Subway

I can't complain about the food.  Stuff looks pretty fresh due to the solid lunch traffic.

Now, the owner always tries to upsell the meal deal when I'm paying.  He gives me that look like I'm robbing him by only getting a $5 footlong.

Normally, I would not be one to say anything nice about Subway.  *This* subway however has...SPINACH!  Adding that to a sandwich brings up the value of those 5 dollar craptaculars HUGE.  The staff (at this one) is always friendly and fast.

Do you hear that?  That's the sound of my mouth and stomach weeping from disappointment and loss of appetite.  Why do I come here, again?  Oh, yeah.  Convenience.  Three strikes, this Subway's out!  

First strike:
Winter time, employee's got a cold.  They wear gloves, right?  The looks of this particular employee gave me the heebie-jeebies and I instantly imagined all sorts of scenarios where he didn't wash his hands.  Perhaps just thinking about it made me psychosomatically get a cold.  Either way, I wasn't feeling too great about the guy, nor the subsequent cold.  The sandwich, also, was 'meh.'  STRIKE ONE!

Second Strike:
I found a freakin' staple in my sandwich!!  Where the heck would a staple come from?!  They don't staple the wrapping or the bag.  Must have happened through some horrific cross-contamination or flying office supplies incident.  Maybe the "chef" thought it added something to the flavor of the turkey.  Sandwich goes unfinished and into the trash.  My patronage should have ended here.  STRIKE TWO!!

Third and Final Strike:
About a year later (on this sunny afternoon, to be exact), I'd forgotten all about the staple incident, and needed to pick up something quickly before getting back to the office.  I could go out of my way to get a relatively decent snack from the Mart or a nearby restaurant and then double back....Nah, Subway's right here.  

Long line, but I tried to make this a pleasant experience -- politely ordered and smiled to maybe give the lifeless workers a boost.  My poor zombie employees weren't havin' it.  Seems like they all banded together in boredom or lethargy.  No biggie.  I get that one: working in customer service blows.

Then, what do you know?  The well was dry of turkey.  No problem.  Our anti-hero employee at the end of the line grabs a package from the cooler and knifes open (using the same knife on the bread, mind you) the turkey slices pre-packaged in plastic and plops the stack down into the well.  Problem solved.  Instant turkey!  We're on our way to making a deliciously sub-par sub-sandwich, stale bread and all.  Another sandwich bites the dust, because that's what it tasted like.  Dust.  You too, in the trash, Sandwich.  I'm throwing this Subway in the trash.  Perhaps all Subways.  STTEEEEERRRRIIIKE!!!  YOU'RE OUTTA THERE!

Never again.  If you see me heading towards their door, please shoot me.  I'll even give you the gun.