Ahh.. The Keyhole.. Quintessential hole in the wall dive.. And proud of it, complete with allegations of coke dealing former bar wenches, crock pot buffet spread, and yes the $1 shot (was sunny-d.. now tang??). This place almost gives you street cred in mission, and once you go here you will stay away from JJ's. Â Almost charming with the mix of patrons and strong jukebox. Â If your date appreciates this joint, she might just be a keeper.. (or might stab you in your sleep).. Enjoy!
Review Source:I pretty much just stumbled into this bar not knowing what it was. I've never been to a "private club." The bartender was very friendly, and helped us feel welcome even though we had no idea about the rules of a private club.
It was a fun experience and kind of a step into a world I'd never seen.
The thought of Saturday night at a place like this holds such a special place in my heart that it brings me to tears. Â Cold beer, an almost comical mix of people, and a jukebox full of songs just begging for face-melting air guitar solos. Â Now I am well-known for my frequent and skilled Belvedere consumption and I never travel without a bottle of red (or at least a corkscrew and the address of the nearest liquor store), but I find something so charming about a place that I wouldn't dare order either of those things.
Review Source:We moved to Mission over a year ago and found this little dive.(The OLDEST Bar in Johnson County) It's now our home away from  home! YES, we are members! This private club (dumb law but cheap membership), is the most laid back environment you will find. The bartenders are great, drinks are cheap and the jukebox has the BEST cheesy music ever!  I encourage you to come check out the Keyhole.. not a member?, I'll sign you in as my guest - I'm usually there anyway!
Review Source:You had better brush up on the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody if you are even THINKING of setting foot in this fine establishment as you and 48 of your closest friends will be preforming this at some point during the night. Â (In parts)
I lolled at the post that mentioned bathroom(s), that is a singular entity at this establishment. Â
Sometimes there is live music, usually one guy, but he's cool. Â Recently, they've added a hilariously enormous TV in the corner as well. Â What's nice about this place is the group always has different interests. Â This past Saturday it was dancing while touching every person in the bar, watching the Royals game, singing songs like they were streaming from my ipod and apparently founding as ass appreciation group. Â (That can be taken however you like.) Â
The Keyhole needs to be appreciated for what it is, go and get down with your divey self.
Dive bar. Let me repeat - dive bar. This is not a swanky, see-and-be-seen, sip a martini, dine on tapas bar. They serve cold domestic beer and shots made from Tang (yes, the orange stuff). But, if you like dive bars, this place is the real deal ... fun, laid back, friendly service, clean bathrooms and occasional live music.
Things to keep in mind: It's small (not for people who don't like bumping into other people), cash only and no food is served.
So, I say go. Grab a couple bottles and enjoy the tang shots!
Lol - I'm laughing about the "man cave" comment, b/c this place is definitely that.  Not only were my friend and I the only ladies, we were the only drinkers there under 40.  Definitely stuck out  a bit, but we still got great service and loved applying to be a member to the club.  EXCLUSIVE!  Can't wait to go back for a laid-back afternoon or evening of cheap pints and chilling.
Review Source:The Keyhole opened as a private club, which bars in Kansas are forced to do if less than 33% of their money is made on food sales. Dumb law. Anyway, they had not been enforcing this and got slapped with a huge fine so now they are following the dumb law rules.
What this means:
If you want to buy drinks at the Keyhole you have to be a member or the guest of a member. Memberships cost $10 and you get two free drinks with the purchase, so really you're paying for two drinks and a small fee. And you only have to do it once. Or if you're a guest, you don't have to pay anything. You just...sign in.
The laws are dumb but they have to follow it. I hope this doesn't turn people away because it really is a good bar and a fun time.
My man cave has a maximum capacity of 49.
What does a good man cave consist of? Well, at least one HDTV. Games like Silver Strike, Golden Tee, & Mega Touch. Decor consisting of old beer signs, swimsuit model calendars, and a picture of a white dog that looks possessed. A liquor selection with all the basics. Cheap beers on tap. A good bartender. A shitter. And a space small enough that someone, or something, will stop you from falling off your bar stool.
Its my new home away from home.
The Key Hole is not meant to be the hottest spot in town. Â You go here for a cold beer, and a visit with the locals. Â The city of Mission are nice folks, and are known to strike up a good conversation. Â The jukebox has good tunes, and they have ice cold PBR. Â That's what it is, and that's what it is meant to be. Â Cheers.
Review Source:Once or twice a week, a group of masked individuals stealthily piles into a black van. Their mission is simple: to round up at least 3 rowdy, incredibly interesting or hilarious people and drop them off at the Keyhole Tavern.
In my mind, something like this must be happening every other time I'm in this place.
Yes, the establishment is a dive. The patrons and staff wouldn't have it any other way. This simply doesn't matter, because with a crowd-pleasing jukebox, a terrific cast of characters and good, solid service as Chad S. mentioned, you're most likely in for a good time.
Whether singing Bob Marley's "Redemption Song" at the top of your lungs with Zambian natives, being told you're "semi-cute and man smart" or watching a random guy with a goofy hat try to play guitar along with live entertainment that wasn't invited to do so, you're going to have a good time.
Be sure you bring cash.
If you love small neighborhood bars with cheap drinks, outdoor seating in the summer, friendly staff who know your name and regulars who make you feel welcome, then you'll love The Keyhole in Mission. I've had the opportunity to take several friends there who were hesitant at first, but ended up loving it. Unlike Kristen B's experience, I have never had an "older lady bartender" ... but then again we may have different ideas of what qualifies. Â I've always found the Keyhole to be a great place to relax & have a drink - and isn't that what a bar is for?
One note, like other small "dive" bars the Keyhole only takes cash so don't even try to throw the plastic on the bar unless you want it tossed right back at you.
This place might have the best dive bar toilet in the city. Â My friend who takes Imodium AD anytime he thinks about going out was comfortable using it.
Very tight fit inside. Â Bar only, no food...unless you count a couple of crockpots that were sitting on a table. Â I would only recommend going here when it's nice outside so you can enjoy the surprisingly large patio in the back.
The owner, or maybe he was just a bartender, played the boy Superman in the original Superman movie. Â He was also apparently in Pumpkinhead.
This bar gets 3 stars because it is what is and that is what it is. It is a tiny dive bar that sells cheap drinks and has  older lady bartenders who kick you out with yelling and no apology(nothing wrong with their age, just a detail that I find qualifies a certain type of bar).  I went here several times with an old roomie, whose "crew" made the Keyhole their "spot". It has one bowling game and maybe one other game a few tables and a bar with five stools. I saw a good friend that a had not seen in awhile here. It was so random but she told me they love it.
I guess it is the laid-back, no nonsense, no dress code atmosphere that becomes charming when you have been going to bars for awhile and have seen the gimicks--scantily clad wait staff, door guy with secret service microphone, cover charges, too hip for his britches DJ-- and at the end of the day all you want is to talk to your friends and drink a few adult beverages without breaking the bank. The Keyhole is charming in the same way Panchos Mexican food is a good late night feast and your ex-boyfriend 's two am phone call is the idea of the century---it's not really explainable--it just is what it is.
You find yourself in Mission wanting to dive deeper than the Clarett? What other options do you have? Â Look no further, the Key Hole Tavern is here. Â Ripped vinyl chairs? Â Check. Â Bathroom with toilet on cinder blocks and padlock to hold door closed? Â Check. Â Barely working climate control that recirculates smoke? Check. Â The cheapest drinking you can do outside your own home? Â Check. Â
The service has always been average to good and you can't beat the prices. Â $2 will get you a bottle of anything pretty much any day of the week. Â If you go on a weeknight and do the specials, I'm not sure you can drink that cheap at home now that I think about it. Â So if you aren't a clean freak and don't mind a little smoke, this is a good place to hang out. Â I think the coming smoking ban will include this place, so I really need to go by and see if they are still open.
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