One of my go to breakfast spots in Chicago. Very relaxed atmosphere with a low noise level. While this is not a place to go in large groups, it's a perfect spot for a catch up with one or two friends.
Being vegetarian, I love that I can eat the whole menu. There is nothing worse than being limited to one or two items. There are many vegan substitutes available as well!
The scrambles here are very good, especially if you opt to make your own - you'll always get exactly what you want! I would HIGHLY recommend the french toast with the fresh raspberries. I would vote it as the best french toast I have ever had. The fruit is all extremely ripe and juicy. They also make their own bread so if you order the french toast or even just regular toast, it will taste much better than most places' store bought loaf.
Parking here is a bit difficult because there are tons of popular restaurants located nearby. On a nice day, definitely talk a walk over to Roscoe or take the train because the neighborhood is a great one to wander around in.
Be prepared to wait during normal busy breakfast times: late morning and weekends. Since they usually don't serve big groups, the table turnover is pretty good. Also, the tables are very close together so when it is crowded, do not expect to have an intimate date. You won't be right on top of the couple next to you but they will definitely be able to hear what you're saying if they choose to listen.
This is a perfect spot for veggies and vegans alike or just people looking for a healthy yet delicious breakfast!
If you're okay with being served by, and giving your money to a very overly happily cult (seriously, they don't hide this at all), you owe it to yourself to come. I'm not vegetarian by any means, but the food is just the best. All made on site, all fresh, and awesome. The coconut chai french toast (actually any french toast especially with their homemade citrus butter) is probably one of the best french toast's I've had in my entire life.
Review Source:Fun flavors and options, a young crew and an overall good vibe.
While I like this place, I could love it if they updated the decor as it is a bit strange and learned how to plate food a little more thoughtfully.
For example, my eggs with tortilla came out in one gnarly looking lump which initially gave me a very low opinion of it and almost sent it back but it turned out to be tasty.
There is value in the theater of food in any type of restaurant.
If you like curry and are willing to eat outside of the box, try their curry omelet. It's fabulous(!) and you probably won't find it anywhere else.
They are in my top 5 places to go to for a chai tea in Chicago so don't miss out on having a warm beverage with your breakfast.
Good service, great food, and you can usually find decent (free) parking in the neighborhood. I would love it if they had some meat options, but that won't deter me from coming back for more curry omelets.
So I read the Veg-o friendly tip and thought I have to take my friend here:)
We enjoyed some delicious brunch on a rainy Saturday. Â We only had to wait about 5-10 minutes. Â The woman who seated us was very kind and appreciative of us waiting.
We enjoyed some DELICIOUS out of this world amazzzzing French toast. Â Its like my new favorite to be able to order it as a half order with eggs is amazing!
Will be back for some other veg-o friendly times, warm staff, cute neighborhood atmosphere and delicious food.
This is one of my favorite brunch spots in Roscoe Village. I hesitate to share, but obviously the secret is out given the weekend brunch crowds. It has a bit of a hippie, spiritual vibe, but have no fears of overwhelming patchouli smells. The food is fresh, bountiful, and kind of healthy. Even more so if you are intentional about it. The chai tea is fantastic, and they serve an Indian cream of wheat type dish that you should try if you're up for something different. Given the big crowds in a limited space, the service is pretty good too.
Review Source:After reading only great things about Victory's Banner I was excited to try it. Â
They have a completely vegetarian menu with vegan options as well.
I heard the french toast was a must try so I ordered that, unfortunately it wasn't as good as I was hoping. Â I ordered one slice and it was huge. Â It looked tasty, but fell flat. Â I just didn't care for the flavor and felt like it was bit undercooked. Â
However the Satisfaction Promise (eggs, pesto, sun dried tomatoes, spinach, and feta) I ordered was very tasty!
Very popular, small, inviting place. Â Tucked in Roscoe village, this palce has a lot of charm. Waitresses are dressed in saris and they serve you warm chai while you wait. Â This is a great place to go on a chilly fall or winter day!
A group of us went and tried a few of the breakfast foods: Uppama, breakast combo and french toast. Â They have some vegetarian and vegan options as well. Â I am not a vegan or vegetarian, but was pleasantly surprised by the Uppama. Â It was seasoned well with spices. Â The breakfast combo and the French toast were tasty as well. Â They use peach butter and real maple syrup on the French toast.
This place was really busy for brunch on a Sunday, but it was worth the wait! Â The chai that they give you while you wait is excellent.
I like Victory's Banner. Â Admittedly, I am a bit "crunchy" and prefer to stick to vegetarian food. Â I love that they offer all vegetarian food and breakfast meat substitutes (fake sausage and bacon is becoming more widely available, but not always available, and often if available really foul). Â But my husband is not predominantly vegetarian and loves this place. Â
One of the highlights of this place is that they make their own chai tea and it is delicious. Â They will let you take a go cup of it with you when you leave. Â I have never had the lunch foods - only breakfast, but they offer a great variety of sweet and savory breakfast options. Â The french toast is thick and delicious, and every egg dish I have had is great. Â My husband got a special fall pumpkin and other fall things french toast last time we were there and it was fantasic. Â
The downside of Victory's Banner, which is not their fault, is that their dining room is small, so in the winter when there is no outdoor seating their weekend waits get pretty long and a little unpredictable. Â Best to get their early or have a little snack if you are already starving. Â But last time I had to wait for a loong time they clearly went out of their way to take my order and feed me quickly (I had been perusing the menu while I waited so already knew what I wanted), which I appreciated.
I don't understand how this place has 4 stars. The only really positive thing about this place is the friendly staff.
Pros:
- Staff are very nice
- They are VERY eager to get you a drink and refills?? Strange but nice. We were asked by every single server there if we wanted a drink at some point.
- Place is cute enough
Cons:
- There are pictures of the owner/yogi EVERYWHERE - Weird and not really my kind of ambience when I'm out for a Sunday brunch. Big turn off.
- There is no organization with the wait staff. There seemed to be no designated host/hostess and our table did not have a designated waiter. Every single staff person there helped us at some point, which means we did not know who to call on and we were sometimes neglected. Management needs to step in and organize the staff.
- The food was the most disappointing part of the experience. Veggie delight omelet had few veggies and no taste except for the cheese that we added to it. The grilled potatoes were undercooked and not flavorful....sadly, these may be the worst grilled potatoes I have ever had and they should be so easy to make. One of the specials, some cornbread type pancakes with salsa were fine, but nothing I would go back for.
Overall, my husband and I left very disappointed that we waited for 40 minutes and wasted $30.
Their neatloaf sandwich is probably hands down my favorite sandwich from anywhere.
I think it may also be one of my favorites because it is always consistently great. I have never ordered food that wasn't good. I have had a few other things over the years but 9/10 times I get the same thing, but like I said the same thing is always tasty.
Not to mention everyone is always friendly and they always offer me a drink if I am waiting for my food.
Came here on a recommendation from a local Chicago friend. Let's just say these fellow yelpers never had amazing french toast.
1. We got there on a Sunday at 10:30 & sat at 11:00.
2. Once we were seated & ordered (the French toast btw) took approx. 40 mins to be served & there people who were seated after us, served before us.
3. My toast wasn't fully cooked; saw the server even rush the cook.
Conclusion:
I needed to drench my toast in syrup, something I never do. Service was slow and unappreciated.
I suggest they focus more on how to run a restaurant business than their meditation.
I'm normally a savory-for-breakfast kind of person, but felt like I needed a sugar kick when I was brought here, and went for the raspberry french toast. Thick cut, perfectly cooked, with delicious tart raspberry sauce and fresh berries. The restaurant is completely vegetarian, and the robes, spiritual books for sale, and general crunchy vibe is explained on their website:
"All of us who work here are students of meditation, and study with the Indian Spiritual Master Sri Chinmoy. The restaurant is a reflection of the impact Sri Chinmoy has had on our lives, and it is inspired by him."
Good for you, Sri Chinmoy. Your students make a delicious breakfast.
As soon as my friend mentioned we would be going to brunch the next morning at a vegetarian friendly restaurant, I was sold. We passed dozens of small, cozy restaurants with outdoor seating along our walk, but it was worth the constant grumble in my stomach with each passing smell to wait for this place.
When you enter, you may be taken aback by the staff wearing free flowing sari's and loose clothing. Â Once you settle into your table, you can read the article on the menu on how the restaurant makes money for an annual retreat. Â Because the staff is invested in their cause, they take good care to treat you with respect and unlimited kindness. Â
The coffee, my most important part of the morning, was strong and delicious. There are refills, which I was not certain about since the waitresses didn't come around till almost the end of our meal with more. Â I chose to make my own egg skillet mix with broccoli and onions and tofu. As a non-meat eater, I was trying to place the flavor palette they chose, and when a friend tried a piece of tofu she said it was teriyaki sauce. Â It took some adjustment (as I usually eat my eggs with hot sauce but the sweet hot mix was not good), but I definitely can say the meal was overpoweringly good. I, personally, cannot eat the bread that came with the meal, but it looked SO good. Light, fluffy and delicious with freshly whipped butter. Â No one complained and the table favorite was soy bacon, who'd have thought?
This was our second time here. First time was with fairly young children and I have almost no recollection of what we ate.
Today we had 2 cups of coffee and 1 order of the "Award-Winning French Toast". Â Unfortunately, in our opinion, almost nothing stood out. It was dece French toast and nice and thick (if you're into that) but the restaurant was super slow and they almost forgot the peach butter..
We also made sure to ask if we could get fresh raspberries (only because we saw them offered with something else) and the waitress said yes.. my mom got a small ramekin of raspberry sauce.. weak, in my opinion..
It's a super relaxing corner and their decor is very in line with the Zen mantra they've got going but $2.75 for a cup of coffee? Maybe $2 so my wallet can harmonize with their good vibes too:)
Finally got to try this place recently. It's a small place, but we got here late on a Saturday just before close so there was barely anyone there. I ordered the chocolate french toast with nuts. I think it may have been nutella, but whatever it was, it was DAMN good! I tried my wife's breakfast burrito and it was delicious. This place knows what they are doing with their food.
It was definitely worth making the trip out here for this place!
Great breakfast place!
I have been here two times so far and have been happy with my choices! Â The first time I was here I ordered an omelette, it was delicious but I had a little twinge of food envy when I saw my friend's special pancakes. Â On my second trip here I ordered their famous french toast combo. Â Wow their french toast is really out of this world! Â Their french toast is made with thick texas toast slices so it is not only fluffy and soft, but it comes with peach butter on the side, and to be honest, it is soo good I could actually even eat it without syrup. Â But let's not get too crazy here. Â
This is not a very big restaurant so be forewarned that there will most likely be a wait when you go! Â
I want to come back and try their veg/vegan burger and sandwiches!
Ehhh....I don't get the hype. Â I'd visited Victory's Banner once before (in 2008, I think?) and found it sufficiently unimpressive to not re-visit until today. Â I was meeting two of my girlfriends for brunch and one, who is a vegetarian, suggested Victory's Banner.
My friend arrived first, put her name in and was quoted a 30-45 minute wait. Â That, to me, is ridiculous. Â But it was a fairly nice day (though rainy...fortunately VB has a tent outside under which you can wait) so we decided to wait it out and chat. Â We weren't seated until an hour later. Â I realize the restaurant is tiny and it can be hard to predict table turnover, but the 15 minute wait past the high end of the quoted time was annoying. Â
I will say two very positive things about the restaurant: the inside is adorable and the staff is awesome. Â Everyone was very friendly and our coffee was refilled frequently. Â Unfortunately, none of the food was impressive. Â I had the breakfast bagel sandwich (with faux meat and cream cheese) and it was just...there. Â It wasn't bad, but it wasn't really good either. Â The eggs, in particular, seemed really rubbery and bland. Â The side of potatoes was underseasoned and again...just there. Â I ate about five of them and let the rest go back to the kitchen. Â I was also able to try my friend's "award-winning" french toast and was thoroughly underwhelmed. Â Overall everything just seemed really bland and middle of the road. Â I'm baffled by the high Yelp average.
I spent about as much on this brunch as I did at the one I had at Cafe 28 last weekend (around $20) but I waited an hour longer for this one and it was about 25% as good. Â That math doesn't add up. Â I won't be back to Victory's Banner.
The food here was excellent. Â No complaints, in fact I will probably come back again very soon. Â Also, love the location. Â However it is missing 5 stars due to 2 things:
1. Â The service was horrible. Â We sat there for 20 minutes before we were acknowledged.
2. Â We had 3 menus all with different prices. Â CHECK YOUR MENUS! Â We felt like we were getting ripped off, especially when we found out the price was higher than all 3!
It took over an hour and a half
To seat four in our party.
All the bhindi-wearing staff
With saris tucked, made smiles so hearty.
We talked of what to order:
Four dishes, all to share,
Like making four visits, as a daily supporter.
Still, the wait was worth it, I swear.
Two french toasts: the award-winning one
And crème brulée, both breakfast desserts.
Fluffy to the core, and neither overdone.
Um, buttons are popping off our shirts.
My curry wrap needed all fingers ten.
Apple chutney! Drool-worthy, this wrap!
Just as monks have their zen--
Oh no! Chutney fell in my lap!
That's okay, plenty of uppama
To go around. Never knew a cereal
Of yogurt cream could make me say, "Ooh, ah, the
Coconut chutney makes Chi-town brunch super ethereal.
I've been curious about this place for multiple reasons for quite a while. Â
[[ How does this place stack up to other local brunch places? Â
What's up with the Indian spiritual focus? Â *I still can't really answer that question... but it was a most pleasant b.fast experience, and the service was great, so I'm okay with it ]]
I've attempted to dine here on several previous occasions, but the wait has always been too long...
FINALLY. Â made it! Â It was worth the wait and the persistence.
My sister and I miraculously made it in to Victory's Banner on a Sunday morning - prime brunch time / 10:30-11am - with no wait whatsoever. Â I was flabbergasted and thrilled and ready to get my eat on.
This place is tiny, which is why there is ALWAYS a wait. Â *Not for my most recent visit though ;-) Â We were cheerfully seated along the wall in the back at a little table adorned with a shallow vase of fresh cut greens/flowers, a small dispenser of 'real maple syrup', a carafe of water with lemon, and the usual offering of sugars and salt/pepper. Â Nice.
The (mouth-watering) FOOD:
I ordered their 'award-winning' french toast. Â Well, it won my award too! Â That was probably the best french toast I've ever had. Â It had to have been 2" thick, light bread, just the perfect shade of golden brown, crispy, delicate yet chewy, served with a little scoop of fresh peach butter. Â ughhhh... SO good. Â I also got a side of 2 scrambled eggs with cheddar. Â This sounds simple enough, but not all eggs are equal. Â These were exceptionally good - perfectly cooked (not dried out, not overcooked), and the cheddar was a great addition. Â
Sister ordered their hot chai (yummy) and a buckweat waffle with diced, spiced apples and walnuts. Â Also really good; but come on - the french toast kicked that waffle's ass. Â
Good luck getting in; and if/when you do - enjoy!
Ate the two most boastful items on the menu! "Satisfaction Promise & Award Winning French Toast". The AWFT is yum! So tasty, fluffy and that apricot buttaaaaa MMMMM! The Satisfaction Promise was well, satisfying but heck, I am satisfied as long as I get to eat! I will venture to try other things but the French Toast is one of the best!!!!
**Word to servers: When one orders the Award Winning French Toast don't reply " Oh, you want the REGULAR one". Â It takes away the magic :(
This place is...ok.  The place is small, the servers are nice, the service is quick, the food is vegetarian.  They're knows for their french toast.  I'm not sure why, the only special thing about  it was it was on super thick slices of bread.  I also had the Steverino omelet, caramelized onions, bell pepper and goat cheese and potatoes on the side, the better option. Â
Boyfriend liked it, I didn't hate it. Â If I lived in the area I would come back but I don't so, meh.
There's a wait. Â I don't know why I'm mentioning that. Â It's brunch on a weekend, of course there's a wait.
I'm a big fan of Victory Banner because I know it is a safe and inviting place to bring my vegetarian/vegan/gluten-free friends. Their menu is unique, which is a high compliment for the multitude of restaurants in Chicago. I also like the ambiance of white against blue walls with yellow trip (that comes off as calming and not Swedish pride - which is far from their yoga-esque mission).
Victory Banner is known for their award-winning French toast made with a soft bread that's like challah, and served with vegan peach butter. It's truly delicious.
I also enjoy their mango lassi even if it's a little pricey (over $3).
HOWEVER, I was disappointed to find that my clothes smelled like cooking oil from the restaurant. They need a better ventilation system, and it's embarrassing to have to go home and change clothes because I seriously reeked of oil. Maybe takeout next time?
I had Sunday breakfast there. It's perpetually tiny and crowded on the weekends.
The coffee was ok.
Everything was either soy-based (sausage) and bizarre in texture, tofu-substituted (eggs) and mushy, or just plain flavorless (everything else).
The middle-aged white servers tripping around in Indian sari dress were kind of creepy and offensive too.
It's good that this place is stuffed into ultra-trendy Roscoe Village where people have the money and desire to delude themselves into bizarre lifestyles where they eschew all that is tasty. Might not work out anywhere else.
I didn't know eating healthier could taste so disappointing.
Vegans must love this place.
The anticipated wait has kept me away from trying out Victory's Banner. And wait we did, for at least 45 minutes on a Sunday. Was it worth it? A resounding YES!
VB is very charming, with nice pastel colors which brightened up my mood on the cold, rainy day. The restaurant seems to be dedicated to Sri Chinmoy, an Indian spiritual teacher. But, I wouldn't say it's culty like the Loving Hut chains are.
They feed you coffee, juice or water while you wait, which is a very good thing. There certainly isn't much room when you walk in, and I felt bad for the table we were practically standing on top of. They hold about 45 people, so while not tiny, it's not a large room either.
When we were finally seated, everything moved really quickly. Orders were taken, and food came out in about 10 minutes.
We ordered the french toast, the omelet special of spinach and artichoke, and an egg-white omelet with spinach, soy bacon, and cheddar. They used gouda instead of cheddar, I didn't complain, but it's not my favorite cheese.
The french toast was outstanding, the omelets were ok. The lunch menu looked really interesting and flavorful, I'll be back soon to try that.
All in all, with the philosophy of this place, you can't help but be in a good mood here, just plan on waiting on the weekend.
Everybody who lives in Chicago knows Brunch is a big deal in this city. Â To add to that, there are so many options out there on every street. Â Do we go for a straight breakfast/brunch place or a bar with brunch? Do we want to wait in the lines and more importantly - is it WORTH the wait?
Well, there are several places in this city that offer a great brunch and most of them considered great for different reasons (Great Bloody Mary's, Amazing Pancakes, Love their Coffee, Eggs are perfect).
On our list for a little while now was Victory's Banner. Why? Â Because it's unique in that it's vegan/vegetarian and their breakfast menu is FULL of options.
We walked right in their open door and automatically - you feel good. Â The walls are blue and yellow-very inviting and peaceful. Â The owner came up to us immediately - was incredibly friendly- wiped down a table for us and led us to our seats.
What to get from a Vegan/Vegetarian place?
After much consideration - I landed on the "Healthy Scramble" which was scrambled eggs- your choice of 2 veggies mixed in w/ it along with tofu, brown rice, and bread.
It was AMAZING! Â It had great flavors, everything was cooked to perfection, the brown rice was even good. Â The bread is baked right there as well - and it's nice and soft - full of oats/bran as well.
My husband got the Satisfaction Promise I believe which was scrambled eggs, feta cheese, sun-dried tomatoes, potatoes, and bread. Â
Naturally, I tried his as well and it was also amazing.
I can't say enough good things about this place because the best part about this brunch is the fact that you leave - not so full you need to hit the couch afterwards - but you can continue on with your day satisfied and still able to eat the rest of the day. Â It's not greasy or anything - it really is great.
I think everyone should try it- even if you're not vegan or vegetarian - it really is unbelievable.
Yes, the waiters and waitresses seem like they've been cast under some sort of spell. . .definitely in a trance, yet a peaceful and polite one!
The omelets are unbelievable - choice of egg whites, veggie bacon/sausage (etc.), and a variety of cheese. Heavenly, really.
Perfect for vegetarians, vegans, and the health conscious.
Definitely a brunch staple whenever I visit Chicago.
Good to Know: Stop by Cinnamon Boutique next door, which is a lovely place to peruse adorable clothing and accessories if/when there is a long wait.
There's something very cozy and good here that I can't quite point to one thing, perhaps because it's not just one, but the whole is greater than the sum of it's parts.
It's one of those places where you would be okay dining on your own or SATC style - everyone likes a good breakfast, right?
First time coming here after hearing about for a while now and a perfect place to get a nice pick me up. The ladies at victory's banner wear saris and smiles and if you are the yoga lovin', ashram-type, you'll fit in just fine. However, if you are not - yes the guru's picture is looking at you no matter where you move - do not be scared. The food and vibe here is totally welcoming, sunny, organic and hearty,
The unlimited chai is awesome, but I think I can really only drink one cup even though I had one hot and one cold for the sake of comparison -which btw, the hot chai is what I prefer and is good size! Actually, in fact, the amount of food is really generous and it's mostly organic ingredients. I got the specialty Brie Omelette, they do a nice job with the eggs and it comes with a hunk of toast and potatoes! Â Real maple syrup on the table, easy to find parking, I am sold. I got there early as soon as the doors open on a Sunday morning, no waiting which makes for a more peaceful start of the day.
Loved this place. This place has been on my book marks to try since quite a long time and I finally got a chance to eat breakfast there last weekend. We reached there nice and early like around 8:30 am and there was no wait whatsoever.
The food is super delicious. I ordered the Upma, my hubby ordered the Eggless wonder and a friend ordered the Victory Banner's Award-Winning French Toast. I am an Indian, and I make very good Upma, so I was prepared to be very critical of the dish. But I was blown away, the Upma was perfect. It was perfectly seasoned and the texture was very good too. The peas, carrots adn tomotoes were the perfect addition. Totally loved the dish. My husband enjoyed his Eggless wonder too. The flavors are really clean and healthy. they are not masked by oil, butter or grease. My friends french toast was super good. Very very tasty, and still did not feel too heavy. It is perfectly soft and fluffy and they serve real maple syrup. What's not to love? It's a unique place.... breakfast lovers will definitely love it!!
LOVE this place! As a vegetarian, I was super excited that I'd be living close to a veg friendly brunch place.
Food/Drinks: Started with the chai which is so smooth, and has just the right amount of sweetness. The bottomless chai is worth it for just an extra $1.45. My friend got the infamous french toast--it was definitely good, but not out of this world. The peach butter that accompanied it was unique and the bread itself was soft and melt-in-your-mouth good. My Satisfaction-Promise is def satisfaction guaranteed! Can't go wrong when pesto and feta are involved. :P Had a side of soy bacon which was salty, just how I like it!
Ambiance: Probably my favorite part of the restaurant. It has a spiritual, calm atmosphere. The walls are painted in pastel colors, and there are lovely paintings and flowers around.
Service: So sweet and welcoming. Their smiles are genuine, their spirits pure. I left feeling more at peace.
There are a lot of things I like about Victory's Banner. I only come here for breakfast, although I've had the veggie burrito for breakfast and its very tasty. The satisfaction promise, french toast, and iced chai tea are the bomb. Â And now that they offer the french toast vegan, I'm a pretty happy customer.
The service can be slow, and you will definitely wait for a table if you try to get breakfast/brunch on a weekend. For me the food is worth the average service and long waits.
So. Here's a super serious secret. This place has the best french toast. EVER.
Walked in on a hot as balls Saturday morning. I think we beat the rush because I didn't have to wait for a table. Got some coffee, stat.
The last time I was at this place, I was a full blown vegan, so I didn't get a chance to try their AWARD WINNING french toast. But today, my friends, my Victory's Banner French Toasty Virginity was snatched away. Oh, yes it was.
I got the breakfast special - 2 over easy eggs and one piece of french toast with PEACH BUTTER.
PEACH
MOTHER FUCKING
BUTTER.
And real maple syrup.
Me and my compadre got 2 huge cups of coffee and waited. But it wasn't a long wait.
My gigantic pieces of toasties came out and I feasted. It was sweet, melt in your mouth goodness. The bread is thick and fluffy. The peach butter has huge chunks of peach on it. It was perfection.
I couldn't imagine a more perfect brunch.
So one Saturday my little rockstar DJ friend calls me up and says, "Hey, you know Chess? Â My partner in Moneypenny? Â I guess she's like, completely in love with you and thinks you're handsome and she wanted me to ask you if you wanted to marry her and run away to an island or something." Â I'm kidding. Â That's a dream I have at least three times a week. Â What actually happened is one Saturday my little rockstar DJ friend calls me up and says, "Hey. Â Want to get brunch?" and I go, "Yes. Â I think I'm literally starving."
This Saturday happens to be the day after my birthday, so I've got my two best friends in tow, and all three of us look like the "after" shots from a photo special about meth (because of our hangovers, not because we do meth). Â So we amble down from my apartment into Roscoe Village in search of this restaurant Jessica said to meet her at called Thor's Hammer or something, squinting and blinking and making ocean deep conversation like,
"Did you see that dog?"
"Yeah, I like dogs."
"That chick was hot too."
"I know."
"You should get a dog."
"I have a pitbull. Â You should get a chick."
"Snap."
(We're all basically hunky scientists with huge brains.)
So we find the place, and it's called Victory's Banner and everyone's like, "Well LA DI DA, FANCYPANTS," because really? Â Victory's Banner? Â A little highfaluting, don't you think? Â Still, we're starving, so we sit on the bench out front and wait for Jessica, who is perpetually 35 minutes late to basic social events like brunch but can make it to a soundcheck 20 minutes early.
While on this bench, reading the many little flyers and signs posted in the window, it occurs to us that something is amiss.
"Is this place fucking VEGETARIAN?"
"Oh, damn it, come on! Â We've been walking for 15 minutes! Â The Dinner/Diner Grill was right across the street."
"Oh, cool." (That was Colin. Â He's a vegetarian.)
When Jessica rolls up in her Transitions lenses and funeral garb, pale as Death with bright red lipstick, we start in on the Wet Hot American Summer Paul Rudd foot scuff, whine and pout routine but she's not having it, insisting that it will be delicious and rambling on about peach butter, and Mike and I are just shaking our heads thinking about all the horrid fake sausage we're going to mechanically gnaw while trying not to strangle her.
I myself was already trying not to strangle her because our initial hello went something like,
"Are those Transitions lenses? Â Jesus. Â You look dead. Â What did you do last night?"
"Oh, I went to this Peaches show, and it was awesome. Â You look like shit. Â What did YOU do?"
"Oh, you know, it was my birthday so all of my friends came in form out of state and we had that party I invited you to."
"..."
Etc.
So we went inside.
Well, it turns out that aside from being the most bizarre, let's-all-wear-robes-and-probably-worship-Kali-or-Âwhatever cult center in Roscoe Village, Victory's Banner actually manages to pull off that most unlikely of feats and make everything on their rather impressive menu taste not only not vegetarian but basically delicious. Â We tore through French toast, Greek salad, several egg scrambles with various proportions of goat cheese and spinach and peppers, a pound of Jessica's coveted peach butter, faux breakfast meats and assorted beverages, and every bite was worth commenting upon.
We didn't comment upon them, because between the four of us we had about six working brain cells and spent two hours making the worst jokes imaginable and kind of drooling a little. Â I'm kidding again. Â We're like, the funniest people alive and it was JOKESx15 up in the V.B. but I've actually entertained the thought of returning several times, lured, against all of my better judgement and bone-deep disdain for vegetarians, by their absolutely delicious foodstuffs.
So if you're a vegetarian ... well, eat bacon. Â But also, here's your new home.
If you're not ... for once you won't have to make that horrid face that accompanies tofu. Â Victory's Banner does it right.
Finally. I made it.
Ok, let me first admit...sheepishly (I mean...veggie-ishly) that I totally spaced, and didn't realize this place was vegetarian focused, etc. So imagine my surprise that soy sausage is pretty damn tasty! Who woulda thunk it, eh?
My soy sausage and smoked gouda omelette was quite fantastic. The accompanying 11 cups of coffee (gimme a break, I flew back in late last night!) Â did the trick to keep me alert. SUPER alert. Whoa. Props for the constant stream of caffeination.
I can see why this place jams up on the weekends...as it seats approximately 18 people. My suggestion (if/when possibe): hit on a weekday.
Seems to have a holistic, yoga-like, zen type of vibe. Cool. I like my eggs with a little bitta zen. Not sure of the story behind it, but I'd venture to guess its pretty interesting...as they close twice a year (for a few weeks) to honor their Master in some faraway land...
dig it.
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