The Firkin and Fox

OK ordering Calamari in an airport is a bad play, but this was Frikin' terrible.  
Having to ask for a check 3 times and a $8 Guinness ensures that his place is the worst.  Beware...

Just awful.

Hubby and I had an unexpected four hour layover in DC and didn't know where to eat. This place had somewhat decent reviews so we decided to give it a shot.

We really wished we hadn't.

To begin with, it's tiny and cramped and laid out in such a way that one can barely get their carry-ons in, and you are forced the put them against the wall behind you if you sit at the bar because there is no space between the stools. Right off the bat, that made us uncomfortable.

I ordered the Firkin burger; it was greasy, but at least edible. If you do go here, spring the extra two bucks for waffle fries: they were the only thing worth a crap that we were served.

Hubby decided to try the fish and chips--it's an English pub, after all. But oh wow, they were nasty. Flat, thin pieces that were dry and just plain gross. Tasted so fishy we questioned whether it had not gone over. We sent that back and he decided to brave the crab cakes. $11 for two silver-dollar-sized cakes with a couple leaves and a smear of remoulade. They were burnt and so spicy as to be almost inedible. The center was gray and just...gross. I wasn't brave enough to try a bite, but hubby said they had a really weird aftertaste.

If you're looking for a beer, maybe stop here, but I absolutely would not eat there. Just...gross.

Really deserves 3.5 stars, as Firkin and Fox is a titch better than most airport restaurants. Just a titch. Since two other reviewers also said they wanted to give an extra half star but Yelp wouldn't allow it, I can bump my rating up to four stars to help even it out. There, the planets are realigned.

I almost ordered the bangers and mash, but something told me I'd need the iron to fortify me for a long flight ahead to SFO, so I got the bunless burger plate. It was actually pretty good! I mean, it tasted like a good-quality beef patty that hadn't been frozen, and was grilled to order. The salad and fixiings were also decent, especially the half avo that topped it. Shocked, titillated, and giddy from that success, I proceeded to order the bread pudding, on the principle that I must be on a winning streak: it was gooey, just rich enough without being gratuitous, and tasty; a nice finish to an otherwise healthy, gluten-free meal. I know, I'm a howling hypocrite --  he whole point of the bunless burger was to avoid gluten after all --  but unexpected flavorsomeness made me reckless.

The atmosphere was nicely dark and pub-like, but I'm not a beer drinker, so I can't comment on the real reason for The Firkin and Fox's existence. If it helps, though, the place was pleasantly busy for a late Tuesday afternoon, and the many beer-swillers seemed content. A good sign. I forgot to ask if they served their beer authentically room temp or Americanized-chilled.

My servers were nonetheless attentive and pleasant, and it was a half hour well spent before being plied with "snack boxes" and United's excuse for burgers while being held captive for six hours aboard their craft. Never found out what a Firkin is, though....