I went here last night for dinner and had an excellent meal. The chinese foods was yummy! It was hot and fresh...exactly what you look for in a good meal! The prices were so reasonable. Â After dinner we went to the cocktail lounge and sat in their amazing comfy seats and threw back a few drinks. The atmosphere is so laid-back and nice. The staff at the bar and restaurant were very attentive. The restaurant has been here FOREVER so that tells you something!!!
Review Source:AH the Tahiti.  I have been going to this since I was a kid.  it happens to be my Dad's favorite Chinese Restaurant.  Whenver he is up from Florida we end up there at least once for lunch and once for dinner.  he either gets this flaming chicken thing or Egg foo young and always says they are very good.  I have tried the General Gaus and the Boneless spare ribs are flavorful and fatty.  I usually end up getting some rum drink that is served in a coconut with alot of fruit.  The service is always good  and the place could use a decor overhaul I feel like John Travolta is gonna start dancing to staying alive and a disco ball is gonna come down from over the bar.  I would say give it a try if you want a dinner at a nostalgic chinese restaurant.
Review Source:My husband and I have been to the Tahiti on several occasions for drinks with no problem. We went there on New Year's day for some hang over relief. Subsequently we both believe that someone put something in both of our drinks. Both of us at various times left our drinks on the bar unattended to either go smoke or talk to other people and we both blacked out upon getting home. Thankfully we live 10 minutes away. BE CAREFUL here! I will NEVER return. Quite a scary experience. BTW - pretty sure the regular that drives the town truck is the scum bag that drugged our drinks.
Review Source:I must say -- having been an off-and-on patron of this establishment over 20 plus years -- that my experiences with the Tahiti have been better if their drinks started the encounter off, and not the food. Â The food isn't totally heinous, but there are other places in the area that might actually fire you up a little more if you're looking for top notch Asian chow. Â The thing is that the scorpion bowls and the ice teas really deliver in the drink department, and the wait staff -- both at the bar and in the lounge, as well as on the restaurant side -- has always been friendly and pretty competent. Â If you go here, I'd advise stepping it up first with one of their numerous cocktails while waiting for your choice of food. Â Believe me, you won't go wrong with that approach.
Review Source:I really liked it.
I stopped in with a  buddy around 10:30 on a Monday night after a beer-league hockey game, so we obviously weren't looking/smelling too hot.
No matter, neither was the restaurant!
No jk it isn't that bad, just really corny 70's-style layout with way too many couch-around-table set ups in a big open room. There's a giant mural on the wall showing a tropical beach (Tahiti, I presume?). I liked it.
I think most of how you judge a place depends on your expectations going into it. Â At 10:30 on a Monday at a run-down Chinese joint in Dedham, I wasn't expecting a delicious, healthy Asian meal. Â Greasy spring rolls would suffice, and they did.
However, I was really impressed with the drink menu. Â So many different fruity tropical drinks, really strong, and not too expensive. Â Get the Zombie.
Also, the waitress was extremely friendly and you can tell she works hard (granted the key to my heart is putting the Devils' game on TV for me). Â
But overall the couch chairs are comfy, the drinks were cheap and strong, and the waitress is great. Â If you want excellent Chinese food, well it's your fault for coming here in the first place.
ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! Tahiti is one of those places you go, and have so many great memories with family and friends. I have been going there since I was a kid. Prices are good. Food is great. I recommend the General Gau's chicken... Probably the best in New England. Crab rangoon, rice, and everything else on the menu is just as good. The waitstaff is super friendly, and efficient. Overall, great place to go with family and friends.
Review Source:I live about a 5 minute walk away from this place, so I've had many meals from them.
Their biggest problem is consistency in quality of their dishes, and across different days/shifts.
Generally, I find some of their typical American Chinese fare including egg rolls, crab rangoon, pork chow mein, chicken fingers, BBQ boneless ribs, to be a little below average, but edible; pork fried rice a bit above average but consistency is not always there.
I have had bad experiences with their Polynesian dishes. I wouldn't recommend the Tahitian Wedding, which has a weird TV dinner taste, nor the Wor Bor, which doesn't have flavors that work well together.
The Szechuan dishes are spicier, and more bearable, but I'm not a big fan of any of the seafood dishes at Tahiti, they just don't taste fresh.
They have a divey lounge (with furniture/decor from the 1960s) that picks up in the late evenings. One of the bartenders is really friendly, the other one not as much, and comes across as a bit of a douche. After 11:30pm, a lot of the service and restaurant industry folks from around Dedham and Legacy Place come in, so it gets very busy. A bunch of people are usually there to blow their cash on Keno, which makes the atmosphere a bit depressing for my taste.
The only reason this place is getting two stars in our waitress kicked ass, she was awesome. Â She was funny, attractive, personable and you appreciate that as a patron, especially when it would be very easy for her to be bitchy that late at night (was about 1030 when we arrived)..
Now, going in to a restaurant review, and the waitress is the highlight, well, that can't be good.. Â We got your basic Chinese food.. Â And, it was AWFUL, I mean dreadful..
Beef Teriaki.. Â OMG.. Â Dry, bland, and it was clearly OLD. Â It HAD to have been sitting around and they tossed it in the microwave and threw it on the plate. Â I love beef teriaki but this was the worst I have ever had. Â There were four of us at the table, we left three of them in the tin (you get like 7).. Â REAL bad, I think homeless people may have passed on these.
Pork Fried Rice.. Â REALLY? Â HORRID! Dry, over cooked, disgusting. Â A matter of fact it was a bit cold as well (which confused me since the teriaki had clearly been piped up in the microwave).. Â Just rancid..
Chicken Fingers.. Â This was the best of the bunch, which is not saying much, they were hot, crispy and pretty tasty (a bit greasy) but what can you expect at 11:00 at night? Â So, these were OK..
Drinks.. Â Well, Scorpion Bowls with my Brother. Â My GF and other friend just had beers. Â Scorpion Bowls were OK (to me, seemed to have a little bit more juice than I normally would expect in one) but they were good. Â And, we NEVER waited for drinks and this place was BUSY. Â I wish I Â knew our servers name (If you read this, Brunette, about 5'5, probably about 38-40) (Seems creepy to put this, I know, but I really want her to get the credit she deserves).. Â This most certainly would have been a ONE star review (at best) if it was not for her..
I will put a disclaimer.. Â I have been here several times (grew up in the area) and have had decent food late night here.. Â But this food was SO bad this time around I would consider not ever going back to eat.. Â REALLY bad folks..
Decent Chinese/Polynesian joint off Route 1 in Dedham. Â From the looks of the place, it's been there since at least the 1970s, and it hasn't been updated much.
Dim lighting inside with some fishtanks and a handful of plasmas in the bar. Â Pretty decent and strong drinks. Â Unfortunately, I didn't have time to eat, but I'll take the others reviewers' at their words and guess that it's fair to good. Â
I had a couple of mai tais there at like 3pm on a weekday afternoon and enjoyed myself just fine. Â I'd go back for another mai tai.
I've gone here a lot since I work close by and its a fairly decent chinese restaurant and bar. Â Usually on Friday nights its packed with locals and usual people who drink at Chinese restaurants. Â
The food is very tasty (as most Chinese places are) and the service is better than most Chinese restaurants. Â Sometimes the servers don't get things right and are picky about what they can and cannot do with regards to serving people.
The paintings on the wall make it seem like your about to be in a weird movie and two seedy characters are going to plan a crime over scorpion bowls and chicken fingers. Â It looks very fancy, but only if it were 1980.
If you grew up in or around Dedham, like I did, this is the "Mom's cooking" of Chinese food. Â Even if Mom wasn't the best cook, it was still her cooking. Â It's got a quaint towniness that makes it a "must do" for out-of-towners returning to their local roots. Â They do some things well, like appetizers items and rice, and other, more gourmet things are best enjoyed elsewhere. Â The cheesy decor, potent drinks and overall ambiance (especially in the lounge), combined with the decent food makes it a fun experience with a high unintended comedy factor. Â Â Not recommended for health nuts.
Review Source:Disappointing first time. Drove by this place a million times and finally decided to try it out. When we first walked in the place was jointed with people playing Keno and sucking back rum cocktails. Weird but I can dig this I guess. The restaurant itself was full of people and the décor was super outdated. But again not a big deal. Not looking for anything fancy at a Chinese restaurant. It was actually kind of fun and felt like we had traveled back in time. The menu had a lot to choose from and two pages dedicated to just cocktails that were relatively inexpensive at that. All is good at this point.  We started with a couple of soups which came right out. I asked the waiter if he could bring out some scallions to toss in the soup. He said didn't know what scallions were and they didn't have any. First off, how can you work in a restaurant (especially a Chinese restaurant) and not know what scallions are?? And second, he could have a least attempted to ask the kitchen (which obviously has scallions) but instead he proceeded to his next table. Next he brings out our beef dish. We only ordered two dishes mind you. About half way through the dish the waiter comes by to let us know that the chicken lo mein is taking longer b/c chicken takes longer to cook. Tiny bits of chicken don't take long to cook, chief! He could have just been honest and said that there was a mix in the kitchen and the food should be out shortly instead of some dumbass lie about chicken cooking longer. By the time the chicken came out we had finished the dish that we had and were full. We didn't even take a bite of the chicken lo mein just had him box it up.
1 star for service. 3 stars for the food. I gave this place two stars but am willing to go back and give it another try and up the rating if the deserved. The food that I actually tasted was not half bad. I'll just try to get a different waiter or just join up with the Keno heads at the bar..........
First impression: great scorpion bowl on the cheap, but how the hell do they get away with calling this "food"?! Inedible.
Second impression: relaxing lounge ambiance, good drinks, and with the food, you gotta know what to order. Some dishes are decent, others are repulsive. Note that I did not say any were "good." Or at least any I've tried, that is. Once we actually had to ask for an ice cold dish to be microwaved. The waitress did so, acting as if this was no big deal. Ummm...?!
Not bad for Dedham, but go the extra mile into the city, pay less, and leave satisfied. Food is 1-2 stars, service is 2-3 stars, and ambience is 4-5 stars. If you know what to expect you won't be as horrified as I was the first time around.
Terrible... Just Terrible. For their prices, TERRIBLE! Better to order from a takeout place. (Read below if you have time)
I've lived in West Roxbury for a couple of years now and always passed by that "place" wondering why there wasn't that many customers. Always assumed it was because it looked shady, but now I know.
We ordered Sweet and Sour shrimp, scallion "pizza", and a dish with imported mushrooms and shrimp with oyster sauce. Sweet and Sour shrimp is 80% batter and 5 pieces, the highlight of that dish was probably the few chunks of pineapple they put under the shrimp. The mushroom/shrimp dish were precooked shrimp soaked with oyster sauce that clearly was microwaved to serve. Scallion pancake was 4 small pieces, at best they were average. For $30+... Hope you get the point.
If you are coming just for a few drinks with some appetizers and there are no other place near you, I guess it is the place to go. If you are here for their specialty plates... Run.
This place is NOT the place to go with a decent sized group. They will NOT split the bill for you as they write everything out by hand, and insist on having ONE person put EVERYTHING on ONE credit card. That is slightly expensive when your bill totals over $250. What's worse is that they're not even ashamed of how they do business and won't try and help make it less difficult for everyone involved.
Aside from the service and the food being incredibly slow, the food is quite good and the drinks are alright, although they have almost no beer selection whatsoever and they only offer several mixed drinks, all of which are exotic.
Unfortunately, the service kind of ruins the experience.
I've been accused of going to the Tahiti purely for comedic reasons, but I really do enjoy it. The food and drinks are cheap, and portions (yes, of booze too) are fantastic.
It hasn't changed much, because I don't think it needs to. Completely non-judgmental, It serves the purpose of being a greasy dive, and thats why I go back.
It isn't perfect, but it's relaxing and fun. Give it a shot.
Best Chinese food in the area.
If you like cheesy interior fake-tahitian mural type places, you're gonna be in for a treat! If you just wanna play some keno, sip on a mai tai and grub on some REALLY yummy chinese food, then you're STILL in for a treat!!!
House fried rice  is soooooooo good.. Strong Mai Tais, and perfect for people watching....I'll leave that up to your imagination...
You can totally go in your sweatpants, pajamas, whatever, No one cares. The games are always on the TV, and the food and drink are awesome.
The Tahiti is The sh*t.
The servers are friendly. The food is good. I haven't been disappointed here. The portions are ridiculously large and the prices are dirt cheap.
But the cocktails! The cocktail menu itself is very extensive. They serve up classic Polynesian cocktails that taste great but are also loaded. Get the Zombie or the Suffering Bastard- so good and strong.
The interior is a kitchy Tahitian paradise.
The Tahiti is huge and also has a huge parking lot.
LOVE IT!
Yum Yum Yum! I LOVE CHINESE and if you make good chinese, im coming back for more.
First visit -Ordered a Pu Pu platter for 2, chow mein, and chicken fried rice. It was 4 of us! We inhaled as much as we could and took the rest home.
Second visit - Ordered a Pu Pu platter for 2, shrimp fried rice, and beef with brocolli. Party of 4 again. We were not big fans of the beef with broc -it didn't have much flavor... but still enjoyed our meal and had left overs.
Good portions, good prices! Can't beat that! OH, and the drinks are kind of yummy as well. psst, get the Scorpion bowl!!!
Never coming back here! This decor hasn't been changed since the 70's or something! My God! What a sad place!
Service- While the girl in the lottery stand or whatever was miserable, our waiter was very nice (probably the only reason for the star), his hygiene wasn't though.
Food- I ordered chicken fried rice, which was worse than ordering from a take-out place. When my boyfriend ordered the chicken tenders the server said "You shouldn't order those, they're spoiled". Ok, what? Then, why are they hanging on to them?! That just made us vomit. We quickly ate what we could and left the hell out of that place!
Decor- I'm not wasting my typing here, it's just horrible.
Price- I don't even remember because we were just trying to get out of there!
My advice is to not go....just don't go.
For me, good drinks don't taste like hard liquor and can be slurped like juice. I've been to Tahiti twice and have had about 5 of their drinks including Mai Tai, Scorpion Bowl, Pina Colada, London Sour, etc. Though they all tasted mildly different from each other, the hard liquor is overwhelming and makes it a bit of a chore to finish. I wouldn't rate it 5 stars for cleanliness but I wouldn't complain about the place seeming un-sanitary either.
My American friend insisted on getting Beef Teriyaki, and it was pretty good actually. The chicken wings aren't bad. But overall I agree with the other Yelpers-- you come here as a last resort to get hammered, and absolutely never for the food.
Came here a couple months ago with a friend for dinner. Â The atmosphere is pretty steezy. Â There are hardly any windows, instead a large mural on the wall of an island landscape. Â The furniture is mostly loungey and out-dated. Â I got the feeling that the interior decorating was done in the late 70's or early 80's and never got updated. Â It would have been cool back then but it is way past it's time now.
The thing I did enjoy about the restaurant were the drinks. Â Their drink menu was large and they had a variety of fun tropical drinks (Mai Tais, Pogo Sticks, Scorpion Bowls, etc.), and I was pretty happy with the ones that I ordered.
That was where my happiness ended though because the food was awful. Â I wasn't very hungry so I went for the cheapest thing on the menu: the pork-chow-mein. Â Big mistake. Â It looked bad and tasted worse, not to mention how unsightly it was. Â I didn't even manage to eat more than one bite. Â The appetizers that came on the side were alright but nothing to write home about. Â I don't think I'd come here for a meal again.
So I'd like to note that this review is really for the bar. I did not venture into the food menu very deeply.
So we were looking for a kitschy tiki themed bar that was open late night after deciding to not to go to the LUPEC event because we were running so terribly late. So we rounded up some friends and tried out the bar. We had a great time and ended up staying till close.
First off I have to say the atmosphere was exactly what we were looking for. The giant Polynesian mural on the wall was awesome. I also really liked the layout of the bar with lots of small tables and funky leather chairs on wheels. The only disappointment was that only one drink came in a cheesy glass. The rest were in typical barware.
The drinks were tall and very strong and about $6 each. So I was sold. The Mai Thai, Pineapple Passion & Suffering Bastard were passable. The Dr. Funk of Tahiti was surprisingly good and actually contained Absinthe unlike most versions which just have rum. The Planters Punch was also good and didn't just taste like alcoholic Hawaiian Punch.
The most notable drink of the night had to be the Love Potion. It was made blended and apparently they threw in a big chunk of banana in while they were making it. I say this because the consistency of the drink was rather viscous and combined with its color made all of our minds go straight to the gutter.
For food we ordered a Pu-Pu platter for 3 which was more than enough for the 4 of us as well as an order of fried rice. The fried rice wasn't very good and had little flavor. The chicken wings and chicken fingers were good although its pretty hard to screw those up. The boneless spare ribs and beef teriyaki were passable. The egg rolls were not very good and lacked any real flavor. So I think if you stick to the fried standards you'll probably do ok for the food.
The home of the killer Mai Tai. Â I actually like the food here and have never had a bad experience with it. Â The bar area and the restaurant as a whole are right out of the 70's. Â The lounge chairs and tables are low riders but are actually comfortable. Â Some of the waitresses have seen better days but it adds to the character of the place. Â The regulars come in between 3 and 5 and it gets pretty lively. Â I've never made it past 10pm, thanks in part to the mai tais, so I don't know about the late night crowd.
The best bet for food are the dinner plates. Â My favorite is the pork fried rice, gen gau's and pork strips with a side of chicken fingers. Â You can't beat the price and you'll be taking most it home because of the large portions.
The waitresses are quick to serve you but depending on the time of day the bartender may need some coaxing to get your order.
How can you not love this place? Â It's like walking right into an Austin Powers movie. Â (Probably swingers and all).
Big, over-sized, 60's inspired (or actually from the sixties, since my mom seems to think she used to go here) lounge chairs.
Okay, the Chinese food is mediocre... Â but who goes for the food? Â Go for a Mai Tai or a Scorpion Bowl and just get some fried rice to absorb some of the alcohol.
Seriously, two stars if you go for the food.
If you like tacky decor, welcome home. Tahiti reminds me of a dark, cheesy theme bar in Vegas or something. No windows and low light. It's perfect for getting totally shitfaced in the middle of the day and not feeling one ounce of remorse for your untimely drinking. At least that's the best I can figure.
The few times I've gone with friends who live in/around the Dedham area, we've always sat in the lounge. There you can partake in a few rounds of Keno, order food, and of course booze.
Like many Chinese/Asian restaurants of this ilk, there are plenty of boozy concoctions to choose from with names like Zombie, Head Hunter, Suffering Bastard, and Brain Blanker (ok, that last one isn't on their menu).
I will say the Mai Tai, Pina Colada, Pineapple Passion and Chi Chi are quite good. And, usually, mighty powerful. For about $6 a drink, you get your money's worth.
Food. Yes they serve it. Quite frankly I don't like much of what I have had here. There are tons of other places with much better Asian/Chinese cuisine. I do recall liking the eggrolls or, was it spring rolls? Damn. See, I suppose if you augment your eating with some drinking - you're sure to not care too much (or maybe it's remember too much) of what you ate. ;)
First of all this place is in Dedham.
(minus 50 stars)
After driving around for over an hour Jeffrey "I'm drunk and I forgot the directions" H and I finally managed to find our way. Who picked this place seriously? We pull into the parking lot of a cement box with no windows. So Sketch. Â Even sketchier? The 200lb doors. Love it.
We completely ignore the hostess trying to get out attention and manage to find the party of 11 of our closest Yelpers. We just followed the drunken slurs to the back room. Obvs. We sit down and immediately order a scorpion bowl to split. Who cares if it's supposed to be for 4... We had a lot of catching up to do.
There were about a million lunch special to choose from. I'm probably the most indecisive person ever so this was not necessarily a good thing for me. Oh wait! General Gau's chicken? Sounds good, I'm in. I also consulted Jeffrey on what he was ordering to make sure it was something different and set up a deal for splitsies.
Our food was literally ready within minutes. Not really a sign of gourmet cuisine but once again this place is a hole in the middle of Dedham. The food was ok. I preferred Jeffrey's crab rangoon to my doughy chicken but just pour duck sauce (or soy sauce with blood) over everything and it all tastes fine.
Our meal was concluded with a  "birthday" treat for Joc (the end of a roll on a plate covered in cherries and pineapples with a candle) and a reading of all our fortune cookies.... IN BED!
It was only upon exiting that we realized what this place was hiding!
TATTOO VENDING MACHINEEEESSS!!!
After trading in all our $1 bills for every quarter this place had to offer we gathered in the bathroom and placed them on the only logical place... our necks. Hot. I've always wanted a heart with roses, a sword and banner that says "Love". I'm thinking about making it permanent.
Would I recommend this place to a friend or ever go out of my way to return. Probably not. It was the company that made this such a memorable experience.
Despite the most averageness of this restaurant in terms of quality of food--it was the company and experience that made the trip to Dedham worth it.
First of all, what the heck is Dedham? This I will never know.
Entering the Tahiti Restaurant is like a trip back to the gym. Attempting to pull open the large wooden doors is like lifting a free-weight you once could. "Wow, this didn't look THAT heavy," you think to yourself as beads of sweat roll down your brow and you expect to be entering some Legends of the Hidden Temple scene.
Inside is a windowless space full of a variety of tables, local yokels, KENO games, and general awkwardness.
In the VIP lounge (and by VIP I mean back room. I think the staff knew this Yelp crowd would be loud, obnoxious, and inappropriate--standard) I found my company waiting for me. "Oh hey guys, just an hour late. My flight was delayed." I don't think they really minded too much since they were all half in the bag at this point...
The menu is overwhelming but convenient for ignorant Americans like me. So many options to mix and match for your Chinese food tastes and very affordable. Saving money on food makes a Scorpion Bowl for 4 (4 being myself and Jenna C.) seem that much more inexpensive.
The food arrived. It looked alright but tasted like cafeteria food. Given the taste combined with the FAST service, I imagine their kitchen to be full of buckets and troughs with giant spoons ready for scoopin' all the ready-made delicacies.
We had a "birthday" girl with us. Thank god it wasn't really her birthday but rather a ploy to get something for free...because her birthday surprise was a stale sub roll cut in half and decorated with cherries and pineapple chunks. The artistic use of toothpicks resulted in quite a creepy Mr. Potato Head reject.
The lunch was concluded with a trip to the fake tattoo dispenser. Most of my party decided to apply their new tattoos in the bathroom before we departed. I on the other hand did not have the strength to brave the abominable odor coming from stall #2 of the men's room. Old men with walkers look cute and innocent, but don't be fooled. They pack a powerful punch!
The first stop to our Saturday adventure, most of us arrive here on time, except for JEFFREY and JENNA, apparently Jeffrey was still drunk, anyways... I wasn't expecting the food to be great, since the reason we came here it was to experience and it was fun.
The service was good, very friendly staff, my meal wasn't very good, especially the pork fried rice, but I'm picky when it comes to Chinese food since I grew up eating good Chinese food. The menu is extensive and I had a hard time choosing what to eat, where were Ma' and Pa' when you need them most?, where was my aunt? She always orders the fried stuff that I like, most important WHERE WERE MY CHILES GUERITOS?!?. Cut to me going through the menu, Jesus Christ, so many choices and most of them don't look familiar. I was all set with sharing some lunch special, but then we thought it wasn't going to be enough, again went through the menu, then Joc - or Meh? - I can never tell! - Â told me about the last page of the menu, okay I'm ready to order.
All in all it was a fun enjoyable lunch, would I come back? No, unless it is to celebrate Joc's "birthday" again.
Would I recommend it? yes, why? Because you have to see the birthday cake, I would post a picture of it, but no, you have to see it.
It's funny to think that we went here on purpose--not like we drove by and saw it and decided to go in. In fact, we made reservations to go here, so this trip was preplanned several weeks in advance. And we even had a chance to look at their website [that looks like it was from a Geocities template] and STILL decided to go.
So after a long trip from Cambridge, past two tolls, and after a night of heavy whiskey drinking, I'm up and out of the house on a Saturday by 11:30AM. One of the strange things I noticed when I looked at the place was that there were no windows at all--not even on the front door--so it felt as if we were arriving through the back entrance, where the servers smoked up or where they dumped buckets of swill. Or that people that went there didn't care much for the outside world while they're eating fried garbage. Plus, much like Kowloon, there were no Asian patrons except for the .5 of me. As soon as I entered, I felt nauseous and I went straight to the bathroom and was knocked over by the synthetic pineapple Glade Plug-ins in the bathroom.
The menu had the thick paper that was used in children's books from the 80s and the turquoise blue print found in the 50s when they discovered that you could print in something other than black ink. Plus, the Tiki glass drawings on the drink menu are a nice touch, but the only drink that came in a festive glass was the four-person scorpion bowl with little painted mermaids with little painted boy chests sans nipples.
Our waiter was a regular Soupy Sales and gave the two people sharing a four person scorpion bowl a double straw for the further away drinking freeloaders. He probably just knew some Scorpion bowl photos were about to be taken for more facebook photo album padding.
So after that, we order food. I ordered the luncheon special where you could pick five different appetizers for $8.10. It was probably a wise because the hangover I was still harboring always needs greasy food and 30 minutes in the reading room to evacuate from my system, as it were. Most of the appetizers I ordered were of the wonton wrapped variety--egg rolls, crag rangoons, fried wontons--but my plate was mostly stacked with piles of fried wontons wrapped up with nothing on the inside. Bleh. But I guess I wasn't expecting anything more or less.
And then after we told Soupy that it was Jocelyn's birthday, he jauntily strides in with the stubby end of a baguette propped up on a place with cherry eyes and a birthday candle, surrounded by pineapple chunks and cherries. Awesome. Also, if you're a senior citizen, they have a Keno lounge. Not sure why the old ladies sitting behind us decided on the banquet room instead of the Keno lounge, but I guess they wanted to sit next to each other and drink Pina Coladas and eat slices of a baguette on a Saturday afternoon while complaining about their ex-husbands. I wonder if that's what I have to look forward to.
The temporary tattoos were a hit with the group I was with. I tried to stick a butterfly with a rose-filled center on my arm and didn't succeed at making it stick. I seriously fail at life.
When we started preparing to plan for a day out with friends playing a little indoor mini golf while being surrounded by screaming children, foam rocks, and ICP clowns...we needed to find somewhere delightful for lunch. The hobo kindly recommended Tahiti and we were off. The drive to Dedham was fairly quick and the restaurant was easy to find. We are ushered to a back room where 7 of our guests had already arrived. We sat down and our waiter arrived, eager to take our drink orders. He simply pointed at me and said "SUFFERING BASTARD FOR YOU!" and then "ZOMBIE" for my boyfriend. Under the description for the zombie, it was similar to that of Kowloon, "a real dirty stinker". Well. Alright then. More of our guests arrived, scorpion bowls with 8 foot long straws were distributed and we were well on our way to order.
I ordered the S6. General Gau's, pork fried rice, and crab rangoon. The chicken was pretty weird. Boy had ordered the spicy orange chicken and had a similar result. The chicken appeared to be cooked but the surrounding breading was a tad doughy. It tasted fine, but felt like something that would give you a pretty awful case of the bellyaches. I managed to eat all my chicken and not get sick. Fantastic. I then followed up my order with a drink choice of the Dr.Funk. Both of my drinks tasted like 80% rum, with a hint of juice. It was like jet fuel, and I wound up leaving feeling just a tad buzzed.
Our waiter asked me whose birthday it was. It wasn't anyone's, but seeing as how Joke was the closest minority to me, I pinned it on her. Our waiter later came out with a plate of pineapple cubes, with a crusty end of a baguette fit with maraschino cherry eyes and a candle on it's head for her "birthday" and proceeded to sing. Perfect. I sang too! We then went out to the lobby, and for just 50 cents! You can get temporary tattoos fit for a neck. D helped apply boy's "monkey stirring a skull cauldron engulfed in flames" and Lizard helped me apply my "liberty angel of death" and we were on our merry way!
The...End.
The first thing I noticed about this place was that the big wooden doors were abnormally heavy. The second thing was that the bathroom reeked of pineapple and piss. Thirdly, this place has no windows. I guess they were too busy picking out iridescent pink Asian forest scene wallpaper to notice that structural flaw.
We sat down in the back room away from the keno lounge and other patrons. I think they knew we would be trouble. Our waiter was awesome, looking at each of us and declaring what we needed to drink.
"You... suffering bastard. You... zombie."
Yes, please.
We ordered some food and decided it was my birthday (it was not). Everyone got their food and poked at the weird fried things on our plates sitting on top of pork fried rice. The drinks were packing a punch though - my Mai Tai felt like I was taking a shot with each sip.
At the end of the meal, our awesome waiter came out with a plate full of pineapple chunks and cherries surrounding - I kid you not - a birthday candle shoved into the butt of stale french bread. He sang "happy birthday" to me and everyone clapped and then stared in amazement at the ingenuity of the restaurant.
(What do we do with all this stale bread? I know! Spear in two cherries on the side for eyes and stick a candle in it for the birthday girl! She'll love it!!!)
It was an experience, to say the least. The cashier at the front was kind enough to give us all change for the fake tattoo machine so we could apply them on our necks in the smelly bathroom and look badass for the rest of the day. Next time though, I'm playing keno in the lounge.
We went here last night because our favorite place in West roxbury was closed...WHAT A MISTAKE!!
While being a really funny out of date place, the food was terrible. (and the drinks were weak.) Â We actually had to tell the waiter that we thought the beef had gone bad. Â It smelled like they had left it out too long. Â All I was thinking after I tried it was I hope I don't get sick! Â
Then when we sent it back we were trying to tell the waiter that it wasn't good and he just kept asking us if we wanted it wrapped. Â He finally took it off our bill but it took at least 5-10 min to explain to him we didn't want it and it was gross.
I wouldn't tell anyone to go here...ever. Â If there were 0 stars...you get my point.
This place is hilarious, just like the 'Amazing' porn shop if you happen to be in Dedham Christmas shopping or for whatever reason people go to Dedham you have to go to Tahiti for food or drinks or both. They have the best-worst decorating of any Asian themed restaurant around. There are these really surreal 1960's little table and chair sets in their 'lounge' area that is decorated with south pacific murals and keno screens. The beers are cheap and the 'Dr. Funk' will knock you on your won ton's. The food is standard Chinese, I like their egg foo yung and spicy orange chicken. I remember this place from growing up and the only difference over 20+ years is that you can't smoke inside now.
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