This is the King of Dive Bars. Long live the King! The bathrooms are shitty. Sometimes literally. The floor is sticky. They smoke. They play pool. They get blasted in here. They get into crazy arguments that border into fights (sometimes co-ed!) then they hug and make up. There's an Irish dude who serves you the drinks who you can tell has been through an adventure or two. The drinks are cheap, the jukebox is limited. WOOHOO!!!! This place is the shiznit! Cool people and the place to dive it up. Mac's Club Who?
Review Source:We just stopped in the liquor store but took a peek at the attached dive bar too. the liquor store was meh. The prices were too high for what you get and the selection was way disappointing although I guess understandable for the tiny space it occupies. Not my first choice for a dive bar or a liquor store in this neighborhood.
Review Source:If you were looking for that quintessential dive, look no further, Happy's is here to oblige.
Happy's is a spot for the good ol' boys and girls, many of them now wayward wanderers leading them to this mishmash watering hole for a communal connection and a game of pool. The bartender, Foxy, addresses you with a familiarity like you're cousins and with a hearty dose of affection, he'll pour you another.
Whether it's Ludacris, Boys II Men, or Bruce Springsteen, the contemporary TouchTunes jukebox has something for everyone, even the beer-swilling, old-man regular. "Motown Philly" might incite an (impressive) dance-off between the least likely characters and with a ring of the old-fashioned register, you're only a bar-stool away from a stranger's even stranger story.
Happy's is a slice of life and a comfort blanket for many. The raspy voices echoing from ongoing conversations point to one too many nights spent in this smoke-filled cocktail lounge and with cigarette's in hand, the hoarsely-voiced clientele shares chuckles and shameless flirtation. Happy's is a refuge for the people you can't even imagine outside of this bar. The regulars here are as present as the random decor on the walls. For them, this bar never closes.
I've been to lots of dive bars in S. Florida, but I think this place takes the cake - In a good, down and dirty dive bar kinda way.
Several of us decided to stop here after attending an event at nearby Trio On the Bay. Â The place was small and a bit cramped for all the yelpers that were packed in here, and a few of us felt overdressed! Â I ordered up a beer from the bar ($3.50 domestic bottles), and when they rang me up, I noticed they were using one of the older chrome cash registers with the big push buttons that "click" and stay depressed when they press them, and that has a bell that rings when the cash drawer opens...You know, the ones that were all the rage back in the 1960s and 70s! Â They did have an MP3 jukebox that was pretty modern and updated, but the rest of this place looks like it hasn't been touched, or possibly cleaned, in decades.
I went to use the restroom, and used the stall with the urinal in it. Â It was one of the old school full height urinals that went from chest height all the way to the floor. Â It was filled with ice. Â Not because they were trying to be hip and cool and offer an ice filled urinal similar to the ones at The News Cafe, it was because there was no running water and it was the only way to keep the smell down. Â There were several large cracks and broken spots in the urinal and a few bits of the wall around it missing completely. When I began to use it, a swarm of small flies scattered! Ha ha.
Luckily the sink did work and they had a soap dispenser and working hand dryer, but no hot water, and the pea green wall sink looked like something straight out of the early 1970s. Â
I returned to the bar and started noticing all their signage "You #$%^ with me, you @#$% with the whole trailer park!" among others, and most of the people who were here before we arrived were definitely "characters". Â In fact, one of them kept looking at our group and mumbling, and even shook his fist at a some of them a few times. Â He chain smoked the entire time we were here and I'm quite sure he was drunk out of his mind. Â When he stood up and walked over to the jukebox, I noticed that the backs were blown out of both the legs of his bib overalls.
Attached to this bar is a full liquor store, and I do mean attached. Â While there a separate entrance to the liquor store if you enter from the parking lot, Â there is actually an open doorway between the bar and liquor store. Â Â They have a flat screen TV in the bar area, a few old school arcade games (including one with Ms. Pac Man, Space Invaders, Frogger, Donkey Kong and a few other 1980s-era games on it). Â In the back room there is a pool table and an old school tube-type TV sitting on a low shelf. Â
If you're looking for a true dive bar experience, with absolutely no frills and that's maybe even a bit seedy, this is the place for you! Â A solid 4 stars all the way!!
Few bars survive in North Bay Village and Normandy Isles. Â Why that is, I'll never know. Â With the amount of new high rise condos contributing to the heightened density of this waterfront hamlet, there should be no reason why a couple extra bars couldn't survive here.
But for the time being, this area is ruled by Schuckers and it's little punk step brother, Happy's Stork Lounge.
It's definitely a dive, but contrary to Arwen G's observation; I found the inside rather clean and odorless. Â Women do have a better sense of smell, so maybe that fact contributes to the discrepancy.
Extra points for the baseball and hockey cards laminated onto the bar counter top accompanied by early 80's pix of Miami studs with beach babes in french cut swim suits! Â Oh and I love how the place has an open doorway to it's neighboring liquor store. Â You'll never have to worry about running out of Slim Jim's or Funions to accompany your PBR here !
I figured Happy's Stork was an appropriate choice for my 400th review, as we did enjoy a rather epic after-party here the other night.
This place reminds me of Ms. Newby's - a Panama City Beach dive bar near and dear to my heart - so I immediately took to it. It's a liquor store and bar - the perfect combo, since every libation under the sun is just steps away for the bartenders.
My +1 and I were the first to arrive (on the recommendation of a fellow Yelper) - and yes, it was a little uncomfortable walking into a place like this in our cute little outfits ... but the awkwardness quickly disappeared, and a whole hoard of fellow Yelpers soon joined.
The jukebox was ours - we danced, we sang, we drank. The bartender was great, took excellent care of us and helped all the Yelpers feel at home. The place has CHARACTER, all the way around.
So yeah, definitely an epic evening. Happy's Stork is my kinda dive.
The one downside - smoking. As with any bar of this nature, your clothes, hair, purse, etc. become infested with secondhand smoke. But, still worth enduring for a good time at Happy's Stork.
After party! Â
From Trio a group of yelpers met here.
Located at a very small plaza, thankfully it has a lighted sign you can see from the street. Â Must admit I was a little hesitant to walk in. Â Sign says 'liquor store' so it confused us a bit but, once inside and with friends, we had a fun time. Â
Jukebox with a good selection of music did not stop playing. Â
Beer was around $4 and drinks $5.
Very laid back, come as you are type of place. Â
Bartender was friendly, quick with drinks but take note, there's a rule... Â 'everyone must have a drink in their hands while there'. Â But don't worry, they respect designated drivers, for those, he prepared water with lime (to look like a vodka seltzer) so you don't feel left out.
Very cool on his part.
The fact of this being next to the liquor store has it's benefits. Â If the don't have what you ordered, either you or the bartender can take a few steps and get it - mostly beer.
Cool place, specially with friends.
I'm a sucker for a good dive bar and Happy's Stork fits the bill. I came in with a rowdy bunch of Yelpers that were already a bit tipsy from an elite event across the street. Even better.
It's small, it's a hole in the wall, it's dirty, but it's oh-so-divey and I loved it. I guess I should order a beer at a place like this, but I'd been sipping on fruity drinks all night so I went with a bay breeze. How much? Four bucks. No, I'm not kidding. Places in Miami have charged me $15 for the same drink, and this amazing, dumpy little dive bar sold me one for four dollars. Glorious! I'm a cheap date. Two or three of these, and I'm yours. I'm kidding, but seriously...I could have a really good time here.
And we DID have a good time. A great time! Pool table in the back, video game/arcade machines next to the bar, and a smelly racist at the bar wearing overalls and slurring because he had clearly been kicking 'em back. My only gripe was the cigarette smoke. I left smelling like an ashtray and it made my hair disgusting. I also woke up this morning with a sore throat because the smell of the cigarette smoke was so bad. Next time, I'll pop outside for air throughout the evening because this place is too good to pass up if you're in the mood for a good dive.
ok...so after an awesome Elite Event...rumor had it the after party was happening at this place...so..of we went..and yes...it got crazy!
This place is literally a hole in the wall...kinda sketchy nonetheless...but if you go with the right group of people..it can be all sorts of fun!!!
The bartender really hooked us all up with a bunch of shots and free drinks!! and the jukebox was filled with all the right tunes..so much so..it led to some dancing.
Overall , good times!!!
Happy's Stork or as Natasha A. was referring to it all night, "Happy Feet," is the epitome of a true Miami dive.
It smells like crap (and I am not even talking about the actual guy who smelled like crap or feet or cheese, barf!), it has black blinds to block out the sun when it rises and keep the drunks inside, cheap booze, a juke box, a couple of old school video games and the regulars who definitely were overwhelmed by a large squad of Yelpers.
We took over the jukebox because frankly, Evanescence makes my ears bleed and they shouldn't have survived the 90's. Our crew actually filled the jukebox with so much cash it overloaded and shut down for a bit.
As for selection of alcohol, they are pretty stocked seeing that half of the bar is actually a liquor store. They even have Hypnotiq if you want to get all fancy, huh.
The beer selection is typical and I knew I was in trouble when I asked what they have on draft. Nothing. Bottles? I was told everything "but that Sam Adams stuff." So I went for a Guinness and shut my mouth, it's a seedy little dive, my expectations can't be all that high.
What can I say? For what it is, Happy Feet, ahem, Happy's Stork gets the job done!
Since I moved up to North Bay Village I have been trying to find new places to drink closer to home. Happy's is the ultimate in dive bar. Cheapest drinks I've ever had in Miami were here. The people are down to earth and out to have fun without spending the night behind ropes, in tight dresses and maxing out their credit cards.
You can't smoke inside and there is a liquor store connected to the bar. Just in case you want to grab some roadies, I mean, drinks for later at home.
Free parking, cheap drinks, no attitudes and mostly industry people enjoying what's left of their night. I might have to become a regular... Stay tuned...
If you love dives, you will fall in love. Not for the faint of heart or morals. Shady people doing shady things but not so blatantly as to make you uncomfortable. Â Happy's has been in N. Bay Village for what seems like forever, so long that they got "grandfathered" in to the law that prohibits bars from being a certain distance from schools. There is a school a stone's throw away. ROCK ON! Â
The drink are HELL-A affordable. There is a package store attached where you can buy anything from a low quality porn to a Vic's inhaler. It is walking distance from where I live so I can stumble home after having indulged. The bar tenders are cool. Elaine makes the BEST Oatmeal cookie shots.
thursday night, actually friday morning, probably around 2am. go to the happys stork and again, its smoky and dirty as usual. packed with the characters who adorn our crazy-ass city. naturally, everybody is hammered, some people drink beer, some others go with liquor. the bartender is this best, she knows her people. this is a no frills kinda place. one of my favorite things about this bar is the old pictures decorating the bar area, especially those close to the pool table. take a look at those pictures sometime. after this, there will be no doubt in your mind that miami in the 80's triggered the apocalypse.
so, were sitting by the bar drinking guinness and then some vodka and again guinness and this little cycle looped for about 2 hours. someone dropped some money into the jukebox and picked about an hour of prince shit. bad-ass prince from the 80's.
she wore a raaaaaaaaaaaaaaspberry beret
the kind u find in a second hand store...
and i think i know who did that. theres this regular there who has the shiniest biggest gold grill ever. he was jammin to that shit. yup. that guy does not give a fuck about what you think about prince... and hes probably wasted like everybody else so fuck it! then the boricua crowd took control of the tunes. hardcore salsa going on at the happys stork. it was really a show. seriously, like cirque du soleil / fuerza bruta meets el barrio.
the bartender noticed our pattern of consumption so she provided plenty of drinks with grace and almost automatically. she would come by, check on our glasses and if it looked a bit dry, she would be pouring the next one. this the happys stork. where your dreams come true.
dear ronchy little place off the cosway why did i like u so!
driving around looking for new places we stumbled upon this little joint attached to a liquor store
inside we met all sorts of strange people pluss a dog
whatever they didnt have stocked in the bar you could go get from a cooler at the liquor store and take it back to the bar area
everyone that we encountred here was super nice and had an interesting story!
dont expect to go here and like it if you are into south beach's fru fru crowed
this place has a jukebox going with old country music mixed with hip hop depending on whos there that night....i def recomend for anyone who likes dive bars to check this place out they have pool tables and everyones drunk so by the end of the night you all know eachother!
their beer selection was pretty impressive concidering its size and appearance!!! so if theydont have it at the bar swing threw the liquor store and you'll see what i mean (beacuse in real life the bartenders, though super nice arent beer fluent)
recomend you go in at least a group of four for your safty hehe but more so incase you cant handle the fact strangers will talk to you dispite them hitting on u or not.
i didnt give it a five because my chimeys were a bit pricy concidering the location (but still falls in under the beach prices)
p.s. dont forget to talk to the guy at the liquore store he always had something interesting to say and trys to help you out if you seam to be interested in the same stuff he likes hehe
I'm no stranger to dive bars, but I have to admit I was a bit skeptical the first time I walked into this place. Your first impression is probably less like Happy Storks and more like Marabou Storks, (Africans call them undertaker birds if that helps you any). This watering hole reminds me of when I was stationed in Cheyenne, Wyoming and I used to frequent 1 out of only 2 bars in the city. To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, the local "ladies" thought scrunchies were fashionable, would spit dip into empty Mountain Dew bottles, and would tell me things like;
"Did you know we're famous for the world's largest rodeo?"
I think it's funny that they use coasters when the bar looks like it's taken a few direct hits from a XM307 automatic grenade launcher. The "decorations" include baseball cards, in front of me was Bo Jackson and Al Rosen (Jews play professional sports outside of Israel?) and spring break pictures so outdated that the contestants could make a contemporary reunion tour called Grannies Gone Wild. You could spend a good hour laughing at their teased hair, neon bikinis and make-up that could help them pass as clones of Bret Michaels.
The men's room reminds me of the time I took a tour of the USS Los Angeles, the oldest submarine in the US Navy's fleet; monochrome, grimy and uncomfortably small. I don't even think there's a door on the stall.
Being a Dominican York/Nuyorican I instantly recognize that the bartender, Yenecy, is a Big Apple Boricua, but how in the world did she end up in place that even Amy Winehouse would call sleazy? I really don't care why, I'm just grateful. She's a whirlwind of energy, is always smiling, and shares a quality with my brother, Bo; she can talk to anyone about anything. That's a skill lacking in corporate, assembly line bartending that's endemic to Miami. Besides attentive service she hooked me up twice! She gave me 3 free Alabama Slammers (a $9 value) and 10 jukebox credits.
One of my jukebox selections was "Oh Sheila" by Ready for the World.
<a href="/redir?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DwbL2lMn34Oo&s=d894f121b25d8a3d951ec8ff504b29663b5c4380e0f6f727092a17090bf6c40a" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/w…</a>
After everyone yelled out that they love Prince?! Half the bar started dancing, there was only 9 of us (I was tapping my foot so that accounts for the half).
It's still a mystery how Storks has such an astonishing collection of booze, yet slangs them at wholesale prices. I guess it's because it's attached to a liquor store. Or maybe because the regulars only order the big three; Bud, Miller Lite and Corona, and they have no idea what to charge me for the "fancy" beers.
Some of the fancy beers by the bottle include; Franzikanzer, Newcastle, Stella, and Spaten. Having just returned from Amsterdam, I ordered my usual Dutch breakfast...Hash Coffee and a Spacecake please....no but for real I asked for a Grolsch.
For those of you that prefer spirits; Belvedere Intense Vodka, Pyrat Rum, Tanqueray Rangpur Gin, Bushmills Irish Whiskey, and Cachaça 51 for making "Happy Style" Caipirinhas were at most $6. Most drinks falling between $3-4 range.
We got completely inebriated and the bill came up to a modest $40 (for 3 doods). Â As we left I yawned and said to my co-worker Yelper Mike D., "am I too drunk to work on patients?" the entire bar responded with an audible gasp and demanded to know what hospital I worked at...fun times. I give Storks my stamp of approval as an ideal pre- or after party location.
***As you're leaving be careful of the dash cams and don't speed over the causeways, the North Bay Village po-pos collect their pensions on the causeway!
Here I sit, hair radiating the stale stench of cigarettes and liver furiously churning out the toxins of too many glasses of cheap wine, as I bask in the hungover afterglow of another happy night at Happy's Stork Lounge.
Not for the faint of heart, Happy's is a true dive bar - dirty and rough with a whiff of genuine, testorone-fueled danger. Â Not some mildly funky joint where hipsters in ironic glasses sip PBRs and wax philosophical about ridiculous bands with ridiculous names. This is the real deal, a mix of neighborhood locals and out-and-out riff raff. Think Cheers, but with a hardcore rap sheet.
The place is long and narrow with a real juke box - as opposed to one of those pansy-ass computers. Â And if you dare to drop a few quarters on some tunes, select your songs with care. One ill-timed Bryan Adams ballad could result in a quick crack of a pool cue across your head.
If your drunkeness tends to be accompanied by nostalgia for childhood pleasures, Happy's features not one, but two full-sized arcade games. And if you've never seen a coked-up hooker going for the top Galaga ranking, you simply haven't lived, my friend.
Happy's restrooms are titillatingly frightening, imbuing the place with an extra element of danger. Will there be soap? Is there any toilet paper? Will you catch Hepatitis? A mutant species of crabs? It's anyone's guess. The women's room has a skylight. Which is just weird. And kind of creepy. Makes me wonder if we've got some really nimble peeping Toms in the neighborhood. But it's all part of the Happy's charm.
And perhaps the best part of Happy's is the bartender - Yanecy, who somehow remains ladylike while corraling the more deviant behaviors of Happy's patrons.
Aaah, Happys. How I love thee. Never change, you dirty old whore of a bar.
I've been meaning to review Happy's as its located down the street from a friend's place and we occasionally walk here after having Drinks By The Bay at her place. Â Honestly, Happy's is the best dive bar I have ever been to (just the name alone is wonderful). Â It's dark, smoky, the bathroom is filthy, the floors are disgusting and its full of such an interesting mixture of people. Â Drinks are cheap (don't try to order a fancy cocktail or anything). Â The store connected sells drinks, snacks, and a wide variety of adult entertainment (not that I would know), which just adds a whole 'nother level to the diveyness!
Review Source:So, if this is where my next century of reviews starts, then I can only predict another 99 great places to visit.
Em & I were celebrating him finishing a huge school paper, and he being the bar & beer lover that he is wanted to celebrate somewhere low key where we wouldn't be charged to enter, and where we wouldn't leave our savings at the bar... enter Jose Luis and his thorough knowledge of every single place in the city.
Wanting to go somewhere we hadn't been to before JL was right on point with this one. Never would we have pulled into this little 4-5 storefront strip mall, especially not at midnight.
You walk in and are greeted by a huge cloud of smoke, a lady with disheveled hair wearing a baby-doll dress from 1992, a man passed out on the bar counter, and a jukebox playing every sorta song you can imagine. This was just the place we were looking for!!!!
We grouped a couple of stools by the front door (which was eventually opened for a little while to let our lungs rest a bit). JL and Em went to get our drinks, and got to experience one of the benefits of this bar - it is adjacent to a liquor store (entrance to the store is actually through the bar). Em ordered a beer they didn't have behind the bar, so the bartender took ten steps into the liquor store got the beer and Emilio was happy :-) Nothing worst than craving a beer and having the bar tender tell you they don't have it - not a problem at this place.
As the night (or should I say morning) progressed more people came in, but the place never got super packed. Total strangers started making out with each other, a super duper drunk guy danced by himself, then behind some girls, then came to ask me, and unfazed with rejection kept dancing happily - love it!!! Love drunk people who dance - they're the best!!!
In all, we had a very good conversation, spent time with a great friend, and discovered a new little place in this crazy city of glitz. Not sure we'll make it back often, but we know it's there when we need it.
Just a note - I'm not a fan of bars and I don't smoke - if I was/did either or both, I'd definitely have given this place 5 stars (which I'm sure is what Em would have given it).
This place is awesome! Â It's a liquor store with a bar, or a bar with a liquor store. Â Either way, it's totally amusing with the characters that are in there and the employees that work there! Â
They're small on either side (liquor store and lounge), but it gets the job done. Â They have most beers that people drink and all the spirits you can think of. Â They do have wine, although not the largest selection. Â They even sell my favorite potato chips, "Dirty" Potato Chips. Â :) Â
Happy Stork's Lounge was even voted the Best Dive Bar of 2008 by the Miami New Times! Â And its DEFINITELY a Dive Bar. Â I mean, it defines the term. Â Grungy, dingy, dark, smelly... Â Strange characters... Â It has all the important ingredients of a Dive Bar! Â And with a built-in store, it's a very convenient place indeed!
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