was met with an awful stench. Seriously, this dish literally stunk. Upon further inspection, I found that the "italian bacon" was actually canadian bacon, which is NOT the same thing, nor does it impart the same flavor. It was terribly "icky." The cheese all coagulated together in clumps which was obviously less than appetizing-- it was disgusting. Â The noodles were positively swimming in excess sauce. Did i mention that the noodles were overdone? Totally mushy and positively gross.
Ohh, and to top it all off, the milkshake i ordered was not just melted but WARM.
INEDIBLE. Â Just plain gross. Â The food, which arrived cold and late, was obviously terrible to start with. Â When I called to voice a complaint the woman was extremely rude to me and, though I didn't catch all of what she said, she called me a not-so-nice word when telling her manager that I was unsatisfied. Â It's called a hold button and customer service, hun. Â How can you mess up mozzarella sticks and salad?? Â Pathetic. Â Will never EVER order from here again!
Review Source:Only good thing is that its open late. THE FRIED CHICK. IS DISGUSTING. I had one bite and had to throw it away. Not sure how you can mess up friend chick. but this place did. The pizza is ok, for 4 in the morning but they need to cook their food a little longer. Pizza is cheap but you get what you pay for. Delivery time is a little long as well.
Review Source:Don't believe the hate. El Ranchito is a solid ass Mexican place that has the talent to make solid ass pizzas as well...for CHEEEEEAP! I'm talkin a $10.50 for a freakin 18 inch pizza and they call it a large. Papa Romeo's charges $17.99 for a 16 inch and they have to call it a freakin x-large and it doesn't even taste as good as Ranchito's. A majority of the low reviews on this site are based purely on delivery time. Anyway, don't believe the hate: these are good people making good food for good prices. Yuppies, take your first world complaints to Piece Brewery.
Review Source:Why can't I give zero stars? "Pathetic" is a perfectly adequate rating!
Why you ask?
Let's start with delivery time...40 minutes after the agreed upon time and only after I called them to see what the hell had happened.
Whoever was on the phone said the driver was already on her way, but asked me for my address again and shouted it to someone...
Then they called back and said my address was outside their delivery zone (I'd gotten delivery from them before with no problem), but that they were still coming...
They called back once more to ask if I was in Chicago (Wait, how did you know if I was or wasn't in your zone if you didn't know what city I was in?) and what my cross streets were...the driver had no clue where to go. (Here's a coupon for a GPS/Map, MF!)
l
When I finally received the "goods" (most of which was in various states of warm/cooling/not remotely hot), here was the end result:
- Â A strawberry shake that lacked any flavor and was so liquid-runny that Kaopectate would be necessary under different circumstances
- Garlic Bread that wasn't toasted...at all...and tasted only of garlic's unfortunate substitute, Garlik(tm).
- Semi hard ravioli that was so rubbery in places I could have sold it to Goodyear
- Spaghetti whose sauce was devoid of soul, passion and simple good taste...I could take a bottle of ketchup and rat droppings and come up with a better result...(thank god for Franks Red Hot).
- Also, let me mention the meatballs wrapped in plastic that came in the pan of 'ghetti (not separate)...whether or not they were fully cooked was anybody's guess...and the visual they presented...as George Takei often says, "Ohhh myyy."
But never say that I'm completely negative...there was something positive:
- To quote my lady, "The mozzarella sticks tasted like mozzarella sticks"
Will NEVER EVER order from this place again!
Save your money, save your time, save your stomach, save your sanity...
I thought that 14.99 was a great deal for a one topping pizza and wings. Turns out I would have been better off walking to jewel and buying a tombstone. The pizza tasted like cardboard and had maybe eight pieces of pepperoni on it. The wings were cold by the time I got them. If you like little Caesars this place may be for you. Although I think little Caesars may be better.
Review Source:Bad things happen when you're starving armed only with a BlackBerry during the epic RIM outage of 2011.
So for this very bad decision, I blame Reasearch In Motion.
- My data service was intermittent.
- I was starving and had a craving for thin crust pizza.
- I couldn't get on Yelp.
- Google maps wasn't pulling up places close enough to walk to.
So... I grabbed the menu that had been left in my box just the other day and ordered.
- Delivery was 15 minutes later than the estimated 45 minutes.
- Pizza was cold and the cheese hard by the time it arrived.
- Stuffed mushrooms were so gross. I'm not sure what was in them but it sure as hell wasn't crab meat. Maybe the tough gill-part of the crab you're not supposed to eat. They were also sitting in a tray with a bunch of wet vegetables that had made the panko crumbs soggy. Brilliant.
- Back to the pizza - Bowling alleys serve better pizza since the expectation is that low.
Bad. I like lists.
-they called me THREE TIMES with different issues on my order - apparently these people don't even know what's on their own menu, because some of the issues could've been easily sovled by LOOKING at the menu! duh!
-over 20 minutes late on their 50 minute delivery quote.
-by the time the food got to me it was completely INEDIBLE!! i ordered the falafil wrap. it was complete mush by the time i got it, and tasted awful. my boyfriend's bbq chicken sandwich had some kind of sauce on it, but it was NOT barbeque! and gross. and the fries that came with his sandwich? so soggy that is seems like they were soaked in the bathtub or something - and again, inedible
-just all around worthless. really. don't waste your time or money
Keep looking. Â My favorite place at the end of the street had a fire so I've been looking for a decent pizza place to deliver. Â This is definitely not it. Â The person who answered the phone was hard to understand and even after going through and attempt to confirm my order it was still incorrect. Â I ordered two Pizzas and an order of stuffed mushrooms. Â I was handed a bag with the pizza boxes thinking that was the mushrooms....not. Â After a phone call that produced no results it was time to dig into the pizza. Â If you like to eat a soggy thin crust pie this is for you.
Review Source:I honestly don't know what possessed me to order from this place....well, I do -- it was an overwhelming desire for a milkshake. Â
So i ordered up a wrap, some fries and a oh so good sounding milkshake, and I waited. Â and waited. Â and waited. Â After an hour and a half, I called and was told they were on their way. Â 45 minutes later I called again, and was told they were close. Â It took almost THREE hours to get my food!!! Â three hours!!
Needless to say, the fries were so cold, they were inedible. Â And the sandwich was....well, it wasn't even what I ordered! Â Well, I thought to myself, at least I still have the milkshake to enjoy. Â But, oh the milkshake. Â Here's where the story takes a tragic turn. Â
I'm still undecided about what exactly happened to the milkshake. Â Either the ice cream had just completed melted, which given the half day wait for delivery wouldn't be shocking, or it was really just chocolate milk to begin with. Â Once I finish crying over spilled milk (aka the milkshake), I'll get busy losing their number.
Certain items are decent here, others are crap.
The good items include the Jumbo Quesadilla and the sopes.
I also ordered the huevos con chorizo, which looked and tasted terrible. It was under proportioned and cold by the time it got to me, 2 and a half hours late. I ordered some nachos, which were inedible and had to be tossed. Plus,I have ordered from here before, and the meals are never consistent. Sometimes, your sides are beans and rice. Sometimes they are guacamole and lettuce shreds with a lime wedge.
I had fallen asleep by the door, and when the delivery guy called my phone, it woke me up.
I should have left the cold food with him and not paid. Never again due to poor service and product.
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