Drinking Fountain

Can we talk about how Esquire thinks this is one of the best dive bars in America? Because its hardly the best dive bar on Washington Street.

The greatest dive bar in the world.

If you're looking for a place to get drunk in the dark and not meet anyone you would ever want to meet again, this is the place for you.

The regulars are true jp locals- not hipster college kids, the drinks are strong (bordering on blindness-inducing), and the atmosphere is perfect. Perfect.

One word of advice- Do not order a beer you don't see everyone else drinking. Ask for a blue moon and you'll get swill that's probably been sitting in the keg for 10 years. And it will taste like feet.

With the charisma of an aging whore, the Drinking Fountain offers slack-jawed entertainment on a Wednesday night while maintaining a comfortable distance when the parents are visiting.

The house pour is "I lost count" because the bartenders don't care, everyone talks to everyone because the patrons don't care, and the resident pool pro (who, I swear, is a honest-to-hoodness pimp) gives tips on the game because he actually cares. Just not that much.

There is a jukebox that never stops playing, festive fudge for sale behind the bar (applicable holidays only) and what's likely 10% your crowd/90% the crowd your crowd will be in 30 years.

You may leave wearing a layer of antique dust held fast by a pleasant film of tacky humidity, but like the pain of a foot that's fallen asleep, you'll find this dull and weird sensation intoxicating.

Or maybe that's your drink. Whatever.