Passion Nightclub

I'm a regular here in the lower level VIP areas in front of the DJ booth or to the side of the dance floor opposite of where the main floor bar is located. We always have a bottle on hand so I can't tell you if drink prices are high.  I remember once my husband ordered a Corona at $6 or 7 dollars.

Currently, DJ Zog is spinning on most Friday nights.  Miami's own DJ Laz starts around 12:30 on Saturdays.  The music is a mix of top 40, house, and Latino. I've never had a night where I said to myself, "this blows. I'm going home."  I think the club experience largely is what you make of it.  If you let the music move you  and stop over analyzing it so darn much, you might have a good time.  

Overall, the atmosphere and vibe here is a positive one.  I've never felt creeped out or threatened by anyone.  I've never seen a fight or felt like I was about to be a part of one.  The dancers are beautiful. The music is good. The eye candy is all around.  What's not to love?  

Cons: It is excessively loud in here though.  Most of the time we're whisper yelling into each other's ears if we have to talk. However, I don't really go to a club to find out your deepest emotions so it isn't a problem for me.  Earplugs might help if you're sensitive to loud booming music.

I love the location.  If you get tired of Passion, remember there are at least 5 other places you can shake your butt or chill with a drink in hand.

THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET AT ........PASSION NIGHTCLUB

As you enter the club, all I heard was some annoying top 40 song making sign language a must and my body felt the thud of every bass line. It made me think long and hard what was happening to me. Was this what heart palpitations felt like? I was already miserable and I had only made it five feet into the club. If I had known what would come next I think I would have stayed home.

We went up to the VIP area; It was one of the worst VIP areas. Looking for a spot to dance was impossible since it was beyond packed in the VIP area. We tried to get back to our group, which was only 20 feet away, and it took us about ten minutes. (This leads me to talk about the first person you meet in this club, Big x Big Booty women.)

1) Big x Big Booty Women: These are the women that are generally together and do not understand the phrase 'excuse me'. Their GINORMOUS booties are known to cause claustrophobia for surrounding patrons. I happen to get caught between them and they bounced me around like a pinball setting a record bouncing one person around between booties at Passion Nightclub. They are generally surrounded by ghetto superstar wannabes, who are going bonkers over the massive jiggly booties and refuse to move for anyone. (Description to be discussed later.)

After our 20 feet trek, my friends and girlfriend decided downstairs would be more fun. We went on our longer trek and at the upstairs balcony, it was hard to ignore all the hot, scantily clothed women all over the joint. (This leads to the second person you meet in this club.

2) Women Oozing of Sex: These women are the ones with ridiculous curves wearing ultra tight dresses. They are the ones that make you snap your necks. After spotting these women, the amount of spotted thongs went up double. Yes, they are the ones that put on the show. They are generally surrounded skull crushing meatheads.

We maneuvered to a spot right outside the dance floor. This was where the hardest part of our journey began for us, but first we had to get by that guy who refuses to move for anyone. My girlfriend speaks up in what must have sounded like the timid voice of Laverne Hooks from Police Academy series, "excuse me". He turns around with a menacing look, "you got a problem". We immediately go for another route.(This leads to third person you meet in the club.)

3) Skull Crushing Meatheads: They varied in size. Some are tall and muscular, while others are short and stocky. They are like the Hulk and are always angry, so clubbers beware for them. These are the type that keep 'affliction' and 'tapout' in business by only wearing that apparel. To impress women oozing of sex they say " I am an mma fighter"

Finally, we found our way onto the dance floor dancing with about two dozen people on our way to our destination. We collected sweat and nastiness from all of them; it was quite lovely. After we get settled with our overpriced, poorly made drinks in tow, we got hit with flying alcohol. (This leads to the fourth person you meet in the club.)

4) Overly Happy Dancer Flinging Drinks Everywhere: They are the ones with a full drink in their hands and throwing their hands in the air. After the drinks lands on someone, they are trying to befriend the victims. They are generally in their lower 20's and new to the club scene.

After getting our clothes wet with alcohol from those overly happy dancers flinging drinks everywhere, my friend and I tried to get a drink, but to be thwarted by the aforementioned big x big booty women with their male fan club blocking our way. (This leads to the fifth person you meet in the club.)

5) Ghetto Superstar Wannabes: They are obnoxious. They are consciously rude to people. They are the ones with clothing three sizes too big; they are the ones with their pants so low that their boxers are clearly visible. They are the ones smoking black and milds. Lastly, they are madly in love with those big x big booty women.

Also Considered: Overly sweaty people, the wasted bitch with missing shoes, the grumpy bouncer, the guy who dances up on women known as the the grinder.

After our group had been bumping and  forced to dance with undesirables for a couple hours, we decided it was time to leave Passion. We left with irregular heartbeats and soaked clothing smelling like a mixture of alcohol and cigarette smoke. It is always a guaranteed good time at Passions.

Call me old, but I don't dig the club scene any more.  I have been here a couple times prior to this past weekend and it hasn't changed.  I prefer kicking back on the couch or going to a low key bar with music not blaring in the background and not having to scream at the top of my lungs to talk to someone in a club.  A group of us came down to celebrate a bachelorette party over the weekend and we got in for free since we were on the VIP list.  It's not worth 20 bucks to get in here.  The drinks are ridiculously priced and it gets crowded quick.  Since we all didn't go in together, some of us had to leave the club and come around the other side in the front of the club to get back in to get into a private room upstairs.  The bouncer that was blocking the way to get to the other side was an asshole and said we had to wait until midnight in order to pass through the shortcut.   Talk about aggravation!  Luckily, the group of ladies I was with made the night worth while, even though I was this close to knocking a few people out of that club based on their self-inflicted drama and high maintenance attitudes.