I love coming here on a Friday or Saturday evening to have a few cocktails and watch the drag shows.
Friday nights there isn't a cover, but there is on Saturday evenings. The show starts at 10:30, and there are usually 4-5 performers who do a number of outfit changes and a variety of songs, ranging from beginners to professionals. Bring cash to tip with!
My second entrance into the bar, formerly known as Illusions VII, and now named "Zonie's Closet.  This review will b e as jarbled as  fits the locale.
Zonie's Closet is a dynasty within Indianapolis, surviving the previous interpretations and pushing forward whole  heartedly into the next big thing.  In a  sum of words, Zonie's Closet is a gay bar that has drag shows.  The performances are typically good and not productions, but performances - focusing on the Queen's skills, instead of over the top costumes, lavish dancers or extreme mixes for  all involved to perform to.
Zonie's is more a laid back, neighborhood bar with a cast of gals that are not only down to Earth, but also ones that will integrate into the crowd, instead of doing an obvious path within the crowd (Hi2uTalbotStreet), which only allows a cock in a frock with make-up on to pretty much mouth "Watermelon, watermelon" over and over and get tips.
I'm not saying that is Talbot Street, I'm simply saying that is NOT Zonies. Â The performers there are caring, kind, funny, interested, and involved with their clients. Â
Personally, I haven't seen THE Alana Steele perform in maybe four to five years, yet while "boy" I received a hug with the comment, "Hey Stranger! It's great seeing you Jake!" Then during her songs, giving me nudges and nods.
My only complaint about Zonies is it's 1) $3 COVER CHARGE Â on Saturday evenings (not sure about the rest of the week). Â It's just ridiculous for Illusions to charge a cover...
and 2) the price of beverages. Â if Zonies wanted to become a staple/standard in the LGBT community of Indy, then they'd lower their prices of booze to Olley's, and raise it by a quarter. Â Drop the Chip rack, and get a vending machine, and LOSE the cover charge. Â 3) Finally, the price of drinks were atrocious! for a dive bar, a Miller LIght shouldn't be more than $2.50. ZONIES, YOU'RE LOSING YOUR BUSINESS CUZ OF YOUR DRINK PRICES and DRINK POURS~! If i wanted nearly non-alcoholic drinks, I'd go to Metro or Talbott. Â And I use to work at Metro and get more booze/better a beverage from a MIller LIght bottle. NEVER DO TAP IN A GAY BAR UNLESS IT'S A CRAFTED BEER!
The bar is WELL loved, much more so than Illusions use to be, as well as it's patrons are a smidge diff than the typical gay bar. Â
But if Alana FUCKING Steele is performing/EmCee'ing, is a good sign - it's only up to the owners/managers to understand ZONIE'S COULD BE DOING BETTER!
Total time spent in bar: 4 hours
Drinks ordered: FOR 2 PEOPLE - 9 beers (miller lights, which might as well been O'Douhls), 1 vodka soda ( Collins).
Total amount spent for drinks: $53 on bad beer and a shallow Vodka/Soda.
Zonie's nees to ship-up in drink special prices and make it more attractive to come to Zonies instead of OP's on a saturday night. I give my love and support!
Wednesday nights Drink and Sync here is the absolute truth if I have ever heard it before. Â I love this place so much. It's a great neighborhood bar in the worst possible neighborhood. Â I spent almost a year driving by it lustfully before I could finally rustle up a crowd of my nearest and queerest to take it by storm.
$3 cover, $1 wells on Wednesdays. Â Plus a show if you have ever seen one. Â Cannot be beat.
And they have drag shows weekly I think on Mondays, Fridays, and Saturdays as well.
Came for the Drag Show on Drink & Sync Wed. It was a $3 cover and there were $1 wells on special. $10 covered $3 cover, 3 drinks (cranberry/vodka, amaretto sour, whiskey/coke), and tips for bartender and a drag queen, so not a bad way to spend an evening. Cheap drinks and fun entertainment.
The drag show featured Alana Steele (who is always abfab), Regina Bitch (who was kitschy fun), Anastasia (you just gotta see it to believe it), Scotty (the boy wonder), and Angela Stone (who impressed the hell outta me by making her tatas dance on their own and can point them in different directions!).
So some cautionary tales (and just to clarify, these shouldn't be deterrents, just a heads up!):
-the locale is a bit on the sketchy side of East Washington w/street parking, so go with a group and park under a light
-BRING CA$H! They do NOT do credit cards or tabs (the bartender was king of crabby on this point, and they might want to put a sign up OUTSIDE or make it a little more prominent). They have an "ATM", which you put your card in and enter your PIN (and it's a $2.50 surcharge to do so) and it prints out a receipt which you take to said bartender who "cashes you out". So a definite "use at your own risk" sitch on that one.
I don't know what kind of crowd this place usually attracts but I can say that I will never come back here. I was checking out the bars on a Sunday before flying home. When I walked in, the bartender demanded my ID - which was fine, but I didn't like his tone. After verifying my age, he returned my ID to me and asked me what I would be having. I politely said "Nothing, thanks." I then attempted to go back to view the patio - just wanted to see what the place was like. The bartender stopped me and said that if I wasn't going to buy something I would have to leave. I certainly will never come here again, and I recommend others to avoid it as well unless they don't mind being treated rudely.
Review Source:This is a fun little dive-y bar that is totally dependent upon the people who happen to be there at the time. Â As the earlier poster said, this place is extremely popular with bachelorette parties. Â Use that information as you will. Â The last time we were there, the bar was overtaken by a lesbian birthday party. Â The bartenders tend to be very friendly.
Review Source:There aren't enough good things I can say about this fabulous little dive on the east side of downtown Indy. Although Talbott Street is more well-known, Zonie's has somehow flawlessly combined the glitziness of drag shows with the coziness of a neighborhood hole-in-the-wall. I guess I better start at the beginning.
I called there a couple weeks ago to make reservations for a rather large bachelorette party (20 people). Zonie herself answered the phone and was extremely helpful and friendly and promised a table right up front.
Everything was in order for us when we walked in around 10:00 (shows start at 10:30 on Saturdays). The friendly lady with the Elvis hair and tie-dyed blazer greeted us at the door to check IDs and get the $3 cover charge. Miss Britney Taylor, one of the performers, was sitting at the bar and asked if I was the bride. I pointed her out to both Britney and Kristi (the DJ), who also asked about her. I figured they had a little something planned for her since it was her party and all.
A little something doesn't even cover it! Britney came out in a bridal getup and performed a couple wedding-related numbers, Kristi interacted with our group all night from her place in the DJ booth, and Scotty Too Hottie came out and gave our friend a fun little personal dance. All of us, especially the bride, felt like royalty by the end of the night.
And wow, did these girls and guys give it all they had. Each of them performed four or five sets (I lost track), all different and all entertaining. There was were two drag queens (the afore-mentioned Britney and also Ginger Ale), a drag king (Mr. Colton Parker), a male dancer (Scotty) and the outrageously androgynous Khaos van Ryan. A couple of personal favorites included Britney doing Pink's "Dirty Little Freaks," Ginger's rendition of "His Eye is on the Sparrow" (yes, really) and Khaos' punk and Silly String interpretation of Kesha's "Blow." We hung around afterwards, taking pictures and talking with the performers, who were all so nice.
Oh, and mad props go to the bartenders too, who got drinks out fast, strong and cheaply. They were workin' it just as much as the ladies on stage.
Yeah, this is pretty much the longest review ever, but we all had such a blast and felt so welcomed at Zonie's Closet.
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