Green Mill

Cool, swanky, and chill vibes all around. I love this place.

What I don't love is that they only take American Express (which I don't have and rarely carry cash). Make sure you hit up an ATM before swinging by.

I come here for the fat babies on tuesday nights, they play  really great live 1920's jazz music. The place is alive with dancing, everyone all dressed up and drunk. I'd love to come here more often but cocktails are $12-$13, i'd be broke if I came as often as i wanted!

Let me explain to you why this place is terrible.  Hear me out.

Yes, I know they have the namesake, and the history and the glamour and all that.

But let me share with you, why, of all places in Chicago, you can go get a drink OR listen to live music, including Jazz, you should avoid this place like the plague.

So, I just got back home from the Green Mill.  I like to check out different bars in Chicago and the Green Mill is close to me.  But I have been not so excited to visit it because the first time I was there is was a bit...  Creepy.

I remember there was a bad playing and my friends wanted to introduce me to this place.  I was like, "Cool!"

But quickly I get a weird vibe from it.

There was some weird, "No Talking" policy while the bands played.  There was also this guy that walked around and tried to impose weird rules on people like where they were supposed to sit, even if they were already sitting at a table with their friends etc.

It was, really, a creepy kind of environment.

So I let it go.  Maybe it was a weird night.  And tonight I decided to spread a little love and support the local bar instead of going to a 4am bar that I was familiar with.

I made a mistake.

Here's what happened.

I went a got like 3 drinks.  The first was wine,and the next 2 were PBRs.  I didn't drink more than that.  I was chill.  I wasn't drunk or belligerent or anything.  I had a long day so drinking was something I didn't get to until very late.

So.  Around 3:30 am I order my last beer.  They called last call so I figured, "cool.  I'll get my last round."

I'm not a fast drinker.  Then I watch this happen.

10 minutes later some Billy Crystal looking guy gets a beer for some guy who must be part of the "in crowd".

I don't mind.  Cool!

But about 2 minutes later that same guy comes over to me and says, "Drink up.  It's time to go."

I said, "You guys are a 4am bar right?  I got a little time.  Don't worry.  I'll be out by 4."

He replies, "No man.  Sorry.  You gotta go!"

I pointed out, "You just got your friend a beer.  Don't worry.  I'll be out soon."

The funny thing is, I wasn't even doing anything but sitting there, chilling and drinking by beer.  I have no idea why this guy was paying so much attention to me.

"Now you're just being a dick," he said.  "Time to Go! We can close whenever we want."

I replied, "You're being the dick.  I'm not even doing anything but minding my own business.  I'll be out soon."

So he grabs my beer and starts shouting at me as he throws it in the trash.

I'm thinking WTF?  Is this really happening?

Next thing you know this big Gorilla security guy is grabbing me and trying to push me out the door physically.

I'm like, "Seriously, dude?  I'm not even doing anything.  Take your hands off me."

So basically, these guys served me a beer, threw it away after serving it to me, and then had their bouncer try to force me out of the bar.  For what?   Trying to drink my beer and not be rushed out at 3:40 from a 4am bar.  

If I was the owner, I would fire the staff.  I would fire the billy crystal manager dude and replace him with a person who is interested in making sure that people have a good time, and less interested in making sure his, "Cool hipster friends" can drink in the bar alone without having ,"That not cool, random guy I don't know" being thrown out for no reason.

If you are the bouncer.  Your "mentor", as you called him, is shit.  You may be trying to improve your life but that guy will only hold you back.  Ask yourself, does someone who is confident in his life and who is a master of his own destiny spend time trying to shit on other people, throw his weight around and bully people trying to have a good time at the establishment he manages?  You don't wanna be like that, dude.  That guys is a loser who lives his life being angry, resentful and afraid.  I know you want better than that.

Average person, Avoid Green Mill like the Plague.  This place is more interested in taking your money and catering to it's "cool friends" than it is in giving you a good experience.  I would say, there are so many other jazz and music venues in the city, please, do yourself a favor and explore them first.  Green Mill is terrible.

2 times I have been here.  Both Times have been shit.  And I live literally 3 or 4 blocks from there.

Go somewhere else.

PS -  If you're wondering if this is just me, please read some of the other reviews.  Apparently the staff are shit and I am not the only person to experience it.

I think that, if the owner knows this and does nothing, it kinda says a lot about his attitude.  If I owned a bar that had shitty service as a repetitive theme, I would probably take charge and make changes.  However, If I was just worried about making money and didn't give a shit about my patrons I would just let my staff "slide and suck".

I hope this place (and it's owner) are better than that.