The Playboy Mansion

Was given a mini-tour by Ida Ljungqvist, Playmate of the Year 2009 when my sister, her bf, and I were invited last minute. She was extremely down-to-earth and super sweet.

As far as the place goes, we were only allowed to see the perimeters of the mansion and not inside of the actual mansion because Hef was sleeping, so they say. The place is absolutely breathtaking. The zoos he has around his estate is so out of the ordinary it's crazy. At one point, we saw a peacock chillin' on top of a tree.

Hello Darling!

So you won't catch me nude in any magazines! Er, not that I know of...but I was a Playboy Girl of Golf..

A girlfriend of mine got me into it.

That's how I started my affair with Playboy.

I've been to the mansion numerous times(so many I can't remember) for various events. They mansion is a venue basically that any company with big bucks can rent out. I've only been there for one official Hugh Hefner partner.

Usually I go there when the Karma foundation hosts events. These events tend to be themed, classy, festive and fun!

The group of people at the Karma party is much better than other parties I've been to there.

I've been to parties there with the ugliest freaks walking around naked and the slimiest, sleeziest guys. Gross. I block this out.

The Playboy Mansion gets 4 stars because it's one of those places that is cool to say that you've been to, they usually serve a variety of food (sushi, random appetizers, desserts) and the best part of all OPEN BAR.

They also offer coat check, have numerous restrooms, and anyone can take a dip in the pool or grotto.

I'm not a fan of snobby people, fake people, pretentious people- these people can ruin your night. The venue itself is awesome, but the specific party you attend can make or break it.

Typically you park at another location and are shuttled back and forth from the mansion. Parties usually go from 8-2.

Oh yeah, one time I found $200 on the floor.

POINT OF REVIEW: Go if you get a chance. There's nothing typical to expect. Take your picture with as many cute girls as possible, drink your share at the bar, have a blast!

The Playboy Mansion is an event epicenter.  Yes, Hugh throws his shindigs here.  It is his estate after all, but Fortune 500 companies have their parties here too.  

Hotel ballrooms, eat your heart out.

Maybe Hef shows up, maybe he doesn't, you're still at a party inside The Playboy Mansion.  

Going to the Mansion is a bucket list item.  I don't care if you're a man, woman, or child...it was, still is, or will be on your bucket list at some point in your life.  If you have the opportunity, you're going to go.  Plus, that "Girls Next Door" show was so gosh darn cute, how could anyone resist?

A map was given to me of where to park.  UCLA Structure # 4 off of Sunset.  Free parking too.  We parked.  Approached a table to collect our wristbands and sat in black shuttle bus surrounded by private security.

It's a long and windy road up the hill to the mansion.  Vegetation engulfs you along with the "Playmates at Play" and "Watchout for Playmates" road signs.

The shuttle stops in between the mansion and the miniature zoo.  We stepped off and walked the red carpet.  Two models stood to the left and right.  Were they Playboy models?  Honestly, I don't know.  They wore baby blue bunny outfits.  They had fake extensions to their physique.  

They could have very well been Playboy models.  But they weren't that 8x10 glossy photo person I have fantasized about since I was in 4th grade.

Unfortunately, the party wasn't in the mansion.  Hef, we were told was sleeping.

After we strolled past the front courtyard with Victorian statues and fountains, we made our way to the pool.  Looked like a resort pool, and had all of the amenities to be a resort pool too: gas lit heaters, water falls, built in bar and grill.  

The rank of ghosts of Christmas past infamous for drunken sex crazed orgies filled the oversized humidifying hot tub also known as The Grotto.  

Birds and a couple of reptiles, fish, and monkeys are across the path.  Ivy and vines hang overhead.  Some are filled with spider webs, so I'd watch yourself if I were you.  

The hoopla was in a well heated and secure outdoor tent.  The Playboy kitchen cooked the food.  Steak, sushi, mac and cheese, bananas foster, rice pilaf, cookies, chocolate fondue, tuna tartar.

What I'm saying is the food was bland.  Like wedding food or a premiere party to a television show.  I would have preferred a Hungry Man frozen dinner  instead.  Much more flavorful.

The party was not fun but eerie and weird.  Barbies with their boobs hanging out and skirts inching slowly above the equator every second, sat and gave Zoolander's Blue Steel look while checking their iPhones as many sleazy men ogled.

The Barbies didn't talk or take photos.  Only if their managers, publicists and agents gave the okay.

Bucket list item crossed off.  I recommend it to anyone, but once it's accomplished, there's no need to recheck it.

Oh and once you see a Playboy model up close and personal...one is reminded of what a miraculous program Photoshop is.