Million's Cafe

There's something about girls in tube tanks they are passing as dresses that just doesn't work for me. Beer is dirt cheap. But this place feels like you are going to get ruphied by a frat guy when as soon as you walk in.

This place is not for me, but I know so many people that say this is THE place to go and I just don't get it. There are so many other great places in Cincinnati. Walk across the street and see what you can find!

So torn about this review, since dive bars are usually my thing. However, there's just something about Million's that rubs me the wrong way.

The last time we were there, it was a Wednesday night for karaoke and our large group owned the floor ... mostly because no one else wanted to do karaoke until way later in the night. So for that first hour or so, it was just our group passing the microphone back and forth. Liked that.

Million's is dark. Dark, dark. Like, not mood-lit dark, just dark. There's a bar with a bunch of seats as you walk in and then the dance floor/stage area to your right. I like the little weird touches, like the leather booth right near the window on the dance floor that you can sit in if your legs get tired. You know, from all that dive bar dancing.

They had two bartenders the night I was there. One who was attentive and awesome and the other who I never could signal down the entire night, he just kept walking right by me. It took a friend who was a regular for him to actually stop and me to order a drink. Hmmmm.

However, woah drink prices! Well drinks are $2.00 and domestics, $1.50. Do you know how many Miller High Lifes I did at that price? So many Miller High Lifes (Don't go looking for a selection of craft beers. Dive bar, dive beers.)

It also just feels a little gross. The bar feels gross, the bathroom is gross (and usually missing a light or two), it's just all bad. And not gross in that fun kind of way like, "Yeah, man this place is horrible and I love it." But just kind of, you walk out and want to take a shower.

Also, parking can be a nightmare, especially if it's a popular night. Good luck, traveler!

Overall, this is not my favorite dive bar in the city, but if you are looking for some semi-private karaoke or really, really cheap drinks, this is your spot.

MLT's sister bar as everyone knows that bars are females (especially Mount Lookout bars since there are always a ton of dudes in them).

They used to have stripper pole on the stage that girls would dance on once they were drunk enough. They are no longer there which is both a good and bad thing. Good because many of times the girls dancing on those poles should not be dancing on poles. Bad in that sometimes the girls dancing on the poles should be dancing on poles (no pun intended).

DJ is typically spinning and best drink prices in the square.

Whenever you pay $5 for cover to go to MLT's typically Millions is included, Two bars one cover though as previously mentioned Mount Lookout bars should never have a cover in my humble opinion.