Dick's Last Resort

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• 0

  Hey dicks, I'm giving you one lonely star. And you know what? That's one more star than you deserve.
  
  I get it, I get it. You're one of those places where people go to get treated poorly by sarcastic servers. When it's well done, it can be fun. (See Ed Debevic's in Chicago for a well-executed demonstration of this concept.)
  
  But you Dick's just don't get it.
  
  See, both times I've been in your restaurant, I've seen something that's egregiously offensive, and highly distasteful. Yeah yeah yeah, that's the whole point of this place, to be offensive.
  
  You're probably thinking, "This guy doesn't get the joke. What a loser."
  
  Not so much.
  
  See, what it boils down to is your stupid paper hats. You put them on customers, write something offensive on them that the customer can't see (unless they take off the hat) then shame them based on what you write for the rest of their meal.
  
  Here's the problem - both times I've been at your restaurant (and frankly, the word "restaurant"  is a stretch because the food is just terrible) I've seen servers try to be funny by insinuating that a customer is gay. And you know what? That's wrong.
  
  Using sexuality to shame or embarrass someone is just as offensive as making a joke about someone's race or religion. There were no comments on ANY hats about either of those subjects, so what makes you think making fun of a teenage boy by using a gay joke is okay? It's not. Period.
  
  Let me tell you a little more, because I know you're somewhat new to Minnesota. We're liberal. We like people of all kinds. We're not a discriminatory culture.
  
  In November 2012, a marriage amendment banning gay marriage came up on the ballot here, and you know what? The entire state of Minnesota shot that amendment down.
  
  We're intelligent people. We're compassionate. We care about our neighbors.
  
  We're not turning our noses up at you because we don't get the joke - we turn our noses up at you because the joke isn't funny.
  
  Avoid this place. There are better venues in the Mall of America, I promise. And if you're looking for someone to be playfully rude to you, find a store in the mall that caters exclusively to teenagers. You'll find your fill there.

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  Posted on 01.29.13 Kit B.

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  I understand the shtick and attraction but the food was only mediocre.
  
  This is not palace you want to bring the kids and the comedy routine is worth a one time experience but not worth the return visit.

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  Posted on 01.05.13 Nate J.

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  I ate at the original Dick's in San Antonio several years ago.  It was St. Patrick's day - the river was green in honor of St. Patrick's Day and our waiter Peter (his friends called him Long Peter and to be truthful he was very tall) was very rude and sarcastic, but with a sweet side.  The place was packed with green attired revelers, all in high spirits.  
  
  Flash forward to last night at Dick's in the Mall of America.  Granted we were there pretty early for the dinner crowd, but there was hardly anyone there.  After being seated we got the mandatory Dick's Last Resort bibs and our waitress came over to our table.  We were waiting for rude - for sarcastic - in the mood for some put downs.  Pretty much nothin though.  Our waitress tried to be surly but it wasn't in her.  I ordered a chardonnay which was OK and the boys had beers.  Probably the best of our food was the BBQ half chicken with fries.  The other food items were just not great.  We did eventually get our paper hats with some pretty good verbage.  We also got a bill of over $100 which seemed excessive based on what we had ordered and the quality of the food and lack of quality of the sarcasm.

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  Posted on 12.03.12 Carol O.

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  Little bit spendy
  Make me feel more worthless, please
  Maybe I'll be back
  
  This is a place to go for the experience and not the food.  For those who don't know, Dick's shtick is having insult comics be your servers.  Apparently, one group was not in on the joke as they left within about 5 minutes of being seated.  They must have gotten harsher than I got because I wanted more abuse.
  
  I have been to the original in San Antonio on the Riverwalk circa March 2002 (way pre-Yelp).  I remember leaving questioning my dignity as a human being and having to pick up the pieces of my shattered life.  Sadly, I did not feel as demoralized after my visit at MOA today.  Worst I got called was "fufu" for having a Victoria's Secret bag sitting next to me.  Unfortunately, not my purchase as I would rock that shit out.
  
  Only other insult thrown my way was the party hat (see my picture, and yes, she does).  There were some other good hats that I saw.  One said "even my hand rejects me" with an outline of a hand screaming "NOOOO!"  Couple next to us got some good ones: female's said "I blow bubbles" and the guy's said " Hi, my name is Bubbles."
  
  On to the food though, nothing special and pricey for nothing special.  Total for three entrees, four bottles of beer and one glass of wine was one hondo.  The menu is up on the wall.  Prepare to be insulted if you have any questions about it.  Went with the Crab Cake Dinna'.  Just alright.  Dining companion got a bucket of the boiled shrimp.  This is what I would go with if I go back again.
  
  Seemed like they did a pretty good job of segregating the kids from the grown-ups.  Kids up front and big kids in back.  On my way out noticed a kid with a hat that said "Dad's favorite mistake". Priceless.

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  Posted on 12.02.12 John O.

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  I decided to go here for my birthday party with 4 other couples on a Friday night.  I have been the Las Vegas location twice and loved the entire experience.  I wasn't sure what to expect since I was unsure how Dick's Vegas style was really going to compare to MN nice!
  
  First off, they wouldn't even seat the party until all the guests had arrived.  With a party of 10, that seemed slightly lame since we all could have ordered drinks while waiting.  
  
  Secondly, we were taken upstairs.  I was initially happy about this since an extremely loud country/rock band was playing downstairs and no one could hear each other.  When we got up there, it seemed to be where the kids were seated.  I thought, great we are going to get the G rated version of this show.  
  
  The server was funny and did a great job with the offensive comments and insulting hats!  This was the only plus about this experience.  She told us a story of when a lady slapped her once for one of her comments!  
  The worst part of this whole experience was the food.  Super expensive for little choice from an American style meal.  It reminded me of elementary cafeteria food.  I had a salad, which felt easy, but it was wilted, warm and the excessive amount of dressing was disgusting!
  
  I really wanted to love it here!

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  Posted on 11.27.12 Angie S.

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  This is really one of those places that you go to once for the experience, and then you never go back. The burger I had was not good. Of course the waitstaff was fun.

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  Posted on 11.09.12 Beth P.

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  This is always a fun place to visit, no matter what town you are in.  Clearly not gourmet food, so if you are expecting such, you are in the wrong place.  Rude servers are part of the "act."  Our sandwiches were great.   Loved the buffalo chicken.  Not worth upgrading to chili cheese fries, as they were not impressive.  The alligator bite appetizer was not worth ordering, as the pieces were very small and hard to dip.

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  Posted on 10.07.12 Mary Ann C.

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  My son and I were meeting some girlfriends there while in The Cities, I was anxious taking a 4 year old to Dick's but had been assured that this was NOT like the others. They were right! Our waitress was awesome - she and my son had SO much fun teasing each other. We all got hats made (of course.)
  The wait was a little longer than I had hoped but hey it's Dick's! Food was great, drinks had little to what seemed like no alcohol - bummer!
  Overall this Dick's was a more family friendly rather than the one in Chicago/Vegas.. but you still got the experience.

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  Posted on 08.21.12 Katie M.

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  Famously surly service! Unfortunately, infamously crappy food.

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  Posted on 08.19.12 Anthony G.

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  Last. Resort.
  
  My sorority sisters and I came here to end our retreat on a fun note. We had obviously heard of Dicks and thought it sounded like a fun idea... But it wasn't in the end. The staff were jerks to the point where it sacrificed good service. All of our individual meals were $20-30 even though most of us got chicken fingers and fries and a drink. Our waiter said at the beginning of the visit that he wouldn't bring us water unless we ordered a real drink, so a lot of girls ended up ordering things they didn't want.
  
  I had the fresh squeezed lemonade to start, which I'm pretty sure is just Sprite, a half shot of vodka, and lemon and lime juice. The menu said it was supposed to come with 3 olives and didn't mention anything about the Sprite. Didn't want that much sugar in my drink, so I was disappointed when it came out. For my meal I had the half baked chicken. It was cooked super well and tasted delicious, but wasn't a rounded dish in itself. It was literally just a half chicken and some fries. Not worth $15.
  
  Then our waiter hassled us in a line to the cash wrap so he could get us out of there as quick as possible. He made it clear that he just wanted us out of there as quick as possible... Plus, there was a live band playing and we couldn't hear ourselves think! So we kind of wanted to get out of there anyway.
  
  Other girls in my group had issues with their meals as well. A girl who ordered iced tea only got half a glass, and they never refilled her. All the girls who got kiddy cocktails thought they tasted weird. And a few of our girls didn't get all their change because the waiter couldn't get the register open, so "Their loss."
  
  Also, the location, if I may say so, is not good for a restaurant.
  
  I'm tired of talking about this place. Just don't go here.

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  Posted on 08.19.12 Sarah Z.

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  Met a friend and his girlfriend here for drinks. They had dinner, I just joined them later on. The waitress was the expected rudeness level, and had some funny sayings on our hats.
  After a bit it was much slower and our waitress came over, old us the story of the 1st Dick's and we chit chatted awhile (no insults :))
  
  Got our tabs and needed to get out the vasoline.
  
  This place is spendy. My friend and his girlfriend had a $110 tab on 2 entrees, and app and a couple light beers.
  
  I had 2 craft brews (one being the 22oz Fat Tire however) and my tab was over $20 by myself.
  
  I liked the place but it would have to take a special occasion or birthday or something for me to come back. Maybe just to try the food...
  
  It seems to get either really good or really bad reviews. My friends thought it was better than fair, but what do they know, they are South Dakotans....

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  Posted on 08.09.12 Joshua W.

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  Ahhh... Dick's last resort.  
  
  I stopped by for a bite last Friday night after remembering the fun and the banter I had at the Dick's Last Resort on the Riverwalk in San Antonio TX back in 1998.  Unfortunately, this was nothing like my experience there.
  
  The snarky rude service can be a fun novelty - when done well.  Again, unfortunately my waiter was either an amateur or an idiot (or possibly an amateur idiot).  When I asked about something on the menu, he did the unbuttoning his pants thing - to which I quickly did mine and told him if we were having a contest, I was only pulling out enough to win.  He couldn't really come back from that.
  
  I had the same experience with my meal that another reviewer had... after the waiter ate one of my 6 shrimp and then tried to throw one in my drink (missing and throwing it on the floor) I chuckled like I was supposed to and then kindly asked him to replace them (I am kind of a big guy with a big guy appetite - if I pay for food I get my food).  He told me it would cost extra.  I told him that it would cost FAR less for 2 shrimp than it would to fix his broken legs.  He said "is that a threat?" and I said "yes" - so he said he would see what he could do and came back with 6 fresh shrimp for me.
  
  I don't blame the kid - it is obvious he is trying... but you really have to learn to play to your audience, be dynamic and not stick to something of a script.  Towards the end he said to me "you probably don't really want a paper hat, do you?"  And I told him "good call".  I tipped well, he WAS trying afterall... and this is why I gave stars at all...
  
  The food was poor bar food.  My steak overdone and the first batch of shrimp were obviously done WAY before the steak and thus had sat under a warmer and become dry.  My beer was fine as a bottled domestic beer should be.
  
  With all of the fun places to eat in the Twin Cities - foodwise, you can do a lot better than Dick's.  
  
  With the whole Dick's Last Resort reputation, these guys and gals have a lot to live up to - unless they step up their game, they won't be doing Dick proud.

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  Posted on 08.09.12 Jeremy D.

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  First time at the MOA and at Dick's. The ambiance was interesting. My group enjoyed the live band and our waitress was not that rude! Luckily, I didn't have anything embarrassing written on my hat, like everyone else! The drinks were good, but my food was way too salty. Other than that, I had a cool time!

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  Posted on 06.30.12 Ms.Liz F.

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  Our group was looking forward to coming here, but ended up VERY disappointed. The service was awful (and not because of the sarcasm-I THRIVE on sarcasm!) We went on a Tuesday afternoon, and the service was slower than slow, and should not have been considering it was empty in there.
  
  We ordered the cheese fries w/ bacon as an appetizer and received chili cheese fries. The chili tasted burnt-I thought it was gross. Overall, the food was mediocre. Between our group we ordered two orders of chicken fingers, the pulled pork and a bacon cheeseburger. The chicken had a lot of gristle(sp?), the burger was burnt, but no complaints about the pulled pork.
  
  In terms of drinks, it took forever to get them, which was very frustrating, especially since (as I mentioned it wasn't busy). If I lived in the area, I would give this place another chance.

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  Posted on 06.27.12 Kelly H.

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  Im going to tell you a little story...
  
  Im on a business trip with the president of my company and my direct supervisor. We take a stroll around Mall of America one boring night. We're hungry and look at the restaurant list.
  
  I see Dick's Last Resort... I say, "Oh I heard this place is so funny, let's go". (mind you I am a solid 20 years younger than my bosses).
  
  So we go...
  
  Well, we sit down and it wasn't very funny. Its almost annoying the rudeness. ( I get the gimmick, but they should hire comedians or something)
  
  We eat, its gross, engage in awkward conversation.. yahtaaa yahtaa yahtaa. Then the waitress makes me a hat and puts it on my head. I see a look of horror on my bosses faces....
  
  So, I take the hat off ... In big, black Sharpie letters it reads " I LOVE MUSTACHE RIDES"
  
  she proceeds to make my supervisor one that said "NO, I AM NOT CONSTIPATED, I JUST LOOK LIKE THIS"
  
  ....and the president of the company gets "VIVA VIAGRA"
  
  That sums up my experience here.

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  Posted on 06.25.12 Lizz W.

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  This is a great place to bring kids.  The theater that the staff puts on is terrific and entertaining.  The food itself is three stars but outweighed by the total experience.  Every time we are back in the cities we will come here!

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  Posted on 06.10.12 Dave J.

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  The food here is lackluster, even for the type of place this is supposed to be.  The atmosphere, though briefly amusing, quickly wears thin.
  
  Check your straws when you get them.  I saw servers tossing handfuls of them at tables, and quite a few wound up on the floor, only to be gathered up later.  Makes me wonder if they're getting recycled.

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  Posted on 03.28.12 Amber E.

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  I really enjoyed the atmosphere! My food was not so great- came out only lukewarm. I am interested in checking this place out again!

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  Posted on 03.22.12 Tabi S.

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  Very funny!

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  Posted on 01.24.12 Kinya G.

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  We went here because there was no line to get in, and boy did we find out why.  The food was so sub par I would never go back.  The fried pickles were covered in this awful cornmeal like coating.  It was grainy and flat.  My husband ordered the catfish which was battered in the same awful stuff. He was only able to choke down one of the three.  I ordered the southwest chicken salad.  It came with a blacked chicken breast on top of romaine lettuce tossed in ranch dressing.  There were a few pieces of corn tossed in there too.  It was tolerable but very unimaginative.   I ordered a Margarita and all you could taste was the sweet and sour.  I sent it back and the second mixed drink was worse.  The service was rude and funny and the only complaint there was I wish the waiter would have gone even farther with the rudeness.

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  Posted on 12.18.11 Beth M.

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  Atmosphere here is awesome. The waiting staff is a bunch of real assholes. They'll make fun of u for sure. Guess they have acoustic music on the weekends. Pretty cool bar. Have some alligator

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  Posted on 12.08.11 Eric Thomas L.

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