Smashburger

Smash Burger is definitely the supreme burger.
While expensive, this restaurant takes the burger to the next level!
The burgers themselves are SMASHING, along with the fries, and milkshake.
Smash Burger definitely has a fan, but can use a little less salt... but other times, that wasn't a problem.

Smashburger looks like a better-appointed Chipotle. Melamine, cool colors and shiny surfaces in abundance. The order takers were very helpful, spotting our BOGO coupon and asking us if it was our first time and suggesting all kinds of add-ons we could
try to make our experience a special one. No criticism there whatsoever - hey, we even threw them a couple of bucks as a thank you, even though I generally frown on places which expect a tip that don't offer full table-side service.

Our experience was a special one, but sadly for the wrong reasons.

First, let me tell you what we ordered: My vegetarian wife opted for the Spicy Baja Black Bean Burger, accompanied by Smashfries (fries tossed with rosemary, olive oil and garlic) and a side of fried pickles. I went for the Mushroom Swiss Grilled Chicken which comes loaded with garlic sautéed mushrooms, aged Swiss cheese and mayo all sitting atop an egg bun. For my side I decided upon the Chili Cheese Fries, a buck more than my wife's choice.

When the food was delivered I was disappointed to see it all came out in hideous stainless steel wire baskets, each item separated from the table by little more than a thin layer of wax paper. Now, I HATE wire food baskets at the best of times (it is the ONLY thing I despise about Red Robin's otherwise top notch modus operandi) but these were a complete joke. Except neither of us laughed. The sides of the basket - also wire-framed - were half-an-inch tall meaning that when the food was served it was already dripping grease out onto our table.

Things didn't get any better when trying to slice our food up, the wire-bottomed trays making the buns more difficult to cut than anyone sane person should have to bother with. The upshot was that the table ended up wearing much of our food. Worse than that was that grease oozed out of the side of my wife's burger, slithered across the table and onto a new pair of pants she had bought just the day before. Dear restaurateurs.... just what the hell is wrong with proper plates?

My wife said that what she could actually eat of her burger - it was very VERY messy and falling apart  - was the considerable palate pleaser, the right mix of both spice and texture. However, for all its culinary plusses she did leave almost half of it behind, her attempts to eat curtailed by an inability to be able to cut the bun properly. Her Smashfries were viewed suspiciously and considered merely OK - I think both of us were expecting something a little more than oil-drenched McD-esque frozen fries, possibly something hand-cut with a real, y'know, potato flavor to them?!

My chicken burger was a disgrace. Nothing short of. The grilled chicken patty in my bun was a floppy mess and tasted of absolutely nothing. The egg bun overpowered everything else, the cheese flavor unrecognizable and the mushrooms appearing neither fresh nor appealing. My chili cheese fries were also a disappointment, the chili failing to fire up the fries in any way whatsoever. Was it from a can?

So, in terms of food, they earn a mere 2 points. I can't imagine we'll ever be back. It was just too messy and too 'meh' to make the effort.

However, I have awarded them 3 stars instead of just 2 for one simple - and some may say ludicrous - reason. Their bathrooms.

OK, so you expect the bathrooms in a new establishments to be bright, clean and sparkly and Smashburger's certainly fulfilled that ideal. However, where they get the extra star from is the locks they put on the doors. No, I am not making that up.

14 years I have been in America and for all of those fourteen years I have spent time waiting outside a bathroom wondering if it _is_ actually engaged or have been inside the bathroom cowering with anxiety as person after person tries the door whilst I am.... well, erm.... whilst why I am 'pushing to make room', if you get my drift. In all those 14 years I have never.... NEVER .... seen a loo door with a lock which on the outside shows an "in use/vacant" slider to immediately inform other customers of the actual status of that bathroom. Such locks are prevalent (possibly even 'the law'?) in Europe and it's never failed to consternate me whilst I have been living this side of the pond that American builders, plumbing contractors and businesses can't adopt something similar to make everybody's life just that little bit easier and less stressful.

So, 2 stars for the less than average food & presentation plus 1 bonus star for the toilet door!

The burgers are big enough to fill you up and with the "create your own" option I can get everything I want. (Although, let's be honest... aren't most burgers "create your own"?)

I suggest adding guacamole and buffalo sauce to your burger. Yummm.