Lannie's Clocktower Cabaret

Oh my god so much fun!! Very entertaining! I went for the 90's themed show and the girls work it! Ill be here all the time now!!

An absolutely charming venue with excellent sight lines from 99% of the seats.

We purchased tickets for their Saturday night Burlesque show on their website with relative simplicity. All tickets are will-call, but I brought a print-out of my confirmation e-mail just in case.

Doors opened at 11 and everyone in the small lobby was ushered down the stairs, then we waited for the door person to confirm reservations and take visitors to their tables.

Somehow we were seated at a front-row table. Score! Boobies without the need for squinting.

The pre-show entertainment was lackluster. A Jewish/Irish guy singing old Irish drinking songs. He wasn't very good and was not entertaining in the least. He made the half-hour wait for boobies more awkward than it already was.

When the MC, Naughty Pierre, came on stage, the mood lightened a bit. He's a funny guy and a great MC. My only complaint is that he got more time on stage than any of the girls, because he started the show then came on between each girls' set. I want to see boobies, not a middle-aged gay guy cracking jokes.

On to the "burlesque". I have many complaints. I have, in my mind, an idea of what burlesque is. It involves women of many different shapes and sizes tantalizing the audience with a fully-clothed dance that eventually turns into an almost-nude finale.

Not here.

The girls each had about 5 minutes. Not long enough to get you hot and bothered. Almost every girl was the same in shape and body type: blonde and tiny... save for the two Asians... brunette and tiny. I was hoping for a little chubby-girl love... instead, the only chubby girl at this club was a stage-hand who cleaned props off the stage between sets. Really disappointing.

In addition, there wasn't much that left the audience salivating. The girls did their dance in five minutes, then as soon as they revealed their pasties, they scurried off the stage. I guess I was expecting a little more sensuality. Instead, this show focused more on the funny/schtick.

We spent $50 on tickets. I don't really feel like the "show" was worth that much. Yes, the girls are in incredible shape and there were parts that made me laugh, but I came for burlesque and I left still wanting burlesque.