Can't speak for the food but this seems like a great place for drinks. I can always appreciate a uniquely decorated place and this is certainly one of them. Plus, they have a great outdoor patio with running water of some sort to give that soothing feeling despite being in the city.
Esme Patterson is playing here on Aug 18 and I will definitely be returning to see her play at this special spot!
This is a great place. It seems small from the outside, but there is a lot of room to explore. The outside area is what won me over. The forest theme is phenomenal! The fire pits, rolling stream, Aspen trees...it's so cool! When you really look around you will find the smallest details that enhance the forest feel, big screens playing clips of wildlife, carvings of bears, signs from state parks. It's so well put together. Upstairs you will find a big fire and a swing! Yes, a swing, and you better believe I rocked that!
The communal table downstairs also goes along with the theme, as if you were at a camp hall. It creates conversation among people you have never met. The drinks are well made. The service however is not so great. We waited a very long time for a drink, finally I just grabbed someone and was like, yo, please, we need a drink! He helped us out, even though he turned out to be a bus boy. Â We still had to wait a long time after ordering too. We did finally meet our cocktail waitress and I asked her to make sure he got the tip! Â But it is the ambiance you go here for, or at least I do!
This place is like urban outfitters, the show portlandia, and one hot summer the movie decided to have a three way and made a baby that served alcohol. Â This place gives somewhat of a "too cool for school" vibe... but in a totally fun way. Â Firepit, check, stump barstools, check, dudes with mullets, check, pbr, check, weird movies playing, check, cool art hanging, check. I can honestly say those things sum this place up... and I liked it.
Review Source:This is a bizarro bar. I would say this is the most bizarre bar I've been to, but I've been to Beacher's Madhouse and nothing will ever top that. Buuut, this one comes pretty close.
The decor is crazy. Like trees and swings and bushes and little weirdo dioramas. This is all inside the venue, mind you. When I went there was even an ice luge. There were projectors showing videos of bears sticking their heads in geysers. So strange. Yet so awesome.
The outside is awesome too. There's trees and firepits and stuff and you literally feel like you're in a forest.
I was totally pumped. I'll definitely be back.
Like this quirky little place, the staff is good, some of the bartenders are really good and actually work (make eye contact, good service and a good cocktails) the others are oblivious and pay no attention. Its been like that since it opened. Nonetheless the place has a nice vibe and who doesn't like sitting in a Forrest watching a movie outside.
Review Source:It is definitely a different type of place as far as interior/environment is concerned. I went for happy hour and stayed for dinner. The truffle fries are amazing. I love it when shaved Parmesan is on them. Grab them at hh for a price cut. I also had a peach/lavender vodka cocktail that was pretty tasty. For dinner I had the scallops (there were three decent-sized scallops on top of a nice helping of risotto) and it actually filled me up. There was only one waitress that seemed to be working all the tables, but I never felt as though I was waiting too long for things.
Review Source:This place is fine, just fine, but if the service were decent it'd be getting a lot more credit. Â The food is good, drinks good, but the service is lacking. Â And when you have a significant issue with your reservation, try finding a manager, I dare ya.
If you want to find a place that feels like the woods in Denver, go to Beatrice & Woodsley instead--now they know how to treat their customers.
I always describe Forest Room 5 as a place that's indistinguishably DENVER. That's saying a lot, but I usually follow up with how terrible the service is despite the kick-ass decor.
The place gets 5-stars for some amazing digs including an outdoor movie projector and firepits, its own personal art gallery, and more wooden trims than the hippest cafes in town.
As for the service (some may even call it non-existent), it is bad. Getting drinks may be nearly impossible even with a half-full bar as waiters tend to get distracted by fireflies and catching up with friends.
While rockin' it out in the decor department will get you on the radar, without a followup of even half decent service will totally kill the vibe no matter what.
Came here on a Saturday night while visiting my best friend in Denver, what a surprise! We walked in and found seats in one of the smaller back rooms. The smaller bar didn't have the full menu but was able to make me the drink I wanted off of the main menu, it was a seasonal huckleberry type Moscow mule drink... Delicious! The music was great and the crowd was very mixed, everyone could find their crowd here! We eventually wandered upstairs to the art gallery which had a great view of their outside area and fire place. There was a really sweet cocktail waitress up there that made it so we didn't have to wait in the bar lines, drinks were really fairly priced as well, 7 bucks a beer I believe! The place is decorate in diarama type things all around and when we eventually went downstairs to the main bar, I got change in two dollar bills which was pretty cool! If I'm back in Denver anytime soon, I'll be sure to stop by again!!
Review Source:I'll be honest, I was a bit scared the first time I walked in here, I was just dropping by for a drink while I waited to get into Williams and Graham. They have a giant projection screen with a movie on where a guy was eating a rotting moose. Yes, Â a rotting moose. With that plus they decor of a secluded mountain cabin, I began to get the feeling I was in a horror film right before it began to get interesting. Turns out the movie was just "into the wild" , and the mountain cabin feel grew on me too eventually.
Some things, like the "meditation room" under the stairs, and the swing in the upstairs part (which I believe they've gotten rid of) still strike me as odd, but that's just the overall feel they are going for I guess. Good drinks, pretty good specials, and the crowd is usually fun.
Despite the odd first encounter, the forest room has grown on me, and its definitely one of my favorite spots in the neighborhood. Also, now I want to watch into the wild and find out why in the world that guy was eating a rotting moose.
Forest Room Five has a cool vibe and a place that I have always liked, however I am not returning due to bad customer service on 3 occasions. Â Here are some things to consider:
- Each time I have (or my beau) has ordered a beer, they return the change in $2 bills or $1 coins. Â Why do you think? Â My thoughts are that people are not likely to get change from the $2 as hard to ask or may feel weird about that so the server gets a larger tip on items. Â And who is going to ask for change for a $1 coin. Â So they are nudged there in a indirect way. Â And for those moving quickly they may think it is a quarter vs. a $1. Â Why?
- they served beers in 2 rooms at 2 different prices. Â Coors Light was $3 in the bar and then $4 in the back room. Â Why? Â
- the bartender had 4 people waiting for drinks and he was spending a lot of time on his phone reading texts. Â Why?
- so so overall customer service otherwise.
- back room can be very hot. Â Uncomfortably so.
There are so many great places around this area that we will skip Forest Room Five. Â I think it is important to tip appropriately but something about this seems sneaky to me. Â This could be the management pushing vs. the staff but just not cool.
Cool bar - great crowd, upper twenties and thirties mostly. I like the friendly and laid back vibe.
Not surprisingly given the name, you feel like you are in a forest when you are inside. Decor is all wooden with several fireplaces onside and a bunch of fire pita outside. Good thing too because I was freezing in the bar the whole time and spent most of my time at FR5 literally inches away from flames, next to one of the four inside fireplaces or one of the fire pits outside.
I would give a lower star rating based on the temperature but realize that it was the middle of winter from Colorado and my think SoCal skin isn't exactly used to these bitter temperatures.
In sum - I like the ambiance, the crowd, and the drinks were reasonably priced.
I've been to Forest Room 5 a handful of times now and each time have had a good experience. Â For the environment alone, I would recommend this place. Â Depicting a forest setting with tree stumps, an outside campfire, a giant screen often times displaying wildlife and nature videos, the vibe given off makes you feel just as if you are capping off a camping excursion in the forest. Â The ambience and originality alone should entice you for a visit.
Beyond the forest like nature of the establishment (pun intended), the food and drinks are desirable as well.  Primarily small plates, their happy hour is affordable and delicious.  Although their happy hour drink specials, being a bit too fancified for my taste, did not detract from the food  which included a substantial beet salad, some delicious hummus, and an awesome scallop plate that consisted of 3 expertly cooked scallops with poached pear for just $5.  On that happy hour dish alone, I was sold.  Although I can't attest to a complete meal here, I would highly recommend checking this place out on a date or for just a drink with friends.
This was the second time I've been I forest room five and I can safely say that the only thing preventing me from giving this place 5/5 is the terribly slow staff! This is a great place to go for drinks or dinner the drinks and food are delicious (get the polenta!) and the restaurant  is really unique, both inside and out. However, ordering a drink at the crowded bar can be nearly impossible and if you go with a party you can expect to wait over an hour for your meal (the two sides of the table were served their meals at least 30 minutes apart). I would say check this place out but try to avoid going during their peak hours.
Review Source:Came to Forest Room 5 for happy hour. Â The atmosphere is very charming, and the water is served with basil and grapes (yum!). Â I would have enjoyed the water more had our water pitcher been refilled even once during our visit! Â We ordered scallops, beef tacos, and calamari. Â The flavors were great, but the food was served COLD! Â The place wasn't even busy, so we were surprised that they couldn't manage to serve our food hot. Â Service was very slow, and happy hour turned into about an hour and a half experience. Â
They did have some good cocktails, and according to their website, their private rooms are available for use free of charge, so I will keep the place in mind if I ever need a place for a party. Â Other than that, I'll skip it for happy hour or dinner. =(
Forest Room 5 is a place in Denver that will always have a place in my heart. Â It's a unique space that really provides a different atmosphere from the typical bars you find in the downtown/Lodo/LoHi area. Â A little more artsy, a little more emo, and very hipster with surprisingly decent food and a very chill vibe.
Forest Room was always my first pick for an easy place to meet up for happy hour and grab a bite to eat. Â Rather than a typical bar menu, they have some original creations and offer a variety of cuisines. Â FR5 does a great happy hour menu with both drinks and food. Â A great selection for vegetarians and meat eaters alike. Â The veggie sliders are fantastic as is the butternut squash ravioli. Â You can't eat at FR5 without getting an order of the truffle fries. Â Seriously, don't leave without ordering them.
The drink menu is different - this is not a place you go for beer. Â If that's the case, just walk a block down the street and go to Ale House. Â But they have a fun cocktail menu and great mixologists at the bar.
FR5 is a great place for a first date, a happy hour drink with co-workers, or a meet-up for a group of friends. Â They've got a woodsy patio and fire pits in the back so it's always a fun spot in the summer and fall.
Weekends get pretty crowded and it's a nice place to go to find a different kind of crowd from the usual Denver LoDo/Tavern/Swankys goers.
When I think back on my years in Denver, FR5 is always one of the places I look back on fondly and is always the first place I pick as a meet-up when I'm back in town.
Been here a few times, but not an addict or anything. However, I figured it would have been a great place for a private company party. I've seen the party rooms and rather enjoy them.
So, I got to check out their website, my first source of information. See what they have listed, etc. Well, their website is busted. Kinda looks pretty, but more so a project a kid going to school for motion graphics tried out. Besides that, nothing on there works.
I figured, not the end of the world, at least I can e-mail (as I like to have company specific things on paper), well..it bounced back.
Sorry guys, but if it's that ill managed, I'll go somewhere else.
are you a fashion-forward emo-hipster type that has no service industry experience or customer service skills? go apply at 'forest room 5'.. chances are, you'll get the job.
seriously, the service is bad. read the reviews. bad bad bad. slow and bad. the servers are more/less neglectful, forgetful, overwhelmed, i don't quite know what the issue is. Â i concluded that our last server was stuck in a k-hole after the third time he came around introducing himself and asking if we've been helped yet. .. (at least he was friendly each time.. i guess?! .. but makes me wonder how he's going to afford his next hot pair of skinny jeans on low tips?)
and yet.. despite the bad service, we keep going back. i've been there dozens of times over the years. never really enjoying the drinks, and pretty much always frustrated with the service.. but..
the atmosphere is just intriguing enough.. the people-watching is just good enough.. the vibe is just hip enough.. the decor is just avant-garde enough.. the fire-pits are just alluring enough..
you get sucked back in.
so, helpful hints when visiting this necessary evil called 'forest room 5': Â arrive after having 2-3 drinks elsewhere, don't be pressed for time, bring cash, bring your own toilet paper.
The atmosphere is great and the food is definitely above average (the risotto is gooooood), but the happy hour offering is weak....really weak.
Add to that a bad attitude on the slow server that we always seem to get, and I'm not travelling out of my neighborhood just meet friends there again after work.
At the risk of sounding like an apathetic hipster: Meh.
I've been here for happy hour a couple times now, and have made the following conclusions:
- The patio looks awesome, but there isn't any good seating there. Only stumps (literally) to sit on, not super comfortable.
- SLLLOOOOWWWWWWWW service. Like sit there for 15 minutes before getting a menu slow. Both times I've been there I was one of the first people in for happy hour, and I had to wait at least 20 minutes before getting a drink my hand.
- The happy hour isn't really a good deal. It's $1 off all drinks, but all the drinks are like $10 so that doesn't mean much. It's also $5 house wines (of which there are 2, white and red), but those are normally $6, so really they should just say "$1 off everything.
- The truffle fries are pretty darn awesome.
- The place LOOKS cool, and the wait staff seems to think they're pretty cool.
Conclusion? Incredibly mediocre. I would go back if someone else invited me there, but I probably wouldn't go if it was my job to pick a spot.
You know how there are those jokey restaurants, like Dick's Last Resort, where the gimmick is that all the servers are incredibly rude? Sometimes I think Forest Room 5 is secretly one of those restaurants. That's the only way I explain the service here in my head.
Let me explain. The first time I went to Forest Room 5, I walked in and was absolutely blown away by the atmosphere. Amazing. It's like an upscale rustic cabin that doesn't cross into ski lodge territory. Very cool space. That's why I gave it 3 stars. I was meeting friends/boyfriend there, and when I arrived they were all sitting at the center table and had drinks in hand. I walked up, and a waitress approached pretty quickly. I was prepared to order when she squished herself between my boyfriend and I, facing him, and asked if he needed another drink. Like I said, he HAD a drink in his hand. A pretty full drink. I cleared my throat and waited for her to turn around so I could order, and she just glances at me and walks off. She didn't come back, so I ended up getting a drink from the bar, which seemed to enrage her because she didn't get the tip.
Every subsequent visit to Forest Room 5, I've had a similar hilariously bad waitress. Rushing us out long before they close because they're not busy and want to close early, being irritated when you ask for recommendations, taking forever with your order...things like that. So that's why I wonder if this kind of behavior is just company policy, and we just aren't in on the joke.
But I doubt it.
Hmm, this place baffles me. Sometimes it's ok, sometimes it makes me want to punch myself in the face. The service is always iffy, I will say that much. Things take a while to arrive, and you get the feeling that the staff couldn't care less about you (for the most part). There is nothing spectacular about the drink menu, but it isn't necessarily lacking.
The reason people come here is for the unique ambiance, I think. Neat forest-wood-log-themed furniture. Moody lighting. Cool outdoor seating area with babbling brook and neat decor.
Overall, it's a fairly small place and feels a bit crowded. It is fair to use the word "pretentious" when describing it. I am not saying this in a disrespectful or judgmental tone- I just want to give you an accurate impression of the place- but you will encounter at least four young white males wearing Buddy Holly glasses and skinny jeans, three young white females with dark lipstick and tattoos and shiny/clinky jewelry and a nose-piercing, three young white males with large amounts of facial hair, and one really skinny, hot lesbian with an awesome manicure sipping on a cocktail that no one has ever heard of.
When a friend says, "Meet me at Forest Room 5!" I roll my eyes and shake my head, then say, "Okay!" To be fair, you might appreciate this place if you are younger and hipper than me.
I've gone here a few times, and have mixed reviews. The drinks are good, the food is good, but the service is mediocre. We had reservations for 15 people for a birthday dinner, and they sat us in the window. This wasn't quite what we expected, as there were 3 different tables to sit at, so not everyone was able to sit together. The service was far and in between. We had to hunt her down many times to ask for whatever we needed at that time. She was, however, Â nice enough to cut the cake for us, after we asked for it to be served.
I think this place is good for a small group and if you are not in a hurry, but if you are expecting a nice dinner with excellent service, I would go else where.
This place has the worst service. The waitress.... wait, do they have a waitress??? The do, but good luck getting her to help you. We have been here repeatedly and always have the same problem, getting someone to wait on us. Once we had someone at our table take our entire food/drink order up to one of the staff who was ringing up someones elses order at a terminal. The last time? Our bartender friend from another bar down the road grabbed our drinks at the bar, again because the absent minded waitress who cannot be bothered with waitressing was too busy doing something else. When we finally were able to flag the waitress down to order food, she told us, oh the kitchen closed a half hour ago, guess I should have checked to see if you wanted anything. Yup, guess you should have. Girl was out at least a $50 dollar tip, but on the upside she never helped us so we didn't have to pay her.
The good things, if you can get a better waitress, the food is great, the atmosphere is pleasant and the bartenders pour a good drink. The service just sucks.
Don't use your credit card! Watch your statement for employees rounding up your charge!
I have gone to Forest Room 5 dozens of times over the years and have hosted personal and work events at the establishment. The service has always been hit and miss but overall it is a good spot.
I went to the bar last week with a friend and paid for drinks with my card and tipped in cash. Â When I looked at my statement, my charge had been rounded up to $40.00. Â I contacted four different staff who all insisted it was an honest mistake. Â They wanted to see my bank statement to prove I had been overcharged; as if they couldn't look at the physical receipt and transaction # to refund the graft.
It was less than six dollars so I stopped trying to resolve it with the staff. Â The last straw was when it was suggested I come in and just have a free drink instead - clearly they don't care that someone is ripping off customers a few bucks at a time. Â I won't be going back and, if you go, I recommend paying with cash.
The food here is FANTASTIC, the service is the WORST I have ever encountered. Â
FIRST- The good. Â Honestly, this place has the best food I have tasted in a long, long time. Â The chef is incredibly talented and everything my friends and I ordered was melt in your mouth good. Â Really, I would have hugged the chef if I saw him/ her.
I won't mince words, the service here was AWFUL. Â The first 20 minutes we were there, there was no one to ask us what we wanted. Â Even when we walked to the bar, they ignored us. Â I finally managed to hunt down a man with a mop (WTF?) and he said he'd help after picking up some mess. Â Sigh. Â Finally my friend managed to place our group's order at the bar. Â Then another 10 minutes a sleepy woman arrived to take our order. Â Um... except we had placed it ourselves. Â Another 20 mins later, we had to flag her down again to get our food, which she brought right away but it was slightly cold, I'm sure the kitchen made it, she just forgot to deliver it to the table. Â Doh!
If I owned this place, I would
1. Give a chef and kitchen staff a raise
2. Fire every one of the incompetent wait staff, including the sleepy at 6pm woman.
There is no reason to employ incompetent unmotivated people in this economy.
3. Clean up the creepy wood themed bathrooms.
Under normal circumstances I would have dinged this place more for the awful service, but it's got the best effing food in the state.
I've been here on numerous occasions for lunch, drinks, and apps and I always liked it just enough to come back again. They have this cheeky, quirky way in the delivery of their vibe that I really enjoy. From the bunny rabbit nursery rhymes in the bathroom, to the projector screen spitting out the most random films you've ever seen, it's definitely one-of-a-kind.
Buuuut.... Lately, it has been really hard to get over the exceptionally slow/poor service. They do have decent food and wine (surprisingly!), a cool patio and vibe going on, but poor service is such a turn off! Fix your snooty bartenders and too young and inexperienced servers and I'm sure your rating will jump up - atleast, mine would.
There are two Forest Room 5s. The first is the beautiful little bar with rustic seating and a gorgeous little patio complete with stream and firepit. This is the Forest Room 5 during the day. The other Forest Room 5 is the creepy bar project weird French cartoons on their wall that involve a lot of garishly drawn lady parts and a plot that would probably be impossible to follow even if it was in English.
When the sun goes down, Forest Room 5 just gets weird. The servers are some sort of absent minded professors of delicious food and a great beer selection. So, you get a friendly server, but they will likely space out on something or say something so bizarre that you'll be reeling for several minutes.
Also, the rape bathroom.
If you're going to go to Forest Room 5, go while the sun is still up and shining through their big, bright windows. Be warned when the sun goes down.
It's like the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde of bars.
I would love to give this bar a better rating - the atmosphere is great, food is good, and drinks are decent.
But, I have been to Forest Room 5 several times, and the one thing that is keeping it from being great is the disturbingly poor service.
The owner should hire some bartenders other than his/her loser nephews (i.e. some people who care about decent service).
Other than that - cool place!
Throwaway Style is how you'd describe how quickly I spend my paychecks here in Denver.
But here's the thing - you just don't see as many inventive, creative, oddly decorated bars in such a small radius. You can walk around the corner to Vita's sophisticated mandarin-orange colored lit bar and see something entirely different, Lo Hi, too. But with Forest Room 5, the second I walked in I knew I wanted to pack a light bag and a tent and go camping with the owner. From the looks of the place it seems like he'd know how to tell a good ghost story.
There's a projector that displays movies like Eraserhead or the Olympics in Berlin in the 1930s. Birds, clouds, old clocks with pendulums, a red glowing-eye lit bathroom with someone narrating animal mating rituals and what have you. Logs, tvs stacked on top of tvs all turned to perpetual static, a private party room, dining tables, an outdoor hang out with seating, bonfire pits and sometimes movies play on a screen just above the river.
The bartenders are friendly, funny, and serve stronngg drinks. Moderate pricing. I've never tried the food though I plan to one day. Forest Room 5 is a real cool experience and I love to take my out of town friends here and watch their reaction. Kind of like drinking during a hallucination. Take it as it is and you'll definitely enjoy it.
Every time I show up at this place, I end up reminding myself why I never want to go back.
We had ordered drinks and were enjoying them in the midst of other patrons. Â About 30 minutes later, we heard the yell that the bar was closing in 10 minutes. Â I had no problem with that. Â However, to the d-bag bartender that thought it was appropriate to walk by our table 4 times and tell us each time that we needed to a) finish our drinks, b) hurry up and c) that we were holding them up from closing, you were rude.
We were not the only people in the bar. Â Both my date and I have worked in the service industry, so we are respectful to what is asked of us, but that was ridiculous. Â Turn on the lights and that makes people leave. Â Rudely telling us that you are getting pressure to get people out is unacceptable. Â
My most recent experience has reminded me why I will never go back again.
We like the hit the "trendy" places early to get in on the happy hour specials and be in & out before the bar crowd crowds in. We ordered from the tapas menu and had the smoked trout, risotto, mussels & clams, diver scallops, and truffle fries.
Pros:
*Food is REALLY good.
*Food comes out fast, properly seasoned and good temp.
*Good wine selection of little, obscure wineries
Cons:
*Service sucked, which seemed to be more of a management issue than a wait staff issue. One waitress on a Friday evening is NOT enough.
*It's HOT in there. It was 90 degrees today and not much cooler inside. In fact, by the time we left around 7:30, it was cooler outside.
*White wine should be cooled, but not refrigerated.
Overall, it's tough to say if I'd go back or stick with my favorite tapas place, 9th Door. At FR5, the tapas plates are bigger but also pricier.
*Note.....I really dislike downtown places that have sub-par service, drinks, food and super high prices and rely on their trendy downtown decor and location. This place borders on that.
Whoa...what's going on in this place???
"I'm totally creeped out..." I whisper under my breath as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...aka...the creepy hallway to the bathroom with strange animal sounds.
Awkwardness abounds here and it totally distracts me from my mission...noting eloquent points that are to be mentioned in my Yelp! review...
It's like walking into that crazy man's grandma's house from Silence of the Lambs...just not sure what's happening. And WHY it happened.
The only way I have been able to endure this place is by sitting outside...even if it's freezing cold. I have ordered drinks and tapas there. All were "eh." I don't know why I've gone back two or three times.
Honestly, I'm completely confused right now just thinking about all of this...which certainly isn't going to make this a helpful review.
So, let's break it down - the 'ol two star breakin' it down methodology:
1. Creepy and awkward. I get it, kind of. It's that Emo-ish, American Apparel, folk-lorian (totally made that word up), Rapunzel-esque decor...plus strange noises and scary mannequins placed in rooms that scare the crime-a-nittly out of you when you walk around the corner.
2. Food and drink - ok at best.
3. Service. Every waitress I have had there looks completely puzzled when I order...and I'm pretty sure I'm not speaking gibberish. This one lady looked almost completed glazed over and just stared at me for a moment...oh perhaps she was entranced by the random magical animals dancing in the river beside me. Whoa.
I actually believe that if I wasn't so creeped out by this place that I might enjoy it more.
But, if you're there with a great group of people you can forget about the mannequin in the small dark room that almost made you pee your pants...again.
Why, why do my friends always want to come here?!?! It makes we want to rethink our entire relationship when I feel the social need to be a good friend but am forced to go to one of my least favorite bars in all of Denver.
A typical evening, with bullet-points:
1. What is UP with that giant table in the center of the room? It blocks the servers from being able to get around, it clogs up the flow of patrons to the bathrooms, and most importantly WHY am I always the one who is somehow in the way?
2. Where is our server? Hello? Hello? I really need a drink if I'm going to put up with this place.
3. Stop pushing me. Really. There is no where for me to go. We are all trapped here. We will all DIE here.
4. Seriously honey, you're wearing that child's shirt as a dress? Really? And those spiky heels... how did you walk on the icy sidewalks in those? You must have ankles of STEEL!
5. ENOUGH with the freaky animated cartoons from the projector. Stop. Now. Sob.
6. Where IS my drink?
7. Whoa, this bathroom is freaky. Hooting owl sounds and a darkened room? Really?
8. Oh, you want to leave too? OK, just let me find our server to cancel the drink order....
The appeal of Forest Room 5 is how compartmental and modular it is. Â I had no idea, judging from outside on the street, as to how large it actually is inside. There are at least five distinct and different areas, each with its own taste, flavor, and vibe.
A good example of this could be seen during the Presidential Debate watch parties. In one room, viewers observed the debate and quietly commented to each other, while in another room, watchers cheered and jeered like the most avid and excited sports fans.
The atmosphere is overall funky and cool with overhead projectors playing above the bar, retro and avant garde pieces hanging about. The patio was fairly awesome, and I want to go back again soon before it gets too Brrrr to enjoy it.
The food is better than the drinks are. Â At least, the mojito I had was nothing to write home about, and I'm glad I bought it at happy hour price and not for seven dollars. Â I'd suggest sticking to a basic drink, be it a beer you like, or a liquor + mixer you enjoy, and then get the jerk port sandwich.
In psychiatry, the clinical term frotteurism (no longer called frottage) refers to a specific paraphilia which involves the non-consensual rubbing against another person to achieve sexual arousal. The majority of frotteurs are male and the majority of victims are female, although female on male and male on male frotteurs exist.
Okay, psychiatry lesson over. I just wanted you to be fully informed when I tell you that Forest Room 5 is OVERFLOWING with Frotteurists. My friend had some guy's junk on her shoulder as he lingered WAY TOO LONG at the bar while trying to figure out who'd closed his tab (the dummy later found his credit card in his wallet). In the case of the women, they prefer to Frotteur with their purses and their big hair.
Seriously, get your purse out of my buttcrack. SERIOUSLY.
We went for the beer, and were sorely disappointed that-- aside from many microbrew options (which I don't drink in quantity)-- they ONLY offer Coors product. Add this to the huge, spray-painted "DRILL DRILL DRILL" emblazoned across the wall behind the bar, and the propensity for big, upswept hair favored by its female patrons, and I had to ask the bartender, "is this a Sarah Palin bar?"
Yes, I really asked him that.
He assured me that it wasn't, that they were "extremely Democratic," and that the huge DRILL DRILL DRILL was an attempt at humor. Okay. Well then can you tell the Palin wannabe behind me to get her GIANT PURSE OUT OF MY ASS?
Seriously. It's still there.
And by the way, no self-respecting "Democratic Bar" would serve only Coors products when it comes to domestic beer options. Think about it.
Frotteurists and Coors products notwithstanding, the giant table in the middle of the bar area has GOT to go. I'm sure it looks cool during a mellow dinner service, but it really messes up the Feng Shui of the place when it's packed to the gills with annoying, icky people. My chi had NOWHERE to flow. And even if it could flow, it'd probably get all tangled up in Frotteurists and Palin Hair and ohmygawd seriously MOVE YOUR DAMN PURSE BEFORE I HAVE TO KICK YOUR ASS.
I like the decor of Forest Room 5.
I like the outside patio area because it's large.
I like the drink menu because they have lots to offer including Effen vodka (thanks Andrea!). And the bartenders make 'em strong.
I like the food menu because they have lots of small plates (hello mini grilled cheese with tomato soup!) as well as more filling large items. And it's good.
But, what I like most about Forest Room 5 is that the last Wednesday of every month they host Tetris League! That's right in the back you you pony up $5 and get to participate in double-elimination, head-to-head battles of who can get the pieces in the best holes. What? That's what you do.
See you there next month!
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